Glossary of realtor puffery terms

Real Estate Agent with The Keyes Company

Spacious - average

Charming - small

Comfortable - very small

Cozy - very, very small

Low maintenance - no lawn

Walk to stores - nowhere to park your car

Prestgious - expensive

Bright and sunny - venetian blinds not included

Townhouse - former tenement

Modern - 30 to 40 years old

Contemporary - at least 15 years old

Sprawling ranch - inefficient floor plan

Natural setting - forget about planting, the deer will eat everything

Secluded setting - far away

Executive neighborhood - high taxes

Near houses of worship - fanatical denomination next door

Park-like setting - a tree on the block

Unaffected charm - needs painting

Starter home - run down

Hurry! Won't last - about to collapse

And much, much more - nothing else comes to mind

needs some TLC = total wreck, don't even bother...."  by Chrissy Harrison

Easy access -"sits right on the damn highway"

Unobstructed view  - "not  a tree within ten miles"  by James Frazier



Comments (15)

Peggy Edwards
Future Home Realty - Westchase, FL
REALTOR - Green Designation, e-PRO, Tampa Bay, FL
Apr 19, 2007 11:11 AM
Olan Carder
Fairway Independent Mortgage - Charlotte, NC

This is really funny!!  I am going to send my Realtor friends to this to read.  They will get a real kick out of it.  We lenders have terms like that too...

Slam Dunk - It'll never close!

Needs a little work - credit so bad their mom wouldn't lend them money!

No problem - postpone closing 2 weeks!

Apr 19, 2007 11:15 AM
Debi Braulik - Maple Valley, WA
Selling Maple Valley to Fife WA Homes For Sale
Good ones. And I like the lender terms too. I will have to be on the look out for them.
Apr 19, 2007 11:18 AM
Leslie Godbold
WZGM AM1350 Independent Asheville Radio - Asheville, NC
Motivation Speaker, Radio host "Positively Living"

Ben thank you for the translations. I appreciate a good laugh.


Apr 19, 2007 11:20 AM
Ben Gwilliam
The Keyes Company - Fort Lauderdale, FL

o and I forgot

YOU'LL LOVE IT - No, you won't.

MUST SEE TO BELIEVE - An absolutely accurate statement. 

Apr 19, 2007 11:37 AM
Chrissy Harrison
Referral Only Realty - Longmont, CO
LOL - Good post! How about "needs some TLC = total wreck, don't even bother...."
Apr 19, 2007 11:49 AM
Antoinette Scognamiglio, GRI, ASP
Coldwell Banker Realty - Mountain Lakes, NJ
There's no substitute for EXPERIENCE!

That was rich.  Thanks Ben!

The very first run down dump I listed was granted this description:

"Wow! What a mess!  Perfect for the buyer with lots of energy and willing to roll up their sleeves for some grunt work!  Bring your'll need them!"

Down market, no problem.  Under contract in 6 days.  :)


Apr 19, 2007 11:52 AM
Melody Young
Milestone Motoring - Auto Broker/Dealer - Westlake Village, CA
Auto Broker-Milestone Motoring
Thanks for my laugh of the day.  Realtor puffery is a language all its own,
Apr 19, 2007 11:54 AM
Inga Czech
Assurity Financial Services - Simi Valley, CA
FHA California Loan Officer
Funny and true!!!  Love it keep these coming.
Apr 19, 2007 12:08 PM
Margaret Woda
Long & Foster Real Estate, Inc. - Crofton, MD
Maryland Real Estate & Military Relocation

'Had to chuckle at this!  Thanks for sharing.


Apr 19, 2007 12:14 PM
Rita Taylor
None - Sanford, NC
Sanford NC Real Estate - Homes for Sale in Sanford North Carolina

"Handyman Special" - you'll need a team of contractors for 6 months to make it habitable


Apr 19, 2007 12:34 PM
Vickie Arcuri
ONE Sotheby's International Realty - Fort Lauderdale, FL
South Florida Luxury Real Estate
This was really funny...thanks for the post :)
Apr 19, 2007 01:46 PM
James Frazier
James Frazier Personal Development Coach - Rockford, IL

Here are a couple more-

Easy access -"sits right on the damn highway"

Unobstructed view  - "not  a tree within ten miles"

Apr 19, 2007 02:44 PM
Bob Force (REALTORĀ®)
Weichert Realtors - Aspen Hill - Mount Airy, MD
The FORCE in Maryland Real Estate
Years ago I learned how to lie with STATISTICS, now it is paint the scene with words.
Apr 19, 2007 02:57 PM
Maureen Graziano
Third Eye Home Staging - West Islip, NY
Very funny! So true, it's all about spin.
Apr 20, 2007 01:11 AM