
Don't speed.
Just kidding.
Trooper B.E. Hipp must be out and about, as I'm getting a lot of hits on the post I wrote about him. Even if it's not him, I can't remember the last time that I rode down Hwy. 73 in Lincolnton without seeing a cop. And this road is not easy to navigate, because it changes speed limits about 20 times (feels like it) between Lincolnton and Denver. So if you get pulled over, let me give you some advice that hedges your bets against getting a ticket.
1. Be Nice: Remember your grandmother telling you you'll catch more flies with honey than vinegar? Cops are people too (even B.E. Hipp...I think) and will respond better to a nice person than a jerk. Go a step further and stop your car, turn on your interior lights and place your hands on the steering wheel. DO NOT GET OUT OF YOUR CAR!! Cops come up on all sorts, so take the question of whether you are a dangerous thug out of the equation.
2. Be Respectful: Address the officer as "Sir" or if the officer is a woman, simply say "officer" to avoid any awkwardness.
3. Be Quiet: The cops have heard every excuse in the book. But don't admit guilt, just play dumb. Also, save the drama for your mama. Excessive emotion just makes people, including cops, nervous.
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