10. Your agent doesn't bother to post pictures on your listing.
9. Your agent has taken pictures but your house is being featured on Bad MLS pictures. Yes, this is a real website.
8. Your agent has decided to call your circa 1953 Ranch a Tudor just because it has a brick exterior.
7. Your agent tells you "You don't need to paint (your dingy faded walls). The buyers will want to pick their own colors. You don't need to re-carpet (even though it smells). We'll (you'll) just give them a carpet allowance. What they don't tell you is that you're going to lose up to 10 times the cost of these simple improvements and you're going to gain days, weeks or months on the market.
6. Your agent tells you "It's okay for you not to have a sign if you don't want one. A serious buyer will find it." Believe me, when it comes to real estate, anonymity is a dirty word.
5. When you say you don't want to have a lockbox your agent weenies out and tells you what you want to hear instead of the truth. "You don't really need a lockbox if you don't want one. I'm sure the agents won't mind making a special appointment to see your home." Not!
4. No driving directions on your listing.
3. Worse yet, driving directions that lead agents in the exact opposite direction. My favorite is turn left or right with no point of reference. Sometimes your best offer will come from an out-of-area agent. Why make it hard for them to find your house?
2. An agent is standing at your door with their buyers and, try though they may, they can't get the key to work. After tracking down your agent they get the following instructions: "Insert the key half way in, take a deep breath, lean to the left while pushing the key in and turning it to the right at the same time." For pete's sake get a new lockset installed before you list!
1. Your agent neglects to mention in the listing, "You'll be greeted by Sally the friendly pitbull. Don't worry about about the fact that she'll charge you with teeth bared- she's actually very friendly." I'm not making this up, it happened to me just last month. Can you spell lawsuit?