Work With What You Have... You're Wonderful Just the Way You Are!

Education & Training with Sell with Soul

How old are you now - 25? 32? 47? 65? It doesn't really matter; I'll assume that if you're reading Active Rain blogs, you're old enough. Old enough for what? Well, to know WHO you are, WHAT you like to do, WHERE you like to do it, and HOW often, right?mirror

In other words, you ARE who you ARE and you'll probably not change all that much. Agreed?

I've been reading a lot of sales training material lately - not just real estate sales training; stuff by other gurus as well. What I keep seeing is how salespeople need to "get over their fear" or "stop wasting time on pretty brochures" or "suck it up and do it" (whatever "it" is that the salesperson doesn't want to do).

Now, this annoys me. Why? Because it assumes that there is only one personality or approach that will work when one is trying to find customers and then persuade them to part with their hard-earned money. That if you don't do it "this way" you'll fail miserably. And I don't believe that.

I think that if you're great at creating fabulous brochures, that's part of your personality and you're far better off finding a way to harness that energy in your sales efforts. If you suck at networking events, there's no reason to torture yourself by attending - but I'll bet there's something else you would enjoy which would allow your natural wonderful-ness to shine thru. If you cringe at the thought of begging your friends for referrals (on the first Monday of every month), then it's perfectly fine NOT to do it - and to use that natural reluctance to pester to your advantage.

You don't have to become someone you aren't... someone you don't recognize... someone you don't even like much to succeed in a sales career. In fact, you'll sell a lot more once you abandon the notion that you have to change, and work on capitalizing on the gifts and talents God gave you. There IS a natural salesperson in there... but it's probably NOT that person you read about in the last "How To Sell" book you bought!

Related Blogs:

"Curing" the Reluctant Salesperson

In Praise of the Unnatural Salesperson

Stay IN Your Comfort Zone

Be Yourself... Have More Fun... Sell More Real Estate


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The More Fun You Have Selling Real Estate, the More Real Estate You Will Sell! 
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Jennifer Allan-Hagedorn
Sell with Soul - Pensacola Beach, FL
Author of Sell with Soul

Thanks, Betina - I like it, too... Inna Hardison did it for me -


Aug 26, 2008 06:19 AM #2
Michael Delp
Mortgage Pro - Telford, PA

Glad that you think I am wonderful for who I am...... Just hoping my customers do as well! 

Aug 26, 2008 06:25 AM #3
Susan Haughton
Long and Foster REALTORS (703) 470-4545 - Alexandria, VA
Susan & Mindy Team...Honesty. Integrity. Results.

Yes!!!  You have it exactly right.  My all time favorite is "it's time to get out of your comfort zone!"  HUH?  Why on earth would I want to run a business that requires me to be UNCOMFORTABLE?  Uh, I don't think so! 

When we pretend to be something we are not, we will fail miserably - or at least be miserable.  No thanks.

Aug 26, 2008 06:32 AM #4
Elaine Hanson
Compass - Topanga, CA
REALTOR - Topanga, CA Real Estate Agent

But Jennifer, tha last sales book I bought DID have my inner salesperson in it!  It was called "Sell With Soul"  :)

Aug 26, 2008 06:42 AM #5
Tricia Thomas
Prudential Gulick REALTORS - Pottstown, PA

Thanks Jennifer,

You always have helpful/insightful/motivating words.  I'm a brand-spanking new FEMALE commercial realtor at the ripe old age of 39. Cold calling/prospecting gives me hives, so I am glad it's "OK" to focus my efforts where they are best spent...whatever that may be.

Thanks again,






Aug 26, 2008 06:49 AM #6
Jennifer Allan-Hagedorn
Sell with Soul - Pensacola Beach, FL
Author of Sell with Soul

Tricia, Bingo - I think the female sales community has been grossly underserved in the training industry. We are NOT men and we don't have to be men to succeed! I promise!

Elaine - well, then you're okay. Go ahead and do everything that book says... ;-}

Susan - how come you always say it better than I do?

Michael - you ROCK!!!! And if you stay true to yourself... your customers will think so, too. It's when you don't that people are underwhelmed.


Aug 26, 2008 07:29 AM #7
Gary Woltal
Keller Williams Realty - Flower Mound, TX
Assoc. Broker Realtor SFR Dallas Ft. Worth

Jennifer, your concept of the "natural" salesperson I am so in agreement with you on. You must play up to your strengths and quit fighting the part that isn't you.

Aug 26, 2008 08:35 AM #8
Kathy McGraw
CELLing Realty - White Water, CA
Riverside County CA Real Estate

Jennifer- I like your Philosophy...just be yourself.  Too many people try to copy someone else, or follow advice that doesn't fit their personality......yep, I like what you have to say.

