Death Struck My Household

By
Real Estate Agent with Re/Max Spirit

Well this weekend it finally happened, Death entered my home and took away a family member. 

My neighbor upgraded to a 10 gallon aquarium last month and gave my kids the old 2 1/2 gallon starter aquarium.  So we went out and let each kid pick out 1 fish each to call their own. 

My daughter (5) picked out a .99 cent fish and named him Brownie.  My Son (4) picked out the same type of fish, but slightly smaller and named him Nemo.  These fish have thrived, they play, they enjoy life. 

This weekend my wife changed the water in the tank added a fake plant to spruce up the tank.  The kids watched the whole process.  They encouraged their fish as they were confined to a small cup during the habitiat cleaning process.  All went well, and the fish were released back to their clean digs. 

Then the unfortunate happened.  Nemo was floating.  We thought the Boy was upstairs when my wife broke the news, but he heard the word dead and came running.  Conviced the fish was sleeping he asked to give a poke at the fish.  DEAD.  We had to officially pronouce Nemo as dead. 

It was the kids' first brush with Death.  There were a few tears, but they pulled through.  He decided he wants another Nemo, so we will be going to the pet store to procure another fish for him.  They have requested that I not throw the dog in the trash can if she dies as I did the fish though. 

So please keep Nemo in your thoughs and prayers. 

Death is a tricky thing to explain to a 4 and 5 year old, no matter what the situation is. 

Comments (89)

Ted Komenda
Dunhill Group - Osterville, MA

I find that death is such a difficult topic to explain to children.  It seems better to do exactly what your doing and let them learn for themselves at an early age otherwise it will be more dramatic and shocking when someone as opposed to something dies.

Ted

Dec 31, 2008 05:05 AM
Margaret Woda
Long & Foster Real Estate, Inc. - Crofton, MD
Maryland Real Estate & Military Relocation

'Glad to get your comment on my post about throwing out the baby with the bath water.  I hope that means you're back, and we can look forward to more posts from Chad in '09.  You sure struck a chord with this one... 70 comments on a non-featured post must be a record.

Jan 04, 2009 11:08 PM
James Graner
Residential Services: http://appraisalmo.com - Saint Charles, MO

That is awful! Sorry to hear that!

My son went to Walmart with his Mom and bought goldfish to compliment his aquariam that holds his aquatic turtle. You guessed it, those fish made a nice snack!

 

Jan 04, 2009 11:20 PM
Kathy Kooyman
Home Realty - Pella, IA

Chad ~ we have figured out the way to keep a goldfish alive.  My 11 year old daughter has a gold fish bowl in her room, she rarely cleans it and I'm not sure how often she feeds it.  This goldfish has been alive for over a year!  Go Figure. 

Death of a pet is a good learning experience, it opens the doors for us as adults to talk about things with our children.  Hopefully when we really do lose a loved one they will have a little big better understanding.

Jan 05, 2009 12:38 AM
Chad Baird
Re/Max Spirit - Dayton, OH

Kathy-  I've learned to let my wife take care of the fish.  With fish less care makes them live longer? 

James-  Turtles and fish do not mix.  As a kid my dad had Caymin (alligators).  A turtle got intoduced into the aquarium and the gator bit the turtle once then gave up.  Goldfish bacame their favorite snack. 

Margret-  Im back in for 09, excpet big things drom me.  2008 took its toll but life is back on track. 

Ted-  I agree.  Luckily the kids have not had to experience Somebody dieing yet, but its coming down to a matter of time. 

Russell-  Thanks for your words.  It has been a long time, i'm back now. 

James-  We could have replaced it, should have replaced it, but I threw it in the tash and took it out.  I should have handled it better, I know, but I acted n the moment. 

Chet-  I agree, when I posted it I was just looking to unload some grief that my son had.  Who knew we all had stories. 

Jan 05, 2009 04:22 AM
Chad Baird
Re/Max Spirit - Dayton, OH

Sandy-  Yes we learned that lesson.  Nemo 2 is thriving today. 

Eileen-  Its a fish.  When I married my wife she had a great dane.  I did love that dog, but he died.  She was upset and wanted him creamated, I agreed as she was pregnant and upset.  I still have this 30 pound box of ashes in my office 7 years later.  Still not sure what the heck to do with the poor dog. 

Gary-  I agree, death is hard to explain to an adult, a kid makes it tougher. 

Norma-  I need some practice on the 2 minute funeral! 

Shiela-  Im not looking forward to the dog passing.  That will be a tru tragedy.  Sorry for your loss. 

 

Jan 05, 2009 04:45 AM
Chad Baird
Re/Max Spirit - Dayton, OH

Russell-  Yes we have learned about the chlorine remover (the hard way). 

Barbara-  I agree you had to scold the dog, but give her treats in private HAHA!  My kids want one of those things, me not so much,  1 dog and 2 fish is good for me! 

Kelly-  Thank you for the kind words. 

Tony-   Sorry to learn about you losses. 

Jim-  Thanks for your words.  I thought a quick disposal was best for all. 

