What an interesting industry we are in! Housing Bills, foreclosures, REO, short sales, so much new terminology to weave into our language on a daily basis. Tax incentives (which we all as taxpayers pay for....gee do you think we can figure out a way to make our portion of this contribution tax deductable as a business expense?), motivated sellers, builders desperate to get rid of inventory. People leaving the business (in Georgia there were approximately 550 mortgage companies who did not bother to renew their licenses for the new fiscal year- and that doesn't count all the ones who had previously withdrawn their license), real estate offices closing, attorneys and closing agents closing.
We have to face reality and know that these are tough times. BUT, it does not all have to be doom and gloom! Active Rain is a great place for us to help each other, pick each other up, and try to make our survival through these tough times into the the good times we know are going to come a little brighter, a little easier. In that vain please consider the following for this Friday;
A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One is adopted by a family in Spain and is named Jaun. The other is adopted by a family in Egypt and is named Ahmal. Years later the mother, who is now married, tracks down the families and asks for at least a picture of the boys. The family in Spain agrees and sends her a picture of Jaun. She does not hear from the family in Egypt. She complains to her husband that she really wishes she had a picture of both. He replies "What's the matter? They are twins! If you have seen Jaun you have seen Ahmal!"
Supervisors in the mortgage banking business (if we can't make fun or ourselves we can't make fun of anyone) often struggle with how to phrase that letter of recommendation for that fired employee. Here are a few clever suggestions;
For the chronically absent; "A man like him is hard to find" Or "It seemed her career was just taking off!"
For the office drunk; "I feel his real talent is wasted here" Or "We generally found him loaded with work to do." And "Every hour with him was a happy hour."
For an employee with no ambition; "He could not care less about the number of hours he had to put in." "You would indeed be fortunate to get this person to work for you."
For an employee who is so unproductive that the job is better left unfilled; "I can assure you that no person would be better for the job."
For an employee who is not worth further consideration as a job candidate; "I would urge you to waste no time in making this candidate an offer of employment." Or "all in all, I cannot say enough good things about this candidate or recommend him too highly."
For a stupid employee; "There is nothing you can teach a man like him." Or "I most enthusiastically recommend this candidate with no qualifications whatsoever."
For a dishonest employee; "Her true ability was deceiving." Or "He's an unbelievable worker."
Last but not least;
A man was driving down a country highway when he ran out of gas. He was able to pull the car over to the side of the road. There was no other traffic and he didn't have a cell phone with him. His window was open and a bee flew in. The bee said "What seems to be the problem?" The man told him he was out of gas, had no way to communicate with anyone and wasn't sure what to do. The bee replied "I think I might be able to help. Wait here." The bee flew away and came back a few minutes later with a swarm of fellow bees. They undid the gas cap, flew into the tank, stayed for several minutes, flew back out, put the cap back on, and flew away. The first bee stayed, flew into the car and said to the man "Try it now." The man turned the key and the car started right up! The man said "What did you do?" The bee responded "We filled your tank with bp!" and flew away.
I hope that some of these might brighten your day. I must give credit to Rob Chrisman, the Director of Capital Markets with NL Inc. whose newsletter I receive daily along with these jokes. While the newsletter is often filled with info that is not so good I always look forward to a smile at the end. I hope these provide a smile to the end of your week!