I want to move but my foot is stuck in the front door!
As a Home Stager, I see my role as someone who can view a person's home through the buyer's perspective. My job is to guide the seller to turn their property into a real asset. Often times, however I meet with resistance. What is this all about? Doesn't everyone want to get the best dollar for their home? Why wouldn't they want to take the advice of the professionals they have available to them? This really bothered me until I entered the selling market myself.
We had lived in our house for 23 years. Like everyone else, I had collected quite a storehouse of stuff. When it came time to sort it all out and pack it up I found myself paralyzed. I was now faced with having to make myriad choices. What do I keep and what do I release? Much of it was too good to simply throw away and the other half was attached to memories and symbols of my life-passage. I was caught unaware. After all, I make choices for my clients all the time and I always felt organized and in control. Why was I having such a tough time doing it for myself?
When forced to analyze my own feelings I came to understand that the emotional attachment to the "stuff of my life" was a large part of what held me back. There were items given to me by my mom and grandma, momentoes of my son's childhood, boxes of books collected, perfectly good linens that I no longer used, boxes of, believe it or not, slides, pictures, art work......Aaaaaaagh!!!!!!!
Sanity finally prevailed so that I was able to step back and get centered. Here's what I learned and what we can share with our clients about decluttering7.
•1. Who says, "You can't take it with you"! This realization calmed me down immediately. The house we were moving into was larger than the house we were leaving, so I could pack it all up and take with. Of course I will have to have a, "I can't believe I paid to move this stuff" sale when I am settled in the new house.
•2. Another thought was, "Do I want the kids sorting through all the stuff of my life after I'm gone?" Not! This was the perfect opportunity to allow them to sort through and take what ever they wanted while I'm still here. If the children are still at home, contact family members. They may be able to use your recyclables. My sister, niece and nephew picked up a few treasures and it's fun for me to see those things being used again.
•3. My biggest obstacle was deciding what to do with perfectly good stuff that I hadn't used in years. Donate, donate, and donate. Libraries and schools took the books. Clothes went to a couple different charities that came and picked it all up. There are several charities that will also take furniture and accessories. Another place to contact is a Women's crisis center. Many women have to leave their homes with nothing but the clothes on their backs, literally. The center will let you know what they need
•4. Sometimes you just have to, "pull up the ol' bootstraps" and toss it. My son lives in another state, so we e-mailed him a picture of the pile in the basement with a caption that read, "Choose!" Three weeks later my husband took a picture of the pile at the curb side with a caption that read, "Too late!" and e-mailed that to Jeff. He loved it and we all had a good laugh. My son did not want all that special stuff I had saved for him. Get rid of it now.
•5. Because we were building our dream home, located on the other side of the State, I was too tired and stressed out to have a garage (moving) sale, but for those of you who have the time and energy, go for it. It's much better than the "I can't believe I paid to move..." scenario.
This moving experience (no pun intended) has helped me deal with and understand the resistance I've faced with clients. I am greatfull for the insights I have gained and am looking forward to sharing them further.
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