The Silent Ranks - Military Wives

First, just let me say, "Happy Veteran's Day" to all of the men and women who have served, as well as those who are still serving this great nation.  Although it just does not seem to be enough, I'd also like to say, "Thank you" to them, but also to their familes who are serving in thier own special way, too.

There is something about inspirational little poems and sayings that really get to me, but more importantly that get me through. When I gave up a career to stay home and raise my kids, I saw the poem ‘100 years from now.'  You know the one... "One hundred years from now it will not matter what my clothes looked like nor what kind of car I drove, but the world may be a little better because I was important in the life of a child." I purchased a framed copy and hung it over my son's  changing table. As much and as long as I wanted a baby, and as much of a preference it was for me to stay home, I still missed working outside the house. I missed the money, dressing in nice clothes, being good at something, and having that quiet time to myself to hear a whole song, uninterrupted,  in the car on the way to work. I read that poem every time I changed a diaper for the entire first year of my son's life. I did it to remind myself that I was doing something important, something that really mattered. It was for the good of my child, for the good of my family, and quite frankly, for the good of society. I honestly believe that children whose parents have taken that extra time to be with them, to teach them right from wrong, that teach them to be independent and just plain old good citizens will do better for themselves and society as a whole. Don't get me wrong. I am well aware of what a privelege it was just to be able to have the choice. My mom was not so lucky. I was the latch key kid of a single mom, who turned out just fine, if I do say so myself.  I think it is the quality of time you spend vs the quantity. I think that serving in the military must be like that. A job you are honored to do, that is truly good for society, but tough, and a job you gave up a lot to do. And, thankless. Children are too young to know to thank their moms for all of the work they do. But, we, as adult Americans, are not too young to realize that a Thank You might go a long way to all service members.  

Another poem that really got to me and that helped get me through was one about military wives, called ‘The Silent Ranks.' There is a line in it that states, "I'm not the one who fires the weapon, or puts my life upon the line, but my job is just as tough for I'm the one that's left behind."   Most know that to say being a mom is tough work is an understatement. Quite frankly, it has made every other job I have ever held seem like a piece of cake.  But, to say being a military wife is rough, is so far past being an understatement, that I fail to be able to even articulate it. I've seen my husband come and go many times. Some tours were before kids and some after. Pre 9-11, I considered myself a military wife. Today, I am a soldier's wife.  He's been gone for as little as four months at a shot and for as long as a year. Having to make so many decisions (and there are a lot that have to be made in a year) without your spouse can be extremely stressful... especially those regarding medical decisions for your children. Military wives have to make decisions like whether or not kids should have surgery and whether or not they should take new medications, like those for ADHD. We've had to be the one to hold the kids when they miss their daddy so much that they get physically sick. We've had to come up with different solutions to help them get through. We used to go outside and blow kisses at the moon before going to bed every night because we knew that no matter how far away he was, that that was the same moon that daddy was seeing. We also have to be innovative and come up with things like putting dad's cologne on one of his shirts and dress a favorite, large teddy bear in that shirt for our daughters to sleep with so that she could pretend he was there. One thing that always helped us to get through was to always set a healthy goal for ourselves to show off to dad when he returned. One year my son's goal was to be able to ride his bike, with no training wheels, by the time his dad returned.  It gave my son something new to focus on... and, yes, he did it!  We know how upsetting it is to be cut off, on your allotted 20 minute phone call, before time was even up, simply due to a bad connection..., one that you managed to get despite the time differences... all before you had the chance to say "I love you" or "I miss you." And most importantly, We know how it cuts to the bone to hear someone say, "Well, you knew he was in the military when you married him."  

All that said, though, this military spouse thing is not a burden. It is an honor. I've never been so proud to stand beside someone in my life. People often stop me when I speak about our travels from back when we were in full time. They almost always ask, "Oh, so you were in too?" Yes, I tell them, I was just among The Silent Ranks.  

So, when you are out and about today, enjoying sales and other special events that have nothing to do with honoring the military, enjoy yourself and get your good deals but remember what today is really about. Take a moment to say a prayer for those still standing watch, thank a vet, and don't forget the wives and children left behind fighting their good fight, too!