Friday Funny...Too Funny Not To Share

Services for Real Estate Pros with Avon

I got this email this morning and found it quite hilarious and thought I would share this with everyone.  I hope you get as big of a kick out of this as I did...

If you ever feel  just a tad bit stupid...     

       (On September 17, 1994, Alabama's Heather Whitestone was selected as Miss America 1995.)

Question: If you could live forever, would you and why
Answer: 'I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever,'

-- Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest . 

'Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff.'

--Mariah Carey 

'Smoking kills.  If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life.'

-- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign.

'I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body.'

-- Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward. 

'Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.'

--Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC

'That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it.'

--A congressional candidate in Texas

  'Half this game is ninety percent mental.' 

 --Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark

'It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.'

--Al Gore, Vice President

'I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix '

-- Dan Quayle while campaigning

'We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need ?'

--Lee Iacocca 


'The word 'genius' isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.'

--Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.

'We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people.'

-- Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor . 

"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances.'
--Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina

'Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas.'

--Keppel Enderbery 

'If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record.'
--Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman

Not sure how accurate this is, but if so, it is nice to know that celebrities and even congressmen have dumb moments just like the rest of us!  Happy Friday everyone! 

The Avon Lady

Comments (7)

Bob Cumiskey
A1 Connection Realty, Inc. - Sun City Center, FL
US Army Retired, Your Sun City Center, Florida ~ Realtor

Sarah, What a hoot.  Funny how your words can come back to bite you in the butt.  Thanks for the morning laugh.

Sep 19, 2008 02:05 AM
William Feela
Realtor, Whispering Pines Realty 651-674-5999 No.

Sarah..It's funny how we can put our foot into our mouth so far!

Sep 19, 2008 02:20 AM
Northern Virginia Real Estate Photography - Bryant Payden
B. Payden Photography, LLC - Manassas, VA
Northern Virginia Real Estate Photography

LOL Sarah-

Thanks for posting and making me chuckle.

Sep 19, 2008 12:00 PM
Debbie Malone
Londeree's Real Estate & Property Management - Lynchburg, VA
From Lynchburg To The Lake (434) 546-0369

Sarah, those are very funny. Someone sent me a list that was all sports quotes, very similar in its 'dumbness'!

Sep 28, 2008 03:03 PM
Mary Strang
Viroqua, WI

Sarah, All would make wonderful quotes for the day for inspiration purposes.

Oct 04, 2008 04:32 AM
Bob Cumiskey
A1 Connection Realty, Inc. - Sun City Center, FL
US Army Retired, Your Sun City Center, Florida ~ Realtor

Sarah, Very funny.  And they say Kids say the darndest things.  Right.

Oct 04, 2008 05:42 AM
Kathleen Ann Pacheco-Corbett
(FIRST Exclusive Buyer's Office Providence-RI) - Providence, RI
Realtor, RI-MA, CEBA, Master, e-Pro, ABR, ABRM, GR

Your list is so funny. I do believe that people speak before thinking.

Dec 14, 2009 05:30 AM