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Are You a Helicopter Parent?

By
Real Estate Agent with Allen Tate Realtors

An email in my inbox a day or so ago had an article on "Helicopter Parenting".   It reminds me of a young client I had a couple of years ago and who definitely had a helicopter parents.  The Dad might have let go, but the mother would or could not.   

He was a great young guy, all grown up, college graduate, held a good job and took another good job during the time I worked with him.  I assisted them with the sale of his home and his parents were at the "listing interview" with me.  The mother actually thought she could sign all the legal documents for him.  I had to explain why they could not; he was the legal owner of record on the tax records and mortgage.  They may have fronted him the money and could have felt as if they were the legal owners, but the contract had to be in his name.  It was nice to have parents making sure the home was spiffed up and showing ready, but it was a bit unusual.

 All went reasonable well and we ended up with a total of 3 offers over the period of a couple of months.  He turned down each offer, after talking with his parents, but the mom was the one who was calling all the shots. When we got to the 3rd offer, I told him if he did not take this offer, I would no longer represent him as it was a tremendous drain on my time to have good offers turned down.  At first, they refused to do any repairs until I reminded them of the contract issue on repairs.  I had no real dislike for him, in fact he was a very likable young man but that was a very difficult time because his mom was doing the negotiating through him. 

When we got to closing, guess what, mom was there as well.  She came down to stay awhile as she wanted to help him find a home where he was moving (out of my service area).  They were very pleasant and the closing went smoothly. 

Several times during the listing and sale, I remember referring to her as a Helicopter Parent. The young person will never be able to totally function on his/her own if parents continue to run their lives.  There comes a time when every parent has to grit their teeth and let them learn how to become grown up without us hovering too much.  That is hard to do, but if you don't, you can have a 45 year old child who cannot function without your direction.  That is not good parenting, it is truly helicopter parenting and it can cripple the emotional growth of the kids.

Comments(2)

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LLoyd Nichols
Premier Florida Realty - Fort Myers, FL
Southwest Florida Homes By The Sea

There's a fine line, Sheila, between "being there" and "being too much there."

Regards,

Lloyd Nichols

Jul 30, 2008 03:35 PM
Susie Blackmon
Ocala, FL
Ocala, Horses, Western Wear, Horse Farms, Marketing

I think helicopter parents are sometimes the result of (1) living in the south and/or (2) culture.  Can't expound on this as I never had, or wanted, children, but thankfully my sisters did!  Being raised in Hawaii, you see several generations living in the same household, etc.  Helicoptering without leaving the ground!

Jul 30, 2008 08:53 PM