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On Being a Christian in a Non-Christian World - Part I

By
Real Estate Broker/Owner with Fisher & Company, P.A., Marketing & Creative Strategists

For several weeks we held a family secret with baited breath: our beautiful Samantha had passed the at home test and was just barely pregnant.  My mother would say that you are either pregnant or not. There is no barely to it.  What my mother, who died relatively young, didn't know was that someone would invent a little $12 test that could tell you the news of the pitter-patter of little feet seemingly instantaneously. This is Samantha and Ryan's first baby, so you can imagine the hopeful excitement that everything would progress beyond the first few weeks and ultimately work out for a happy ending.  Sam just recently blogged to friends and extended family that she and Ryan will be expecting their first future little Gator Nole alumnae late Spring '09.

They really are a cute couple.  They have already had an amazing storybook romance, a wedding fit for a prince and princess and they are well on their way to a storybook life.  I am crazy about them both, even if he is a Florida Gator, which makes him one of our arch rivals from the team we love to beat and suffer greatly over in defeat.  One day I will tell you the story of how I threatened to cut Samantha out of the will if she attended Florida and not Florida State.  We take football seriously in our family.  She made the right decision, went to State, and Ryan upgraded to dating a 'Nole after seeing the error of his ways and that State women are not only smarter but prettier too, inside and out.

The "kids" went to the doctor and had the first sonogram done at eight weeks.  To their surprise, they were actually able to see their baby's cheeks on the sonogram.  The doctor confirmed it for them.  Yes, those are your baby's little cheeks.  Eight weeks and we have cheeks!

I am praying hard, we all are, that everything goes okay and Sammy carries her baby to term.  We are praying hard that baby 'Nole has ten fingers and ten toes, and that he or she is a healthy, normal, perfect miracle from God. God sometimes has other ideas and other plans for each of us.  Sometimes babies aren't perfect to us, but they are perfect to God because his idea of perfect is different from ours.  I don't understand it, but that's what makes being a Christian such an amazing thing: it's sort of like working with a safety net.  You fall, but you land in the safety of His grasp.  

Can't tell you how often I have prayed for each and every child in our family by name, Samantha included, hoping that they would have a relationship with Christ and figure out that it is not about them at all. I have prayed and continue to pray that each child marries someone of faith, that they find a church that is loving to them and to others, one that is biblically based, nurturing, is reaching out to others, reflecting Christ's love for everyone, even the worst of the worst.

I am so thankful that Sam and Ryan are Christians.  With this baby on the way, they are going to need to rely upon Him now more than ever, to trust Him and trust His ways and plans for them and their baby. Along their journey, it's going to be scary at times, but they can do this through His strength and the support of family and friends, and of course the church. 

I think that the Palins, yes, those Palins, showed great courage having their baby when they knew that their baby would not be perfect in the eyes of the world. That's love.  I guess that they were also looking at their baby through the eyes of God, not man.  That's living your faith, practicing your belief, trusting in the maker of the stars and the creator of life, trusting in Him.  

As Christians, it is so easy for us to say one thing and do another.  We humans are so darn good at rationalizing everything to fit our current circumstance.  We are the masters at creating wriggle room.  Somewhere along the way, as I matured spiritually, I learned to pray daily that for that day, I would walk in His will. Sometimes it gets tough.  Often we create the biggest messes for ourselves when we step out of His will. Ever pray and have God say, not now, or flat out no? Ever try to circumvent God's will?  Painful, in the long run, isn't it?

Catholics and protestant faiths agree that biblically life begins at conception.  During this electoral period, as Christians, we need to remember that.  We can't have it our way and God's way as well if the two are in conflict.  How we must break His heart.  If he cares for the sparrow, how much more about you and I? How much more for that eight week old new creation with cheeks?  As Christians, we are a new creation in Him, and we are either Christians who are pro-life, or we are Christians who are not under God's will.  

I didn't intend to get on to the pro-life or anti-life topic today. I really am quite sick of politics at this point and I am ready to get back to blogging about real estate and marketing.  But I started thinking about those eight week old baby cheeks. And I hope you are thinking about them as well.  I hope you will vote against all abortions, and especially against partial-birth abortions.  There are better alternatives, better choices, better acts of Christian love.

