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What Do You Do First? Listen or Answer?

By
Real Estate Broker/Owner with Lake Homes Realty

yelling

"Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah"

Okay, this is not quite the level of a pet peeve for me but it can be something that leads to a struggling conversation at best and a lost deal and/or lost referrals at worst.

I am amazed at how many people start talking with an answer before they know the question.  

Of course, I've pondered how they can do this and concluded that, while aggravating, it is not a crime to be:

  • eager, or
  • knowledgeable, or
  • think they are knowledgeable, or
  • think they must be show how knowledgeable they are, or
  • psychic or
  • highly caffeinated.  

But remember the goal here.... communicate to provide maximum value to your clients, service providers, staff and, well, about everyone!

Trying to make a deal happen can make you have the urge to "push" information.  Resist. Let me repeat.  Resist.  Really. 

ListeningShow a little respect.  If you keep cutting someone off when they really are trying to learn more, they will get frustrated or forget the important question you may later wish they had asked. 

And, candidly, most people like to hear themselves talk.  Guess what?  It is okay to let them do most of the talking.  Usually, it is the best scenario!

The person that dominates the conversation is not necessarily the one of the most value.  It is not a contest (or a quarter bet) to see who can say the most words.

Another bonus of listening.  The questions people ask often say more than their statements... IF you take the time to really listen.  What are they asking the most about?  Money?  Schools?   Neighborhood?  Storage?  Transportation?  The color of the paint? 

If you listen, you may learn the real fears they have and are afraid to directly express

And that magic moment will give you an opportunity to be a person of value. 

 (More about how we are our own biggest obstacle here...)

 

Posted by

Glenn S. Phillips is the CEO of Lake Homes Realty, the multi-state, full-service, lake-focused real estate brokerage powered by LakeHomes.com.

 Lake Homes Realty - LakeHomes.com

 

 

Comments (11)

Gary L. Waters Broker Associate, Bucci Realty
Bucci Realty, Inc. - Melbourne, FL
Eighteen Years Experience in Brevard County

A lot of people don't listen - just wait their turn to speak!

Jul 16, 2008 01:08 PM
Karen Anne Stone
New Home Hunters of Fort Worth and Tarrant County - Fort Worth, TX
Fort Worth Real Estate

Glenn:  It sounds to me like you need to pick a new group of agents to do business with.  Sounds like each of them may also be the president of their own fan club.  Yikes !

Jul 16, 2008 01:12 PM
Steve Dawson
J. Rockcliff Realtors (#01723588) - Walnut Creek, CA

A lot of agents don't know much at all, but have been told, "Fake it until you make it"  So when I hear people talk, it makes me ill or laugh depending on the situation.

Jul 16, 2008 01:24 PM
Jimmy McCall
JimmyMcCall.com - Cunningham, TN
The Ex-Mortgage Consultant

Glenn, I learned a long time ago people are either listening or waiting their turn to talk.  If a person is waiting for his turn to talk he is not listening.

Jul 16, 2008 02:36 PM
Bob Cumiskey
A1 Connection Realty, Inc. - Sun City Center, FL
US Army Retired, Your Sun City Center, Florida ~ Realtor

Glenn, Great post.  All too often, when people talk and talk and don't listen, they are turned off.  You can almost see their eyes glaze over.  LOL.

Jul 17, 2008 03:06 AM
Latonia Parks
Top Bragg Realty, Fayetteville NC, Home of the 82d ABN DIV - Fayetteville, NC
Certified Military Relocation Expert

Listening without interrupting is a learned behavior.  I have practiced it for a long time now.

Jul 17, 2008 09:33 AM
Ross Quintana
Real E Smarter - Spokane, WA
Real E Smarter Real Estate Coach - 509-362-1966

Yep basic communication skills that aren't common. Listening will make you a lot of money

Jul 17, 2008 09:35 AM
Glenn S. Phillips
Lake Homes Realty - Birmingham, AL
CEO, Lake Homes Realty / LakeHomes.com

Gary, Excellent Point!!!  Thanks!

Karen, there are some of every type of agent in our world... and every time of support service provider (my post was not limited to agents).  But when I am a customer for something I do indeed do as you suggest and move along to someone that can really be of value.

Steve, isn't it interesting how difficult can be for people to say, "I don't know but I will find out" ?

Jimmy, you are right on.  That is actually a habit I have had to fight... but it has become fun to see what I can listen and learn!

Jul 21, 2008 03:44 PM
Glenn S. Phillips
Lake Homes Realty - Birmingham, AL
CEO, Lake Homes Realty / LakeHomes.com

Bob, you know, I think that is such a great description... eyes glazed over.  Very good stuff!

Aug 26, 2008 01:04 PM
Glenn S. Phillips
Lake Homes Realty - Birmingham, AL
CEO, Lake Homes Realty / LakeHomes.com

Latonia, .... me too!!!

Ross, "Listening will make you a lot of money"... I've got to use that for our sales team!  And our support team!  Thanks!!

Aug 27, 2008 11:16 PM
Cindy Marchant
Keller Williams Indy NE 317-290-7775 www.marchantteam.com - Carmel, IN
"Cindy in Indy" , Realtor, Fishers Real Estate

This is a great post for me...I work at a very fast pace and often am sure I know what they are going to ask...  I took the DISC profile awhile back and now try to mirror my clients speech speed and topics and it is definitely better.

 

Sep 10, 2008 01:22 PM