Cats VS. Dogs.......The Choice Is Obvious. (Re-posted from the Friday Funnies File)

By
Services for Real Estate Pros with Real Estate Pipeline, Inc.

HOW TO GIVE A PILL TO A CAT

  1. Sit on sofa. Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your elbow as though you were going to give a bottle to a baby. Talk softly to it.

  2. With right hand, position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. (be patient) As cat opens mouth pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow. Let go of cat, noticing the direction it runs.

  3. Pick the pill up off the floor and go get the cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process. Sit on floor in kitchen, wrap arm around cat as before, drop pill in mouth. Let go of cat, noticing the direction it runs.

  4. Scoot across floor to pick up pill, and go find the cat. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away. Bring it back into the kitchen. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten. Drop pill into mouth.

  5. Pry claws from back legs out of your arm. Go get the cat, pick up half-dissolved pill from floor and drop it into garbage can.

  6. Call spouse from backyard. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.  Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of closet.

  7. Retrieve cat from curtain rod, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered Doulton figures from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.

  8. Get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.

  9. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink glass of water to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

  10. Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with rubber band.

  11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put door back on hinges. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Throw T-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

  12. Call fire department to retrieve cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take another pill from foil wrap.

  13. Tie cat's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed, force cat's mouth open with small spanner. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet steak. Hold head vertically and pour one cup of water down throat to wash pill down.

  14. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call at furniture shop on way home to order new table.

  15. Arrange for SPCA to get cat and call local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.

 

HOW TO GIVE A DOG A PILL

  1. Take pill and wrap it up in bacon.

  2. Throw into the air.

 

If you would like information about www.recr.com, please contact Clint at 800-977-7058

close

This entry hasn't been re-blogged:

Re-Blogged By Re-Blogged At
Groups:
Around The Water Cooler
Club Chaos
'JACKED!!!!!
Realtors®
"Whacked"!!!
Tags:
wwwrecrcom
recr
real estate client referrals
clint miller
4063297652
8009777058
cats
dogs
cats vs dogs
how to give a cat a pill

Spam prevention
Show All Comments
Rainmaker
189,866
Clint Miller
Real Estate Pipeline, Inc. - Missoula, MT

Richard -- Thanks, man!  Much appreciated.

Aug 31, 2008 09:48 AM #7
Rainmaker
189,866
Clint Miller
Real Estate Pipeline, Inc. - Missoula, MT

Stacy -- I prefer the dog method...cats are too much work.  :-)

Aug 31, 2008 09:49 AM #8
Rainer
16,199
Stacy Jones
West Little Rock Title Company - Little Rock, AR

Clint -- I prefer the dog pill method, too; Unfortunately I had one take a bite out of me too. LOL

Aug 31, 2008 09:58 AM #9
Rainmaker
189,866
Clint Miller
Real Estate Pipeline, Inc. - Missoula, MT

Stacy -- Never been bit by a dog..Had a few threaten a time or two...But, never completed.  A cat on the other hand...Yeah, I got mauled by a cat.  lol

Sep 01, 2008 05:49 AM #10
Rainer
16,199
Stacy Jones
West Little Rock Title Company - Little Rock, AR

Clint, I think the times I've been "eaten up" by cats were far worse!! LOL -- neither scenario is good though!

Sep 01, 2008 08:31 AM #11
Rainmaker
189,866
Clint Miller
Real Estate Pipeline, Inc. - Missoula, MT

Stacy -- Cats are far worse...lol

Sep 01, 2008 09:33 AM #12
Rainer
16,199
Stacy Jones
West Little Rock Title Company - Little Rock, AR

I've got the scars to prove it!!

Sep 01, 2008 09:42 AM #13
Rainmaker
189,866
Clint Miller
Real Estate Pipeline, Inc. - Missoula, MT

Preachin to the choir, my dear...preachin to the choir...

Sep 01, 2008 11:20 AM #14
Rainer
85,784
Marianne Snygg
ERA Herman Group Real Estate - Monument, CO
ABR, ASP, GRI, SFR

OMG! You are too funny. I can so totally relate. I put my cat into the kitchen and closed both doors, no escape. However, it was a big kitchen. That cat gave me a good run for my money. Too funny!

Nov 02, 2008 01:37 PM #15
Rainmaker
189,866
Clint Miller
Real Estate Pipeline, Inc. - Missoula, MT

Marianne -- Yeah...Im not a cat fan.  Not sure if you could pick up on that by reading the post...LOL

Nov 02, 2008 11:18 PM #16
Rainer
85,784
Marianne Snygg
ERA Herman Group Real Estate - Monument, CO
ABR, ASP, GRI, SFR

Clint...it shows. But, you're a good man to try so hard. I'm a cat person, not into dogs...you have to pick up after them when you're walking them. Just what do they think when you pick up their poo?

Nov 08, 2008 01:53 PM #17
Rainmaker
189,866
Clint Miller
Real Estate Pipeline, Inc. - Missoula, MT

Marianne -- Im not sure...to be honest.  Now I have to write a new blog about that...lol

Nov 09, 2008 11:12 AM #18
Rainer
85,784
Marianne Snygg
ERA Herman Group Real Estate - Monument, CO
ABR, ASP, GRI, SFR

Clint, when you do write that blog...send out a link, I don't want to miss it!

Nov 14, 2008 11:38 AM #19
Rainmaker
189,866
Clint Miller
Real Estate Pipeline, Inc. - Missoula, MT

Marianne -- You will be the first to know. :-)

Nov 14, 2008 01:53 PM #20
Rainmaker
195,296
Tony Orefice
Wilkinson ERA/www.TonyORealtor.com - Concord, NC
Realtor/Harrisburg NC,Concord NC

Clint, that was hysterical! I don't have a cat and my dog's pills come flavor coated. She loves them.

Thanks for sharing,

Tony

Dec 02, 2008 01:33 AM #21
Rainmaker
189,866
Clint Miller
Real Estate Pipeline, Inc. - Missoula, MT

Tony -- Wow...this is an old blog...lol.  Thanks for allowing it to resurface...Glad you liked it!

Dec 02, 2008 01:34 AM #22
Anonymous
Diane Guercio

The blog that wouldn't die- Mike just linked it in to my teeny tiny post today

Sep 09, 2009 12:28 PM #23
Rainmaker
189,866
Clint Miller
Real Estate Pipeline, Inc. - Missoula, MT

Diane -- LOL!!  Thats awesome!!

Sep 09, 2009 11:51 PM #24
Rainer
96,246
Ross Therrien
Prudential Verani Realty, Londonderry,New Hampshire - Londonderry, NH
Realtor, Broker Associate

Doesn't always work that way for dogs.

One of my Labs, never a problem.  My other would eat the bacon an spit ,hack, out the pill.

 

May 19, 2010 09:42 AM #25
Rainmaker
189,866
Clint Miller
Real Estate Pipeline, Inc. - Missoula, MT

Ross...I had a dog like that...picky little cuss.

May 19, 2010 09:43 AM #26
Show All Comments

What's the reason you're reporting this blog entry?

Are you sure you want to report this blog entry as spam?

Rainmaker
189,866

Clint Miller

Ask me a question
*
*
*
*