May the one who strung the stars across the night sky, who was in the cave with Elijah, who walked in the garden searching for Adam and Eve, may he search for you and may you be found, and may you be found lacking for nothing.

Barb Van Stensel
Chicago, IL

I was never given a choice because I couldn't have children - not at all.  I am greatful for being the aunt to 16 awesome nephews and nieces and my life has not gone empty handed. 

While I am a believer, I would not comment or assume that the Catholics or Protestants all believe in birth control.   It is a individual choice and I agree with Vickie's  and Michael's post. 

 

Oct 28, 2008 10:56 AM
Deborah Fisher
Fisher & Company, P.A., Marketing & Creative Strategists - Fort Worth, TX

Barb, either I misunderstand you or you misread: Catholics and Protestants believe that life BEGINS at conception.  I didn't mention birth control.  

Congrats on those 16 awesome nieces and nephews!   

Oct 28, 2008 11:15 AM
Deborah Fisher
Fisher & Company, P.A., Marketing & Creative Strategists - Fort Worth, TX

Michael, chipmunk cheeks!!  LOL.  

Michael, is abortion wrong? As a spiritually mature Christian, I believe so.  

I know wonderful, bright women who have had abortions and are okay with their decision, or so they say, and others who are not so lucky. At different times in our lives we make different decisions based on our current situation.  As Christians, we need to remember that we are held to a different standard and should walk through our lives listening for the soft sound of sandals falling in step beside us.  That's when we are living our lives under God's will, not ours.  But even though we fall out of will and into disobedience, we have a loving God who pursues us in spite of our skunky selves.  And let no one mistake what I am saying: we are skunks covered by the grace of Christ's blood shed for us.

I would like women to realize that men, and my apologies to my many male friends whom I love dearly, but men will often take the path of less resistance: abortion.  The right to choose?  Women are in fact often not free to choose but are pressured to have abortions by their partners with unhappy results.  The right to choose has become a means of oppression: have an abortion or else.  I would like women to stand up and say no.  We need to eradicate the exit strategy to responsibility of parenthood and childbearing through abortion.  If you don't want to keep the child, please carry it to tewrm and put it up for adoption.  Why not make someone else's life full with the gift of birth?  For those women who to keep their child, then let's figure out a way for women to do so:  I would rather my tax dollars be used to provide women with childcare while they go to school to learn a trade or get an education than be used to fund "planned parenthood" and their numerous abortion clinics.

Please join me in voting a conservative anti-abortion ticket and especially against partial birth abortions.  We are indeed known as a society by the way we treat our most helpless.  

 

 

Oct 28, 2008 11:35 AM
Jennifer Monroe
Indigo Home Team powered by Compass - Charlotte, NC
Real Estate REALTOR®/Broker/Designer

I am very moved by your post and thought perhaps I would read and not comment. But I do want to share with you because I'd like to put to rest a few mis-perceptions held by many christians, though I have no reason to think you may be among them in this view.

First, I am not a christian. I do not believe in god. However I gave birth to my son who was very sick at birth with a heart defect and subsequently died. I chose to have this child because I preferred to know him for whatever his tenure here might be. For my own reasons. I don't believe his condition was related to anything other than the natural anomalies that sometimes accompany the elegant cellular processes that result in birth. No amount of wishing, praying or blaming would have changed this result or my decision to carry him to term. Nor would it have changed my decisions on how to manage his death. My love as his Mother dictated my choices. And even still, I am pro-choice.

What I'd like to make clear is this:  being or not being a christian is not the determining factor in determining the outcome of the birth or the decision-making that goes into choosing whether or not to carry compromised children to term. To think otherwise is narrow-minded and simply not based on facts. Christians have abortions every day and are no less christian. Non christians choose to carry difficult births to term every day. Sick children are born randomly and have nothing to do with our belief systems.

My wish for your daughter is a joyful and healthful pregnancy, delivery and child :-)

Oct 28, 2008 11:36 AM
Deborah Fisher
Fisher & Company, P.A., Marketing & Creative Strategists - Fort Worth, TX

Vickie: Amen, sister. Through God's grace and unmeasurable love.  Just ask, and it will be given. What a mighty God we serve. 

