Rich Jacobson, beloved Community Builder and consummate crabber, was rushed to the hospital late last night after a daring raid on an Upper Manhattan condo left him seriously injured. Police have refused to comment, citing the ongoing investigation, but our sources claim he was violently attacked with a set of bongo drums. In an unlikely turn of events, eye witnesses claimed to have seen Matthew McConaughey streaking from the scene.
Federal investigators are still questioning inmates and staff at the facility where Rich was being held. It is thought that he simply walked out after (politely) asking the guard to open the door.
The motive for Rich's late night sortie are unknown, but many industry pundits believe he was seeking the missing Blogs link. A small but vocal minority have also suggested dementia.
This is an ongoing story… stayed tuned for live, late-breaking updates.
Update (10/11/2008 @ 3:01pm PST): Hospital officials have released Rich's condition as stable. Uncorroborated reports are suggesting that Rich's midnight incursion was successful, and that the Blogs link is due to be delivered to ActiveRain headquarters in mere minutes. A substantial crowd has gathered outside his room, waving flags and banging cowbells in celebration.
(Baffled? Read the prologue to this crazy tale at http://activerain.com/blogsview/734107/Ch-ch-ch-ch)