 

Jan 05, 2009 04:54 AM
Chad Baird
Re/Max Spirit - Dayton, OH

Russell-  Yes we have learned about the chlorine remover (the hard way). 

Barbara-  I agree you had to scold the dog, but give her treats in private HAHA!  My kids want one of those things, me not so much,  1 dog and 2 fish is good for me! 

Kelly-  Thank you for the kind words. 

Tony-   Sorry to learn about you losses. 

Jim-  Thanks for your words.  I thought a quick disposal was best for all. 

 

Jan 05, 2009 04:55 AM
Shawn Davis
Home Crossings, P.C. - Davison, MI
Homes For Sale, Genesee County, Michigan

My condolences and I feel your pain, reminiscing a few years ago when we first set up our salt water tank, My husband purchased the purple velvet star fish....and sadly we watched it dehydrate. Even after purchasing the rescue tank, we couldn't save it; and later found out the salinity is sometimes reduced in pet shops much lower than the recomended levels of consumer reef tanks.  So sorry to hear of your loss; after a few hundred dollars and a few more losses, we found a reputable aquarium shop, and an expert in reef aquariums.  Ask them to sample their water and to show you the specific gravity meter of their fish's capitivity, if it is much different than yours....then your fish will not survive even if you acclimate them.

I copied this url for more information on this topic.

http://www.fishlore.com/acclimating-tropicalfish.htm

:( t.....Shawn

 

Jan 05, 2009 06:34 AM
Marilyn Katz
Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices New England Properties - Westport, CT
ABR, e-PRO - WestportCTProperties.com

Chad - When my son was around 8 years old, he had a 10-gallon tank, full of tropicals, in his room.  On one cold winter day, he decided to warm the fish up and adjusted the heater.  We came home to a tank full of fried fish.

Jan 11, 2009 04:38 AM
Josh Holt
RE/MAX Coast To Coast~ Dedicated to You! - Berwick, ME
Southern Maine and NH Real Estate - Your Source of Info on the Berwicks

CHad- OMG. I'm alol right now. I'm at a loss of words for the first time in a long time... 

Jan 13, 2009 04:44 AM
Betina Foreman
WJK Realty - Austin, TX
Realtor, C.N.E., with WJK REALTY

My Mom flushed "Goldie" my goldfish down the toilet so he could swim to the ocean and fishie heaven.

Jan 13, 2009 05:06 AM
April Hayden-Munson
Brookfield, WI
Brookfield Wisconsin Real Estate

Chad - Thanks for stopping by my blog.  So your dog can cover himself with a blanket?  Sounds cute!

April

Jan 19, 2009 09:52 AM
Lisa Wetzel
RE/MAX Realty Affiliates - Carson City, NV
CDPE, SFR carsonvalleyland.com

Chad - We are a "flushing" family too.  Our famiy friend, David, works at the local Sanitation District.  When our kids were young we always told them that we werer sending their fish friends to David!

Great Post!

Jan 21, 2009 07:33 PM
Gary White~Grand Rapids Home Selling Pro Call: 616-821-9375
Flexit Realty "Flexible Home Selling Solutions" - Grand Rapids, MI
Real Estate Services You can Trust!

Hi Chad haven't seen you on much...hope all is well.

Jan 22, 2009 11:17 AM
Debbie Summers
Charles Rutenberg Realty - New Smyrna Beach, FL

Chad - My mom replaced my goldfish 3 times before she told me that it had died... She said she didn't want me to have to face the fact that he died...  She says that I just shrugged my shoulders and said okay.  Fish are tough... they often don't last long.

Jan 28, 2009 10:21 AM
Jim Frimmer
HomeSmart Realty West - San Diego, CA
Realtor & CDPE, Mission Valley specialist

Hey, Chad.

I see this is your most recent post. I hope all is well with you and yours and that you'll be back Playing in the Rain with us soon.

Feb 01, 2009 07:40 AM
Randy Hooker
Dreamcatcher Realty / Greater Phoenix Area - Gilbert, AZ
Gilbert, Chandler, Mesa, Queen Creek

Chad ~ Man, what do we have to do to get you fired up and blogging again?!?!?  You have a great sense of humor, directness and writing style.  Come  on man - what gives?    ;-)

Randy Hooker

Feb 04, 2009 04:27 PM
Gita Bantwal
RE/MAX Centre Realtors - Warwick, PA
REALTOR,ABR,CRS,SRES,GRI - Bucks County & Philadel

Chad, I remember when my son was 5 years old he wanted a pet so I got a Goldfish.When the Goldfish died I was so upset  and did not know what to do.I thought if I buried it the cat would dig it up and eat it. I did not want to upset my son so I replaced it with another one and my friend told me that I should flush the dead fish down the toilet .

Feb 11, 2009 09:47 PM
Lisa Wetzel
RE/MAX Realty Affiliates - Carson City, NV
CDPE, SFR carsonvalleyland.com

In our house a close friend, David, was the engineer at the local Sanitation Department ... the sewer plant ... when our fish went to fishy heaven we always flushed them and told the kids we were sending them to David!

Jun 11, 2009 12:54 PM