Caution: Transporting Children While Macking Hoes

Real Estate Agent with DASH - A Real Estate Company

I don’t know about you, but 20 years ago this is the guy I wanted taking me home from St. Michael the Archangel (Home of the Crusaders), a catholic school for those holier than thou.

Interlude: My fellow Crusaders, do you realize that for 8 years of our innocent live-inside-a-bubble youth we proudly wore the word “CRUSADERS” across our chest during Physical Education? I feel dirty.

As a matter of fact, I want my parents’ tuition money back, Father Paz.

Sister Carolyn, you were the best principle ever. I remember when you were my substitute teacher one year. I think it was 7th grade. It was one of the funnest days ever. You couldn’t control the students. That was the day I lost what little respect I had left for you. I love the way you used to twirl the back of your hair around while you would speak publicly to the students. It was of way of saying “I feel so insecure right now”. You were nice and soft spoken, though. I appreciate that.

Sister Mary Gil, keep your hands to yourself. If you were to try that now, you’d get your a*s handed to you. Kids nowadays don’t play. You think you got authority cause you’re an adult? Try again. Mary (can I call you that?), I always wondered who your barber was? He would hook you up with the illest flattops, square sideburns and all. I was so jealous.

Parents, the gentleman driving this Chevrolet Express not only assures your child’s safe return from school, he offers a lesson that can only be rivaled by the after school program held every afternoon on the southeast corner of SR 441 and Miami Gardens Drive.

Your children don’t want the oh-so-boring Maranatas, Franmars, and Carlos & Susanas of the world. Give ‘em what they want. Give ‘em the guy who uses caution when transporting children while macking hoes.

Photo Credit: Manuel “Manolete” Vidal

Adrian Salgado is a Realtor Associate in Miami, FL and can be reached at 305-491-7179 or

Comments (8)

Betina Foreman
WJK Realty - Austin, TX
Realtor, C.N.E., with WJK REALTY

Does anyone else find it odd that a Church van would have a Playboy bunny logo on the window?!? What are you teaching your children?!?

Nov 01, 2008 02:45 AM
Pat Champion
John Roberts Realty - Eustis, FL
Call the "CHAMPION" for all your real estate needs

Things have sure changed.  We have to be careful when children are involved I can't believe this was on that van.

Nov 01, 2008 02:52 AM
Richard Dolbeare
Retired - Wailuku, HI
Living the Hawaii Lifestyle

It's early in Hawaii and my eyes aren't open enough to read all the text.  But I understand the picture which seems really strange.


Nov 01, 2008 04:23 AM
Cassie Lane
Kennewick Richland (and West) Pasco WA Homes For Sale - Pasco, WA
509.438.9344 -

"Give ‘em the guy who uses caution when transporting children while macking hoes."

Too funny!

Nov 05, 2008 01:27 AM
Carlos Medina

I love that you mentioned Sister Mary-Gill.  If there is a hell, that evil, rotten, spawn of the devil is ruling over it.  I'm 47 now, and I still remember the beatings she gave students; I have yet to meet a worse piece of meat than that non-human creature.  It's amazing someone like that was allowed to be around children.  Today, she'd be in jail or eliminated by some irate parent.

Jun 24, 2010 01:41 PM
Adrian Salgado
DASH - A Real Estate Company - Coral Gables, FL

Ha, ha! Carlos, I think a Sister Mary Gil is no longer relevant in today's society. However, I will say this, she kept that classroom in check. I don't recall any misbehavior in her classroom. I never fell victim to one of her beatings, but never agreed that physical punishment from a teacher was the best way to "lead" a group of 4th graders. Times <------ they've changed. I'm just not sure it's for the better (as far as formal education is concerned).

Jun 25, 2010 06:34 AM
Sister Mary Gill
Manolete, thanks to me you speak some understandable English and nobody found out about you and Juan behind the portables during the Easter Egg hunt. Yes , I remember everything. So stop complaining and get to work, let's see some elbow grease. Sister MG
Dec 28, 2010 01:03 AM

I came upon this blog after a Google search. Thinking about sending my young daughter to Catholic school, which made me think of my own experience so many years ago (I am 38 now) with Sister Mary Gill at St. Michael's in Miami. Amazing that some of you would have the same unpleasant memories of her that I do. I recall her whacking me with a ruler when I would not give up the name of a classmate who had passed a note to another student; I remember her saying to a young kid who had just arrived from Cuba that he needed to "learn to speak English like an American"; and I remember her telling a young Cuban-American black girl (she was the only black girl in our class) that she "spoke like a nigger." I was only 10 or 11, and even I knew all of those things were deeply wrong. As for keeping discipline in the classroom, this to me falls under "Mussolini kept the trains running on time." In other words, true but irrelevant.

Sep 18, 2012 03:52 AM