About a year ago, I was in a McDonald's with my kids that had a play zone. They had cooperated getting the doctor's office so this was their treat, french fries and some play time on the slides. As we walked into the play zone there were several families leaving quickly and within a few seconds I understood why. There were three children seriously misbehaving and SCREAMING in the play zone.
Not one to be shy, I went up to the mother, who had her head in her hands.
"Are you going to stop your kids from screaming?" I asked
"They don't listen to me," she replied.
"If you don't stop their behavior, I will." I stated.
She said nothing, avoiding looking at me.
My kids looked at me, their special treat being ruined. They don't get to go to fast food very often.
Thoroughly disgusted with the lack of parenting, I went up to the main culprit, a boy of about 5, and brought out my BOOMING mommy voice. "Stop screaming this instant or I will have the manager kick you out. This is unacceptable behavior"
Two of the kids stopped cold in their tracks, fear on their faces, stunned that someone was stepping in. The instigator bravely looked at me, "Well, I'll just tell my mother to take us to Burger King," he said in defiance.
"If you think ANYONE is going to let you behave this way besides your mother, you are sadly mistaken. You'll get kicked out of Burger King too. Are you going to knock it off or not?" I BOOMED back.
Thankfully he was a smart little boy who knew I meant what I said, and he quieted down. Not a scream out of him for the rest of the time we were there, and in fact was quite pleasant.
This morning, one of my "young" friends from high school emailed me about comments made by Michael Savage. I had never heard of him, but apparently on July 16th on his radio show he stated this about autism:
"I'll tell you what autism is. In 99 percent of the cases, it's a brat who hasn't been told to cut the act out. That's what autism is. What do you mean they scream and they're silent?
They don't have a father around to tell them, 'Don't act like a moron. You'll get nowhere in life. Stop acting like a putz. Straighten up. Act like a man. Don't sit there crying and screaming, idiot.' "
Savage concluded, "[I]f I behaved like a fool, my father called me a fool. And he said to me, 'Don't behave like a fool.' The worst thing he said -- 'Don't behave like a fool. Don't be anybody's dummy. Don't sound like an idiot. Don't act like a girl. Don't cry.' That's what I was raised with. That's what you should raise your children with. Stop with the sensitivity training. You're turning your son into a girl, and you're turning your nation into a nation of losers and beaten men. That's why we have the politicians we have."
Needless to say his comments have stirred great controversy and there was a protest outside the radio station yesterday. Parents of children with autism sent the blogosphere a buzzing with his statement. On his website, Mr. Savage did not apologize, but stated a clarification of his position.
The lack of parenting, Mr. Savage was referring to, was the experience I had with my children several months ago. I do agree with Mr. Savage, that some parents are not stepping in and setting limits. This is not an issue isolated to Autism. This is a serious ill in our society.
As I was yelling at that 5 year old, I just knew that in about 15 years my tax dollars were going to be paying for his incarceration. I think it is unfortunate that Mr. Savage feels that verbally abusing our children is the way out of autism.
As a parent of an ASD (Autistic Spectrum Disorder) child, I wanted to extend my gratitude for all of you "whimpy dads" out there that give all you have to your special needs child. I'd like to thank you for cheering on every new word, every late night, every sensory overload that you have endured with your child. I'd like to thank you for being nurturing to your child and letting them know they were loved. I'd like to thank you for not listening to people like Mr. Savage and verbally abusing your child. And finally, I'd like to thank you for enduring. The strain is great, and I for one, am thankful for all of you so called whimpy dads...your child with autism needs every bit of patience, nurturance, and love you bring to the world everyday.
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