Oct 28, 2008 11:36 AM
Michael Merino
Merino's Home Inspection & Education Inc. - Oak Forest, IL
Orland Park Ill Home Inspector

I stated that abortion is wrong. But, people do have a choice. We have a choice in everything. Stealing is wrong, but I choose not to do it. It is the same with abortion. I know people like to muddy the argument with other ideas like "a woman should decide what happens with her body", and "and it is not a life yet", but that is all bullshit. The same fundemental question is "Is it right in the eyes of God?". If it is not then the choice is do not do it. They may be ok with their decision to have an abortion, but what will they say to God when they have to answer for their life choices?

We are all sinners. But, by the grace of God and the Blood of Jesus we are saved. All we have to do is ask for forgiveness and believe. God loves us no matter what we do.

Oct 28, 2008 01:01 PM
Deborah Fisher
Fisher & Company, P.A., Marketing & Creative Strategists - Fort Worth, TX

Jennifer, you are clearly a woman of great courage and great love and compassion. Not many women would do what you have done, or for that matter, be so willing to share it.  My heart goes out to you.  No one can possibly know how you feel, the bittersweetness of your joy or the depths of your sorrow at having your son for your brief moment in time together.   Thank you for sharing.

I am a lay theologian, Jen, and clearly there is not enough space in this little box on the Internet to debate the mysteries of life, of the universe, of a God or no God. 

You made an excellent point: clearly you don't have to be a Christian to make good choices.  Every day non-Christians make great choices just as Christians make both good and poor ones.  We all make both good choices and bad ones.

There is something uniquely peculiar to Christians.  We are held by non-Christians to a different standard.  What makes the non-Christians perception of Christians so skewed to wither positive or negative depends on the Christians that the non-Christians have come into contact with.  What makes us so drastically different in our behavior and actions is that we are all at different levels of spiritual maturity.  That level of maturity is what helps us to make better and better life decisions.  Some people can attend church every Sunday and still not "get it".  There are pew warmers who attend church every Sunday, but don't "get it".  There are those we affectionately refer to as CEOs.  Christmas and Easter Only (when they attend).  When you "get it" , when you understand what it really means to be a Christian, you serve the body of Christ by volunteering to teach Sunday school, feed the poor, shelter the homeless, visit the sick, love the unlovable, etcetera.  It is what we call having a servant's heart, which is what we say Christ had - it is biblically based and an illustration of this that comes to mind is when he washed the feet of the disciples.  He came to serve, not be served, and so must we.

With your permission, may I briefly share a few simple thoughts with no preaching? I would not offend you in that way so please read on. 

Have you ever studied the human eye and looked at how complex it is?  It is so amazingly complex yet brilliant! The eye provides us the ability to see faces we love and so very much more.  In fact. the entire human body is an amazing, wondrous and complex "thing".  When you stop and reflect how the whole thing works together, each organ dependent on another, working together, and so forth.  I think that your explanation that things in the knitting together of our bodies can go awry us quite appropriate.  But why? Why can and why do things run amok?

My understanding based on my life experiences is that my God, the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, the same God of the Jews, does not cause these bad things to happen. Over and over in both the old and the new testament we read about God's love for us, and yes, someone is bound to bring this up so I will mention it first: at times we read of His anger.  To this I say, what parent hasn't been angry with their child at one point or another?  While we might be angry with them, we don't stop loving them.  Might not like them very much at the moment, but we do still love them. 

So, if there is a God, and God is a loving God, why does God allow bad things to happen?  If he was a good God, wouldn't He fix everything and make everything right? Wouldn't He answer our pleadings, our prayers, our petitions for mercy? Wouldn't a kind and loving God hear our cries and give us the miracle we need? Why would someone else get their miracle, and I not get mine or you not get yours?

Truthfully, I don't know other than to say that we don't always give our kids everything that they want for many reasons.  Sometimes the best answer is yes, sometimes it is no, sometimes it is not now.  Our child may not see it that way at the moment, but we see the big picture and they don't.

Over the years I have learned that when bad things happen God always brings something good out of it if we get out of his way and let Him.  I faced huge hardship in my life and needed some pretty big miracles.  Sometimes I got the miracle.  Sometimes not.  Looking back, God used both the bad and the good to teach me lessons, and he always turned the bad bits of life into something good.  I am so much richer today because of the lessons that I learned from both the good things and the bad that have happened to me.  

