It was the perfect family. Charming husband, beautiful wife, two amazing kids.
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| Happy Little Family |
They had just bought a house in a nice well established neighborhood and were putting the finishing touches on their remodel projects. Dad thought he had it all. The only thing that could make it better would be a new baby. He had been trying to talk his wife into having another child for some time and she was not interested.
Well one day as Dad was relaxing on the couch Mom came in to give him some big news.
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| Lazy Dad |
"There is going to be a new addition to the family."
"A baby? We are having a baby? I am so excited", said Dad, "This is going to be great. We can turn the office into a nursery...."
"A baby?", Mom interupted. "I don't think so. I told you, we are done."
"Then what are you talking about?"
"A puppy!"
"What? A puppy? I don't think so."
"I want a puppy. The kids will love her."
"I don't care. We don't need a puppy. We are not home enough. The kids aren't ready for the responsibility."
"At best a puppy just lies around on the furniture. We have kids for that."
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| Lazy Kids |
"I am the chief here and what I say goes. We are not getting a puppy."
...Four weeks later...
"A puppy! Thanks Dad! Thanks Mom! She is soo cute!" the kids exclaimed.
"I'm glad you like her." said Dad. "But you are going to have to take care of her. I'm not tending to that dog."
"Oh Dad. Don't be mean."
So that is how the perfect family became the perfect family plus a puppy. But I have to admit. It was a really cute puppy. A free English Bulldog for the Mississippi State family. What a deal!
So time goes by and the puppy grows, and poops, and chews, and poops, and chews some more. Dad does all he can to train the pup, who became his after she grew out of the cute puppy stage. Eventually they get past the worst of it and the little pup is potty trained and no longer eats the cabinets and furniture. Great.
Next thing you know the family decides to upgrade the house. Its been two years and they can now cash out without tipping the KGB, er I mean IRS. Even though they recently remodeled there are a few maintenance items.
Dad looks it all over and comes up with a list of things that need replacing.
Carpets needs deep cleaning to remove remaining potty training stains - $100
In one room the carpet needs replacing because the cute little pup chewed a hole in it - $400
Door trim needs replacing in three rooms, chewing - $250
Bathroom cabinets needs extensive putty and paint work in attempt to repair chew damage - $100
Bathroom door needs replacing due to scratch marks from when the pup was kept there (because she cries when you put her in her crate). - $150
New couch, chewing - $1000
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| Large chew toy |
Then in the backyard, fill in holes from digging, resod to repair damage to grass, replant dug up flower bed - $400
Replace exterior door trim on back door, chewing - $100
So the free puppy ended up costing $2500. Great bargain! Speaking of bargains, email me for a great deal on my chief head dress
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