Preventing a parent from taking a Reverse Mortgage can be "elder abuse"

Mortgage and Lending with First Meridian Mortgage

I have dealt with several scenarios where a reverse Mortgage was the ideal solution for someone, but their children objected to it. Some of those borrowers were able to overcome their children's objections and some others weren't.

In my opinion, preventing your parent form accessing the equity in their own home to allow them the financial peace that a Reverse Mortgae can bring, is tantamount to elder abuse.

Don't get me wrong, as I have said before, in most cases the children want what's best for their parents and once they understand how the product works, they support it. It just drives me crazy when the borrower know that it is what's best for them and they tell me that they either they are afriad of their kids or that they "just aren't strong enough' to go ahead with it without their children's blessing.

Comments (19)

One Sothebys International Realty - Cooper City, FL
Selling Broward County Homes with Passion!

I wonder if the kids fear losing their inheritance?  Stranger things have happened and money brings the worst out in many people.

Aug 20, 2008 12:35 AM
Michael Pinter
First Meridian Mortgage - Brooklyn, NY


Thanks for the comment. Sometime sthat is teh case. Sometime sthey justheard that RM's are bad. Either way, they are neglecting what's best for their parents.

Aug 20, 2008 12:38 AM
Edward moloney
Edward Moloney Loan Officer GMH Mortgage Services - Holliston, MA
Loan Officer Providing 5 STAR SERVICE

The reality is reverse mortgages are not always the best solution for the client. I have seen many cases where other mortgage people were pushing the reverse mortgage on the client and the reality was that the client would have been served better by and equity line. Reason was the costs associated with the reverse mortgage and the time that the client planned on living in the home. The other mortgage person would not even consider that option since they would not recieve as much compensation. Reality is every case is different

Aug 20, 2008 12:42 AM
Sharon Young
Ivy League Mortgage Philadelphia, Pa - Southampton, PA

Michael, my husband also is in the mortgage business and has been doing RM's for a couple of years now. It's just a lack of education. People believe all the negative press from those who just don't know! It's not for everybody or every situation, but many times it can be a lifesaver. We just have to help people understand how it works. Keep up the good work.

Aug 20, 2008 12:44 AM
Michael Pinter
First Meridian Mortgage - Brooklyn, NY


Thanks for the comment. I agree, every case is different.

Aug 20, 2008 12:47 AM
Michael Pinter
First Meridian Mortgage - Brooklyn, NY


Thanks for the comment. I couldn't agree more. People's perception. for the most part, is negative about the product.

Aug 20, 2008 12:48 AM
Sharon Young
Ivy League Mortgage Philadelphia, Pa - Southampton, PA

To Edward, but with an equity line comes a payment. That may be what they are trying to avoid. You can also use an RM to purchase a home. Which mortgage fits for which client at which time is the job of a good loan officer. Whether it's an RM or a forward loan. As far as compensation, most cases they pay less than a regular loan. And they are time consuming.

Aug 20, 2008 12:49 AM
Evelyn Panning
Property Connections Realty Inc. - Alturas, CA

One size doesn't fit all when it comes to RM -- I do believe that there are "children" who don't want to see their inheritance disappear.  Hopefully an elderly person has a strong non family member to help out with overbearing children. ~ Evelyn

Aug 20, 2008 01:00 AM
Michael Pinter
First Meridian Mortgage - Brooklyn, NY



Thanks for the comment. I agree completely.

Aug 20, 2008 01:05 AM
Aaron Cullen
Brokers Inc. Residential Real estate - Folsom, CA
Folsom, El Dorado Hills & Sacramento Real Estate &

Hi Michael, it is sad when you see kids that are more concerned for themselves that their parents.  It is not unusual to see and often times, no matter what you say, the kids will win.

Aug 20, 2008 01:42 AM
Patty Carroll
Vancouver, WA

We have talked with our parents and they are considering a RM when and if they need it. We told them enjoy your money you worked hard for it and we'll make our own.

Aug 20, 2008 01:47 AM
Betina Foreman
WJK Realty - Austin, TX
Realtor, C.N.E., with WJK REALTY

Some kids are looking out for their parents and the family home. Sometimes the kids may not know exactly how a RM works and be intimidated. Education is the best defense against stupid decisions. Educate yourself before you decide something so important. Also each homeowners situation is different. You should always arm yourself with knowledge and talk to several pros AND your family to decide what is right for you.

Aug 20, 2008 02:05 AM
Michael Pinter
First Meridian Mortgage - Brooklyn, NY


You are correct, it is very sad when children do not act in their parents best interests.

Aug 20, 2008 05:37 AM
Michael Pinter
First Meridian Mortgage - Brooklyn, NY

Patty & Scott,

Good for you. I think that your attitude is more represntative of the majoirty of scenarios I have seen.

Aug 20, 2008 05:38 AM
Michael Pinter
First Meridian Mortgage - Brooklyn, NY


You are right on the money. Education is key.

Aug 20, 2008 05:41 AM
Peter J Napoli
Wells Fargo Home Mortgage - Cranford, NJ

As a reverse mortgage specialist I feel it is my job to educate the elderly and the childen as to the benifits of the reverse mortgage, I spend more time "telling rather than selling" . There is so much misinformation out and so many people just don't know.


Aug 21, 2008 02:46 AM
Michael Pinter
First Meridian Mortgage - Brooklyn, NY


You are preaching to the choir. I couldn't agree more. Thanks for the comment.

Aug 21, 2008 03:01 AM
Retired Notworking
Tallahassee, FL

I agree with the need to educate more people and I am trying to self-educate and then will discuss with a lender.

I can understand those who are leery - it seems too good to be true. Are lenders really being altruistic or is this just another loan program that helps the lenders stay in business?

Jan 10, 2009 02:55 AM
Michael Pinter
First Meridian Mortgage - Brooklyn, NY


The second biggest problem I have is that many borrowers think it is "too good to be true" This is an incredible product that has helped over 400,000 people already.

Michael Pinter

Jan 11, 2009 05:42 AM