One of my clients sent me the jokes below. I don't know if the stories are true or not, but I thought they were pretty funny. They are suppose to be true "Here's Your Sign" Events that occurred. Hope you have fun in the Rain this work week!
One Idiot of 2007
I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control
center. Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter
eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be
no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the
conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in
order to kill the ants. I told her that she better bring her daughter in to the emergency room
right away.
Here's your sign, lady. Wear it with pride.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Number Two Idiot of 2007
Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal a life raft from one
of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out of the plane and home. Shortly after they
took it for a float on the river, they noticed a Coast Guard helicopter coming toward them.
It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator beacon that activated
when the raft was inflated. They are no longer employed at Boeing.
Here's your sign, guys. Don't get it wet; the paint might run.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Number Three Idiot of 2007
A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the Branch and wrote
this, 'Put all your muny in this bag.' While standing in line, waiting to give his note to the
teller, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the
police before he reached the teller's window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed
the street to the Wells Fargo Bank. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note
to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't
the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not accept his stickup note because
it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a
Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man
said, 'OK' and left. He was arrested a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of
America.
Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it anyway.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Number Four Idiot of 2007
A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that; measured his
speed using radar and photographed his car. He later received in the mail a ticket for
$40 and a photo of his car. Instead of payment, he sent the police department a
photograph of $40. Several days later, he received a letter from the police that contained
another picture, this time of handcuffs. He immediately mailed in his $40.
Wise guy........
But you still get a sign
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Number Five Idiot of 2007
A guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all of the cash
from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the robber saw a
bottle of Scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier
to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said, 'Because I don't believe
you are over 21.' The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him
because she didn't believe him. At this point, the robber took his driver's license out of
his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was
in fact over 21 and she put the Scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with
his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the
robber that he got off the license. They arrested the robber two hours later.
This guy definitely needs a sign.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Idiot Number Six of 2007
A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers.
The first one shouted, 'Nobody move!' When his partner moved, the startled first bandit
shot him.
This guy doesn't even deserve a sign
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Idiot Number Seven of 2007
Arkansas: Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just
throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he
lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block
bounced back knocking him unconscious It seems the liquor store window was made of
Plexi-Glass. The whole event was caught on videotape.
Yep, here's your sign.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Idiot Number Eight of 2007
I live in a semi-rural area. ( Weyauwega , Wisconsin) We recently had a new
neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the
Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out
here! - I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'
Comments(8)