I've been told that I am oddity when it comes to birthdays. I hate celebrating my birthday. I always have. I don't mind celebrating someone else's birthday, just mine. I also hate telling anyone how old I am, and will avoid a direct answer at all costs.
However, I am trying to come to terms with turning a year older... (eeks! I've even admitted to three different people what my real age is!) and I have to wonder if some of my friends and family are planning something as a surprise. Good God I hope not. My birthday is still a few weeks away, and the birthday panic has started to really set in. I don't want anyone to do anything for my birthday!
I can give a list of less than stellar occurrences that have happened on my birthday that generally make everyone understand why I don't like celebrating my birthday (like, burying my father). But the real reason is that I just don't like to. People always expect for me to explain why, and I don't like giving depressing answers, so I've decided to try a different approach. It's called sarcasm. Why 13 reasons? Because it's considered an unlucky number, and my birthday has never been lucky day for me.
I don't like celebrating my birthday because:
1) It means I have to say "thank you" over and over again all day long.
2) I would have to smile. I hate smiling. That's why I never do it.
3) Someone would give me a gift, and I would have to write a thank you card. And mail it.
4) If I went out to dinner the waiters and waitresses would sing an embarrassing birthday song.
5) If I went out to dinner they might give me my meal for free.
6) My kids would want pie, and I would have to be the one to make it.
7) It would give me a reason to eat a whole pan of brownies.
8) People would call me and blow my cell phone minutes.
9) I would be expected to take the day off.
10) My husband might give me flowers, which he only does when things are really, really bad.
11) I would have to come up with new ways how to answer, "So how old are you?"
12) My kids would give me gifts and I would have to take them shopping and pay for them.
13) Someone would tell me I look young for my age
To the two people on AR that I volunteered my age to (what was I thinking?!), if you even remember, I'll pay good money for your silence. In the meantime, a very merry un-birthday to everyone else!
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