How to NOT sell your house!

Real Estate Agent with Watson Realty Corporation BK452572



Disclaimer:  All examples used in this are fictional.

Any resemblance to you is coincidental. The purpose of this is to inform not insult!

1) Leave the lawn, after all its the house they are buying.  No need to pick up all those little presents Fido has been leaving you all over the yard either.

2) Paint your walls in bright, vivid colors and patterns. After all everyone loves a red and purple room with green dots!

3) Leave out your dirty movies and magazines. No one will see them, its the house they are looking at.

4) What odors?  My house doesn't stink.  So what if I smoke cigars and Fido has an accident every now and then.

5) Leave dirty dishes in the sink and counter tops.  I was in a hurry!

6) No need to fix that hole in the wall where your little ones threw that ball.  After all they only broke the ceiling fan and left a 4 inch hole.  Anyone with kids will understand.

7) No need to fix that leak under the kitchen sink.  As long as I dump that bucket every two or three days, no harm done.

8) Leave those dirty, wet towels and clothes on the floors.  The alarm clock didn't go off this morning and I' not expecting to show the house today.

9) Fido is such a sweet dog, he wouldn't hurt anyone.  Let's leave him out of his crate today.

10) No need to clean that green slippery slime off the steps.  It's only slippery when its wet and I haven't fell yet.

If any of these remarks resemble you, sorry!  I hope you like your house.

Happy houselogo

Comments (13)

Betina Foreman
WJK Realty - Austin, TX
Realtor, C.N.E., with WJK REALTY

I think I listed that house! Some homeowners can't see the forest for the trees. Thanks for the cute post!

Aug 20, 2008 02:06 AM
Richard Mielke
RE/MAX Results - Gettysburg, PA
REALTOR, Gettysburg Pennsylvania Real Estate

Leaving dirty dishes in the sink gives the kitchen that homey feeling and shows potential buyers just how spacious the sink is. They can see that it holds several meals worth of dishes.

Aug 20, 2008 02:08 AM
Carol Swain
Keller Williams Real Estate - Langhorne, PA
Realtor, Bucks County, Pa

Very amusing!  I love it because it is so true!  It is a shame you can not always get this point across to sellers.

Aug 20, 2008 02:09 AM
Larry Bettag
Cherry Creek Mortgage Illinois Residential Mortgage License LMB #0005759 Cherry Creek Mortgage NMLS #: 3001 - Saint Charles, IL
Vice-President of National Production

These are very amusing indeed.  It amazes me at what people will do.

Aug 20, 2008 02:13 AM
Lynda Bloom
Weichert, Realtors - Rockville, MD

Amusing post.  On a serious note, when I have a seller like this, I find it helps to stick them in my car and take them to see some of their competition.  It usually works without my having to say a word.

Lynda K. Bloom, Weichert Realtors - Selling Rockville Maryland Real Estate and surrounding Montogmery County.


Aug 20, 2008 02:13 AM
Anne Hensel
South Beaches Real Estate Professionals - Saint Petersburg, FL
Realtor - Broker - St. Pete Beach, Treasure Island

and why do Realtors see all these thing and sellers don't ? Good thing is, they listen to us when we point out this minor little details.

Good luck


Aug 20, 2008 02:13 AM
Sasha Miletic - Windsor Real Estate
RE/MAX Preferred Realty Ltd. - Windsor, ON

Hi Charlotte, These are very valuable informations. Keep posyting best.

Best - Sash

Aug 20, 2008 02:14 AM
Tim Maitski - Sandy Springs, GA
Editor of


You've been featured on "Just Real Estate, The best of ActiveRain for the hard core real estate fanatic. No recipes, no jokes, no SEO, no fluff"  

I'm using the new ActiveRain reblog tool to create a blog of reblogged posts that just focus on real estate.   

I thought your post was good and wanted to get you a little more exposure.  

This post is so funny because it's so true.  I've heard many of those responses before.


Aug 20, 2008 02:19 AM
Rosalinda Morgan
Brookville, NY
"The Rose Lady"

I sold this house.  The seller refused to clean up because he said his ex-wife will get the money.

Aug 20, 2008 02:28 AM
Charlotte Rose
Watson Realty Corporation - Clermont, FL

Thanks for all your positive responses.  I spent a week on How to sell you house and did not receive this many.  I am fairly new to blogging and still trying to find my niche, maybe its to look at the otherside and add a little humor.  Again thanks!


Aug 20, 2008 03:36 AM
Rebecca Anne Cole
PNC Mortgage - Timonium, MD

It is true that people can be so emotionally involved with their home that they cannot see the reality of what a potential buyer will see.  I enjoyed the tone and humor of your post.  Thanks for sharing!     

Aug 20, 2008 03:47 AM
Laurie Calhoun
Gloria Home Staging, Inc. - Winter Springs, FL
Seminole County FL Home Stager

We home stagers say that we want the buyers to get a vision of how their lives could be if they buy this house. We don't want them to know what life will be like! "You mean I'll have to do dishes here, too?" It's hard to get people to feel positive about houses that smell like litter boxes, too. Thanks for the post! Very true, and funny.

Aug 20, 2008 09:53 AM
Steve Lightcap Jr.
HouseMaster Home Inspections - Clermont, FL

Great post! Very amusing! We've see our share of funky houses as home inspectors... once we had an odor we just couldn't place, eventually we located an old camping toilet in the attic with that nasty blue liquid freshener stuff that had obviously expired.. 

Nov 13, 2008 02:04 PM