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Grief Has No DNA: Losing My Adopted Mom

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Industry Observer DRE# ER40011786
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I met Virginia at Safeway somewhere around 45 years ago.   When my blood mom passed, Virginia said she would be my "Mom".   It was wonderful!

Knowing it will happen doesn't dull the feelings!    I am so far away, and Virginia, my adopted mom, passed away last night.   She was diagnosed in January with Stage 4 pancreatic cancer.   She wasn't going to do chemo, but her daughter said the doc advised her to do it and will give her a few more months.   It didn't.   He originally said she had 3-6 months.

We did get to spend a few hours a few days before I left, so thankful for that.  She wasn't herself, but understandable.   If I had doc appts and needles in me every few days I would be crabby.

She is in a better place now and lived a long and productive life at 92 years!  This photo was at her birtday party last summer!

RIP Mom!

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Nina Hollander, Broker
Coldwell Banker Realty - Charlotte, NC
Your Greater Charlotte Real Estate Broker

Good morning, Joan... I am so sorry to hear this news, albeit it's not unexpected. So hard to be this far away when someone important in our lives dies. I'm so happy you had a chance to see Virginia and spend some time with her before you left Denver. I hope your good memories of time spent with her over all these years brings a smile to your face at this sad time.

Jun 04, 2026 07:58 AM
GilbertRealtor BillSalvatore
Arizona Elite Properties - Chandler, AZ
Realtor - 602-999-0952 / em: golfArizona@cox.net

So very sorry to hear this.  Sounds like a wonderful woman. Bill 

Jun 04, 2026 08:13 AM
Hannah Williams
HomeStarr Realty - Philadelphia, PA
Expertise NE Philadelphia & Bucks 215-820-3376

Joan Cox, Retired Broker/Owner  My deepest sympathy, Joan. I know you went to see Virginia before you left and spent some time with her, with some regrets about leaving her. May her memory be a blessing to all who knew and loved her.

Jun 04, 2026 08:30 AM
Joan Cox, Retired Broker/Owner
Denver, CO
Enjoying Every Day to Its Fullest!

Nina Hollander, Broker it has been a tough day, but knew this day would come, and SO glad I got to see her before I left.  We did say our goodbyes then, but will always miss her.   She was a beautiful person inside and out!   She made you laugh until you cried.   Those are the good ones!

Jun 04, 2026 11:03 AM
Joan Cox, Retired Broker/Owner
Denver, CO
Enjoying Every Day to Its Fullest!

Bill, she sure was a wonderful person, and will be missed by so many.

Jun 04, 2026 11:03 AM
Joan Cox, Retired Broker/Owner
Denver, CO
Enjoying Every Day to Its Fullest!

Hannah Williams she was loved by so many, and will be missed!   She told me on 5/8, this will be our last time together.    We did say our goodbyes, but still doesn't mean our grief doesn't run DEEP.  THANK YOU.

Jun 04, 2026 11:05 AM
Joan Cox, Retired Broker/Owner
Denver, CO
Enjoying Every Day to Its Fullest!

Sure wish I was able to go back for the funeral, but too much here, and cannot leave right now.

Jun 04, 2026 11:54 AM
Kathy Streib
Cypress, TX
Retired Home Stager/Redesign

Oh Joan- I am so sorry for your loss. Over the years, I've read your posts about her and I know how much she meant to you. You're lucky to have had so many wonderful memories of times spent with her. 

Jun 04, 2026 12:59 PM
Kat Palmiotti
eXp Commercial, Referral Divison - Kalispell, MT
Helping your Montana dreams take root

I am so sorry to hear about your adopted mom's passing. Thinking of you and sending you virtual hugs!

Jun 04, 2026 02:19 PM
Kelly McGovern
Realty Concierge International - Bellingham, MA
Working with Kelly is a good move

My deepest sympathies for the loss of your mom.  They live forever in our hearts!  

Jun 04, 2026 04:39 PM
Joan Cox, Retired Broker/Owner
Denver, CO
Enjoying Every Day to Its Fullest!

Kathy Streib over the last 5 years I have seen her more and spent more quality time with her.  We grilled steaks, drank good wine, and talked until the wee hours.   So many fabulous memories.

Jun 04, 2026 11:36 PM
Joan Cox, Retired Broker/Owner
Denver, CO
Enjoying Every Day to Its Fullest!

Thank you Kat Palmiotti .

Jun 04, 2026 11:36 PM
Joan Cox, Retired Broker/Owner
Denver, CO
Enjoying Every Day to Its Fullest!

Kelly, yes she will.

Jun 04, 2026 11:37 PM
Dr. Paula McDonald
Beam & Branch Realty - Granbury, TX
Granbury, TX 936-203-0279

What a blessing that you had a bonus mom! She looks so cute in that picture.

Jun 06, 2026 09:18 AM
Joan Cox, Retired Broker/Owner
Denver, CO
Enjoying Every Day to Its Fullest!

Paula, she was amazing and loved her so much!

Jun 06, 2026 01:01 PM
Steve Higgins
RE/MAX Kelowna - Kelowna, BC

Hi Joan,

Sorry so to hear about you losing your adopted mom Virginia. Sounds like you had a great relationship with her. At least you had a chance to say goodbye and know she is in a better place. Sending healing energy. 

Jun 06, 2026 03:12 PM
Joan Cox, Retired Broker/Owner
Denver, CO
Enjoying Every Day to Its Fullest!

Thank you Steve Higgins it was wonderful to be able to spend a bit of time with her.  She wasn't herself, and should have known.

Jun 07, 2026 12:04 AM
Steve Higgins
RE/MAX Kelowna - Kelowna, BC

Hi Joan,

You're welcome.  

Jun 27, 2026 11:50 AM
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