As I look back over the years, God used different life events to teach me humility, compassion, love . . . you name it.  All that time, during the good and the bad, he was teaching me to trust in Him, follow His ways, walk in His will, but most of all to love Him first, others second. and self last.  By the good things and the bad things that have happened to me, I have learned to place more value on things that count, and less on things that don't.  I have learned to recognize things that matter, and ignore things that don't.  I have also learned that sometimes while he is teaching me a lesson, he is using me to teach someone around me another. The mystery of it all is to accept this and then look for the lessons!

I have also learned that if I stop and seek the Lord, he is easy to find and He draws closer and closer.  I push away, and He permits me to do so, although I think with great sadness when I do and great joy when I come to my senses and return.  (The parable of the prodigal son, for one example.)

Jennifer, thanks for your well wishes for Sam and Ryan.  She is really an amazing young woman and more than anything I pray that all goes well.  She is going to be a really great mom, and Ryan a great dad.  He is already a great son, a great brother, and a great husband and we are thrilled with Sam's choice.

In turn, Jennifer, with your permission, I will pray that you find God.  You have nothing to lose but so much peace to gain if you stumble upon Him.  It is an amazing thing that when you "get it" you will find out how truly freeing it is to hear the soft sound of the leather sandals of Christ walking beside you.

Oct 28, 2008 02:16 PM
Deborah Fisher
Fisher & Company, P.A., Marketing & Creative Strategists - Fort Worth, TX

Michael, I think you made it perfectly clear that God forgives even those women who have had an abortion. Thanks.  He loves us all.  Those women need His love and forgiveness more than we can imagine.  We all need to be whole and healed.  Thanks.

Oct 28, 2008 02:31 PM
Jennifer Monroe
Indigo Home Team powered by Compass - Charlotte, NC
Real Estate REALTOR®/Broker/Designer

You said something that I find to be profoundly true: "What makes the non-Christians perception of Christians so skewed to wither positive or negative depends on the Christians that the non-Christians have come into contact with."

I admit that I have had more unpleasant experiences with those who 'claim' their religious beliefs than with those who either hold them quietly in their hearts and or do not profess to have them. UNTIL THIS MOMENT while reading your loving and non-judgemental response to my comment. If only everyone could carry the love, acceptance and conviction you possess, we might all live a little more peacably with one another.

I would never tell another there simply is no god. I have absolutely no idea whether there is or is not. If there is, I sincerely hope I don't miss the boat by not seeing the truth before me. I have an open mind and an open heart, but I also have a logical mind and a heart that evaluates the evidence before me. My life adventure is still in progress, so I rule nothing out.

I am truly happy to have encountered you today and I sincerely value every good wish, prayer and hug that comes my way :)

Hugs to you and yours Deborah :)

 

Oct 28, 2008 02:32 PM
Deborah Fisher
Fisher & Company, P.A., Marketing & Creative Strategists - Fort Worth, TX

Jennifer, have you ever heard God's laughter? Perhaps not yet, but I pray one day you will.  He has a wicked sense of humor, and for the first time in a while I have heard Him laugh tonight.  Nothing happens by chance, Jennifer.  Nothing.  God is pursuing you.  You can't outrun Him and He will pursue you to the end.  But you have free will as to wether or not you will allow Him to catch you.  I hope that you find the desire to let go and let Him catch you.

Fellow Christians - God is so powerfully at work here --- nothing is for nothing!! Get those prayers going prayer warriors! 

Jen, keep us posted. 

Your sister in Christ,

D.

Oct 28, 2008 02:39 PM
Michael Merino
Merino's Home Inspection & Education Inc. - Oak Forest, IL
Orland Park Ill Home Inspector

Jennifer-Look around you, Is this all by accident? I am very sorry that you lost your child, I am a Father and I know how devistating it would be for me to lose one of my kids. The love you had for your child is the same love God has for you. I have the feeling that you read this blog because you have had some signs in the recent past that have drawn you to it.

