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Confessions of a New Century Casualty - Part Five

By
Mortgage and Lending with thefundingshop.com

The age of decadence.  I think that's now how I will refer to my days at New Century.  This installment in the series is going to be a little fun if nothing else.  None of what I am about to write is either embellished or untrue.  It's almost laughable how true it is...

 I think it was our 2nd year when we attended our first New Century national sales conference.  This was NOT President's Club - this was a general conference with no production requirements to attend.  As a matter of fact some internal staff was included.  The reason for clarifying this is because a prudent company would never have put on such an extravagant and costly display as did New Century for this event.

Here's the deal.  We all boarded flights bound for Miami where we stayed overnight on the Norwegian Cruise Line ship Princess of the Sea (or some stupid name like that I can't remember).  Anyway, we got to the ship, sat through some stupid sexual harrassment seminar the whole time I thinking ‘is this a fricking joke'?  Don't they know who my boss is?  He runs his whole region based on sexual harrassment - and I don't mean in a good way.   The seminar ended.  We ate a late dinner, and got ready to go topside.

Two thousand plus New Century employees boarded that ship designed to accommodate nearly five thousand people.  New Century had chartered the ship and we were its only occupants.  We had the place to ourselves.  The significance of this fact will be revealed later.

The subprime work-force is a very young contingent.  They are also a hard-partying contingent - present company excluded.  My wife and I are more health nuts than partiers.  We do enjoy a good beer or glass of wine but that's pretty much it.  So we're on a boat and even before we've cast off the booze is flowing.  Jeanine and I changed in our cabin and headed up toward the pool deck to check things out.  Up some stairs, into an elevator, and out through a large set of sliding glass doors we emerged onto the pool deck.  It was an incredibly balmy Miami evening.  Warm, salt air, a good headwind cooling things down on the pool deck I thought to myself - this isn't bad.  Why'd I try to get out of this?

 The pool deck was surrounded by two thousand plus people laughing and shouting and carrying-on music blasting guys and girls in the pool and laying out everyone with a drink in their hand the party was ON!  Jeanine and I said what the hell - we're stuck on this boat for a couple of days we may as well enjoy it.  We each grabbed a beer - not complimentary by the way.  We had to pay for it.  We headed over to the jacuzzi and climbed in with the gang.

 So the party raged on that night as the Princess of the Sea steamed southeast toward the Carribean.  Jeanine and I called it a night at about 10:00pm.  From what we heard the next day other than a few boob flashes the party was pretty tame.  Just a lot of booze and bull.

So the next day arrives and we're anchored off of some tiny private island Norwegian owns.  It's a place where they can shuttle passengers back and forth so the poor saps can say they went to a private island down in the Carribean.  We'd been given instructions to go to the main theatre or whatever the hell it was by 9:00am that morning. So the collectively hung over New Century contingent herded like cattle into this floating auditorium.

What came next is the crux of this post.  The president of the company gets up on stage and after rambling on about how New Century was the second coming of Christ he pulls back the curtain to reveal the surprise.  It seems New Century had commandeered Tom Arnold and John Salley to emcee a mortgage version of The Best Damn Sports Show, complete with a knock-off stage set, all just for New Century.

 Now I have to admit - I haven't laughed that hard in years.  Tom Arnold, uncensored dropping F-bombs every other word with John Salley laying into the all-white audience and poking fun at every set of implants he could find was pretty damn funny.  I've attended a few corporate junkets before but nothing like this.  It was truly over the top.

So the show was great and everybody laughed and that was pretty much the end of the official stuff for the trip.  It was still before noon I think and they started filling up ship to shore boats.  Two thousand people crammed onto this tiny island and proceeded to participate in ‘bonding' events like raft building and racing, stupid obstacle courses, and I don't even remember what the third group was subjected to.  Whatever, it was meaningless and all we knew was the bar was open - New Century did pick up the tab on the island.  Everybody got obliterated.

Jeanine and I snuck away on a tandem kayak and paddled for another cay just across a protected bay where a couple of sailboats were moored.  The paddle must have been about two miles.  It put us well out of range of the New Century crowd.  With not a soul around we hung out on this tiny beach until we heard the horn blow meaning it was time for everyone to make their way back to the island.  Catamarans and wave runners and windsurfers and kayaks all came scurrying back.  We tethered onto the back of a cat and hitched a tow back to the island.

We went back to the boat, changed, ate dinner.  There was a big party that night as the ship steamed north toward Miami.  Jeanine and I actually spent our time outside, walking around the ship.  I wish I could tell you more about a bunch of dirty secrets from that trip but there just aren't any.

The lesson though is this - New Century wasted a ton of money on a lavish trip to the Carribean - and they do it all the time.  There was absolutely no benefit derived.  Maybe the New Century brass got to pat themselves on the back a bit and hand out some awards.  What a crock.  They could have done that through email and an office visit.

One funny thing to note - remember when I mentioned that the bar was not complimentary, that we had to pay for our own drinks?  Well, when the Norwegian captain accepted the charter he did it reluctantly as the ship would only be half full and he could only expect half the liquor sales, on which evidently the crew's bonus is based.  Anyway, as we were steaming toward Miami that night the captain gets on the intercom and announces to everyone that a ship carrying half the normal amount of passengers had just doubled the liquor sales of what a full ship normally generated for a weekend cruise and we weren't even done yet.  Now I don't what that means exactly - but the entire crowd erupted in a huge cheer...

Fred Griffin Florida Real Estate
Fred Griffin Real Estate - Tallahassee, FL
Licensed Florida Real Estate Broker

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Feb 06, 2018 09:44 PM