Glossary of realtor puffery terms

By
Real Estate Agent with The Keyes Company

Spacious - average


Charming - small


Comfortable - very small


Cozy - very, very small


Low maintenance - no lawn


Walk to stores - nowhere to park your car


Prestgious - expensive


Bright and sunny - venetian blinds not included


Townhouse - former tenement


Modern - 30 to 40 years old


Contemporary - at least 15 years old


Sprawling ranch - inefficient floor plan


Natural setting - forget about planting, the deer will eat everything


Secluded setting - far away


Executive neighborhood - high taxes


Near houses of worship - fanatical denomination next door


Park-like setting - a tree on the block


Unaffected charm - needs painting


Starter home - run down


Hurry! Won't last - about to collapse


And much, much more - nothing else comes to mind

needs some TLC = total wreck, don't even bother...."  by Chrissy Harrison

Easy access -"sits right on the damn highway"

Unobstructed view  - "not  a tree within ten miles"  by James Frazier

 

 

Comments (15)

Peggy Edwards
Future Home Realty - Westchase, FL
REALTOR - Green Designation, e-PRO, Tampa Bay, FL
:)
Apr 19, 2007 11:11 AM
Olan Carder
Fairway Independent Mortgage - Charlotte, NC

This is really funny!!  I am going to send my Realtor friends to this to read.  They will get a real kick out of it.  We lenders have terms like that too...

Slam Dunk - It'll never close!

Needs a little work - credit so bad their mom wouldn't lend them money!

No problem - postpone closing 2 weeks!

Apr 19, 2007 11:15 AM
Debi Braulik
www.roundrealestate.com - Maple Valley, WA
Selling Maple Valley to Fife WA Homes For Sale
Good ones. And I like the lender terms too. I will have to be on the look out for them.
Apr 19, 2007 11:18 AM
Leslie Godbold
WZGM AM1350 Independent Asheville Radio - Asheville, NC
Motivation Speaker, Radio host "Positively Living"

Ben thank you for the translations. I appreciate a good laugh.

Leslie

Apr 19, 2007 11:20 AM
Ben Gwilliam
The Keyes Company - Fort Lauderdale, FL

o and I forgot

YOU'LL LOVE IT - No, you won't.

MUST SEE TO BELIEVE - An absolutely accurate statement. 

Apr 19, 2007 11:37 AM
Chrissy Harrison
Referral Only Realty - Longmont, CO
LOL - Good post! How about "needs some TLC = total wreck, don't even bother...."
Apr 19, 2007 11:49 AM
Antoinette Scognamiglio, GRI, ASP
Coldwell Banker Realty - Mountain Lakes, NJ
There's no substitute for EXPERIENCE!

That was rich.  Thanks Ben!

The very first run down dump I listed was granted this description:

"Wow! What a mess!  Perfect for the buyer with lots of energy and willing to roll up their sleeves for some grunt work!  Bring your contractors...you'll need them!"

Down market, no problem.  Under contract in 6 days.  :)

Antoinette

Apr 19, 2007 11:52 AM
Melody Young
Milestone Motoring - Auto Broker/Dealer - Westlake Village, CA
Auto Broker-Milestone Motoring
Thanks for my laugh of the day.  Realtor puffery is a language all its own,
Apr 19, 2007 11:54 AM
Inga Czech
Assurity Financial Services - Simi Valley, CA
FHA California Loan Officer
Funny and true!!!  Love it keep these coming.
Apr 19, 2007 12:08 PM
Margaret Woda
Long & Foster Real Estate, Inc. - Crofton, MD
Maryland Real Estate & Military Relocation

'Had to chuckle at this!  Thanks for sharing.

 

Apr 19, 2007 12:14 PM
Rita Taylor
None - Sanford, NC
Sanford NC Real Estate - Homes for Sale in Sanford North Carolina

"Handyman Special" - you'll need a team of contractors for 6 months to make it habitable

Rita 

Apr 19, 2007 12:34 PM
Vickie Arcuri
ONE Sotheby's International Realty - Fort Lauderdale, FL
South Florida Luxury Real Estate
This was really funny...thanks for the post :)
Apr 19, 2007 01:46 PM
James Frazier
James Frazier Personal Development Coach - Rockford, IL

Here are a couple more-

Easy access -"sits right on the damn highway"

Unobstructed view  - "not  a tree within ten miles"

Apr 19, 2007 02:44 PM
Bob Force (REALTORĀ®)
Weichert Realtors - Aspen Hill - Mount Airy, MD
The FORCE in Maryland Real Estate
Years ago I learned how to lie with STATISTICS, now it is paint the scene with words.
Apr 19, 2007 02:57 PM
Maureen Graziano
Third Eye Home Staging - West Islip, NY
Very funny! So true, it's all about spin.
Apr 20, 2007 01:11 AM