Aug 26, 2008 10:25 AM #9
Paddy (Patricia) Pizappi
Better Homes and Gardens Rand Realty - Pine Bush, NY
Real Estate Associate Broker Hudson Valley NY

Hi Jennifer Great reminder that we need to like what we do in order to work well and if you are doing something that you don't enjoy it is going to backfire big time.  Thanks for the post.

Aug 26, 2008 11:58 AM #10
Glenn S. Phillips
Lake Homes Realty - Birmingham, AL
CEO, Lake Homes Realty /

Hi Jennifer, Great Stuff!!!!   I agree it is about finding who you are and then proceeding.  I think many folks spend too much time trying to be someone else.  Geez, that is a lot of work.  And, I think most people intuitively feel a sense of insecurity around someone that is not being themselves.  (Hard to be a trusted advisor for others when you don't trust yourself.)  G

Aug 26, 2008 12:59 PM #11
Tracy Santrock
Fonville Morisey/Santrock Realty Group, Inc. - Cary, NC
Raleigh - Cary Realtor/Broker In Charge

I'm hypercritical, grew up in Dallas, and find it hard to release old tapes.  I'll get over it but the relaxation doesn't come easy.

Aug 26, 2008 02:21 PM #12
Martha Brown
Long & Foster Real Estate, Inc., Annapolis MD 21403 - Annapolis, MD
Your Homes Around Annapolis Agent

Jennifer- When I first started in real estate I made the mistake of trying to be all those 'people' the real estate books and tapes said I should be. Ugh, I was miserable and did very little business until I just started being myself. After all who is better at being me than me! Been a great career ever since.

Aug 26, 2008 02:39 PM #13
Gail Wilson
Albany, OR

Jennifer, great words of wisdom.  I just got my license a little over a month ago and I'm really struggling with who "they" want me to be.  And feeling like I will fail if I don't conform.   You make it sound like there is hope out there for me.



Aug 26, 2008 02:44 PM #14
Dawn Isenhower
Sibcy Cline Realtors - Milford, OH

Trying to be what I am "supposed to be" has cost me time and money. I decided a few weeks ago to stop going through rituals that do not work for me. I have wasted tons of time jumping through these hoops instead of getting out there and doing what makes me feel confident and comfortable. Thank you for the confirmation.

Aug 26, 2008 03:05 PM #15
Michael Sahlman - Keller Williams Realty - Miami Beach, FL
e-PRO - Miami Beach Florida Luxury Homes

I think you are right about not changing your personality or your strengths to become someone you are not. It makes sense. Enjoyed reading your post.

Aug 26, 2008 11:53 PM #16
Robert Rauf
HomeBridge Financial Services (NJ) - Toms River, NJ

Jennifer, it is so true.  The most important thing is to be YOURSELF! we can not change who we are and if we try to we will come across as dishonest.  Everyone needs to figure out their strengths and run with them! (and avoid the things you are not good at or dellegate them to someone else)

Aug 27, 2008 01:32 AM #17
Jimmie Graham
Keller Williams Realty - Ypsilanti, MI


I always enjoy reading your material.  You are one of my people on AR I like to read because I feel a connection from which you speak.  In this blog you are right. Be yourself and yes you will get business. Though I also believe that picking up helpful skills along without losing yourself also helps as well.  Such learning how to keep track of business, learning how build business plans, setting goals and things of such.  It's very true that people will do well in enviroments that they feel comfortable in. I admit i have stepped out of my comfort zone and I like some of it. It's not bad. It's like discovering something you never knew about yourself. I look forward to reading more good material from you. 


Have a good holiday weekend!

Aug 29, 2008 04:31 AM #18
Jennifer Allan-Hagedorn
Sell with Soul - Pensacola Beach, FL
Author of Sell with Soul

Jimmy - what you just said struck me - that as a salesperson you WILL grow and change as you are exposed to new ideas and in time, you may completely change your approach. I'm a much different agent from who I was 12 years ago - yes, I HAVE changed. However, I made changes to my business and my methods as they felt right to me, not because some guru said I had to in order to succeed...!

Aug 29, 2008 04:36 AM #19
Brandon Weber
Weber Property Group - Sacramento, CA

I can't agree more. Cookie-cutter strategies do not account for the fact that we all have different strengths. Know who you are and know your own strengths. Then, focus on your strengths.  Don't get me wrong, we should learn from both the successes and failures that have come before us, but don't try to be somebody you can't be.  You will never feel right.   You will always feel like you are faking it till you make it. Others will see you as inauthentic.

Embrace that which makes you unique, that which makes you special. Thanks for the great post!


Sep 08, 2008 10:14 AM #20
Bart Whitmore
Keller Williams- Louisville - Louisville, KY
Real Estate Agent

I agree with you, we should be what we are not what someone else wants us to be. We need to play to our strengths, the rest will take care of itself.

Sep 08, 2008 01:30 PM #21
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