I have just recently decided to return to my faith. I am a Catholic, but have not practiced in over 20 years. But, things happened in my life that drew me towards God. There is a God, I know this, I feel this. All you have to do is find a quite place, sit and relax, empty you thoughts, say these few words.."Jesus, I am lost, Please find me, I give my life to you." It is that simple. It is not easy, but it is that simple. Everyday after that pray a little prayer to God and you will feel the peace. Remember, the direction your life goes is not for you to decide, follow Jesus and he will lead you to your purpose.

As the song says "Be still and know I'm here"

Oct 28, 2008 03:28 PM
Hugh Krone
Weichert Referral Associates - Hamburg, NJ
Realtor, Sussex County NJ

Deborah , On top of everything else that was blessed about this blog I am really enjoying listening to Michael W. Smith

God Bless You

Oct 28, 2008 03:50 PM
Deborah Fisher
Fisher & Company, P.A., Marketing & Creative Strategists - Fort Worth, TX

Thanks, Hugh, unfortunately the playlist is not working fully tonight.  I had hoped that Chris Rice's Untitled Hymn (Come to Jesus) would play first.  Don't know if you have heard it, but I had selected it as the first song prior to getting Jennifer's comment:

The words go:

Weak and wounded sinner 
Lost and left to die 
O, raise your head, for love is passing by 
Come to Jesus 
Come to Jesus 
Come to Jesus and live! 

Now your burden's lifted 
And carried far away 
And precious blood has washed away the stain, so 
Sing to Jesus 
Sing to Jesus 
Sing to Jesus and live! 

And like a newborn baby 
Don't be afraid to crawl 
And remember when you walk 
Sometimes we fall...so 
Fall on Jesus 
Fall on Jesus 
Fall on Jesus and live! 

Sometimes the way is lonely 
And steep and filled with pain 
So if your sky is dark and pours the rain, then 
Cry to Jesus 
Cry to Jesus 
Cry to Jesus and live! 

O, and when the love spills over 
And music fills the night 
And when you can't contain your joy inside, then 
Dance for Jesus 
Dance for Jesus 
Dance for Jesus and live! 

And with your final heartbeat 
Kiss the world goodbye 
Then go in peace, and laugh on Glory's side, and 
Fly to Jesus 
Fly to Jesus 
Fly to Jesus and live! 

If you have not heard this song, Hugh, check it out on iTunes.  Powerful. Chris Rice is so gifted, and his acoustic guitar quietly playing as he sings these amazing words . . . well, it's just breathtaking simplistic beauty.

Thanks for the comment, Hugh. God works in mysterious ways, and His ways are not our ways.  There are no coincidences.  I feel as though I have been spiritually refreshed from this post tonight. Doesn't get any better than that - Other than hearing back from Jennifer that she has drunk from the same water that we have. 

Go with God, Hugh. Stay safe. Keep the faith. Love others to love Christ. Pray hard, and when you look down, may you see two sets of footprints dancing together in the sand.

Oct 28, 2008 04:20 PM
Alexander Harb
Knights Investing - Mesquite, TX
Dallas, Texas Real Estate Investing

I am so glad you posted this in,"Christianity and Real Estate"

Your stand for the unborn is made without anger or a holier than thou attitude...and for that I am thankful.

May the Lord BLESS you, your family and your business!!!

 

BTW...I will be voting for McCain.... he is the lessor of the two evils on the electoral ticket.
Both candidates have bad things to each of their ways of handling things......

I would have voted for Huckabee if he had secured a nomination......

 

It looks like Sneator Palin is going to be the future of the GOP if McCain and she loose this election...

I trust she will do great things for the republican party AND hopefully for this nation!

 

Oct 30, 2008 06:48 AM
Deborah Fisher
Fisher & Company, P.A., Marketing & Creative Strategists - Fort Worth, TX

Alexander, thanks for the positive feedback and especially the blessings!  For those blessings I am ever so grateful!

Perhaps as sane, level-headed, convicted Christians we can work toward eliminating abortion as a means of birth control and instead provide realistic and feasible solutions, such as adoption, educational programs in our cities and towns that make sense for pregnant women and mothers so that they can learn skills and trades, or for those bright enough and who choose to do so, get a formal education; then we must wrap those programs with childcare and "foster" grandparents so that the children will have someone to love them and teach them while Mom is studying and learning to provide for herself and her baby.  We have got to help women break out of the mindset and repression of being poor, and that is going to take more than learning a trade, a skill, or through a formal education.  

I know, I am sounding like a liberal.  This is not a liberal or conservative problem, this a national problem.  We just need some level headed people to sit down and brainstorm some ideas. We have a lot of bright people in this country.  If we can get a man to the moon and build a space station I am sure that we can figure this out.  

But the first step is to STOP abortion as the only means to an end so that we will be forced to take those tax dollars and put them to better use. 

I am surprised that no one has mentioned that if abortions were illegal women would have unsafe "back-alley" abortions instead.  Things are different today. Unmarried pregnant women are no longer shunned by society and families are no longer embarrassed.  I know that Catholics do not believe in birth control, yet for non-catholics there are a multitude of birth control products on the market.  Today, more than any other time in history, other than abstinence and vasectomies, there are alternatives to abortion and unplanned pregnancies. 

I encourage Christians to vote for conservative approaches and alternatives to abortion.

 

Oct 30, 2008 07:56 AM
Titanium Real Estate
Titanium Real Estate, Ltd. - Naples, FL

Deborah:

This is exciting to see a baby through a sonogram.  It is like seeing an actual miracle of God.  How anyone can vote to abort is beyond me.  What is worse is for someone to call themself a Christian and then vote for infanticide or abortion.

Oct 30, 2008 09:33 AM
Deborah Fisher
Fisher & Company, P.A., Marketing & Creative Strategists - Fort Worth, TX

Titanium: Thanks for your comment.  - I don't think that you can be a TRUE Christian - one following in the steps of Christ - and vote for anyone running for office who is proponent of abortion.  It just seems to be contrary to God & Christian principles.  We may each stumble and fall, but we must strive to walk in God's will, and the answer to abortion is pretty simple: just vote NO.  

Thanks for sharing your thoughts with me and those following this post.

 

Oct 31, 2008 02:58 AM
Gregory Lohr
West Columbia, SC

In relation to the first few comments, I have known a number of people in my life who have had abortions.  Some of them felt they had to.  How sad.  They all have felt it deep inside for many years afterward, a burden hard to bear.

Before I accepted Christ as my Savior, I felt I lived a fairly moral life.  But I also felt it was each person's choice as to whether or not to bring a child into the world, which meant they should be able to end that life.  THEN, shortly after my baptism, this issue was brought up in discussion in a casual conversation, and I realized that my previous viewpoint was no longer a view I could hold onto.  I realized that life did begin at conception, not with that first breath.  I came to believe that abortion was not a choice, it was a life, or to be more accurate, a life that someone chose to end.

I've heard stories of Christian women who have been raped, became pregnant, and raised the child.  How marvelous is their faith and how blessed is that child to have a Christian mother, who in the face of trials made a choice for life!

Having had two children, & now two grandchildren, I know that children are a blessing from God.  You and your family are about to receive the blessing of a birth, of a most precious gift from above, may He watch over you and may this child serve Him until the Lord comes!

Rejoice In The Lord Always!

Oct 31, 2008 11:21 AM
Heather Goodwin
Licensed by the Louisiana Real Estate Commission - Shreveport, LA
Results That Move You

What a great post and a great thread of comments.  I was raised as a pew potato.  Pew potatoes think it is the going to church that makes them a Christian or teaching the Sunday school that makes them a Christian.  That is just not so, although they would argue adamantly with anyone that they are indeed Christians.

As my pastor says, it's not perfection, but direction.  Are we living as servants to other people, reflecting Christ's love into their lives, doing all to the glory of God the best we know how?  Are we stagnant or always trying to learn more what it means to be like Christ?  to love more, serve more, give more.

Christianity is not a list of do's and don'ts.  That's what the Pharisees were basing their righteousness on.  It's about a relationship with God and with the people he puts in our paths.

God bless you - Grandma!

Oct 31, 2008 01:29 PM
Deborah Fisher
Fisher & Company, P.A., Marketing & Creative Strategists - Fort Worth, TX

Greg,

I had to write another blog in response to your comment. Thanks, Greg. Thanks for making me think about how we end up at each mile post along the journey of life,

Oct 31, 2008 01:31 PM