21 Complex Economic Models explained with Cows

By
Real Estate Agent with Keller Williams Elite Realty, Port Coquitlam, BC 27-01262

Happy Cow

SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour.


COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk.


FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State shoots you, takes both and sells you some milk.


NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you.


BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away...


TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.


SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons

SCIENTOLOGY CORPORATION 
You have cows, the number doesnt matter, the world is coming to an end and only Hollywood Celebrities can save it, so you give your cows and everthing else you own to the corporation run by a guy who has  been dead for years to take a never ending series of Dianetics Courses.


AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.

ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.
You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States , leaving you with nine cows.
No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public then buys your bull.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and market it worldwide.



A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.
You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you and invade your country.
You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of  " Democracy.... "  



AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive.

 

 

Scott Leaf Real Estate Marketing & Associates

Keller Williams Results Realty

www.whatismyhomesvalue.ca

www.scottleaf.com

 

Posted by

Scott Leaf - Keller Williams Elite Realty

Real Estate Board of Greater Vancouver

Medallion Presidents Club 2014 Top 1% Homes Sold

Top 100 Realtor Homes Sold 2015-2017

Medallion Club 2010-2017

 

Coquitlam, Port Coquitlam, Pitt Meadows, Maple Ridge, Langley, River Springs and surrounding areas Realtor 


 

 

Comments (17)

Katerina Gasset
Get It Done For Me Virtual Services - Wellington, FL
Get It Done For Me Virtual Services

Scott- New Zealand and Australia for real are looking pretty good right about now. I know US citizens who are moving there.

Seriously, this is SO funny and cute!  My way is the Capitalism way!

Nov 21, 2008 02:44 PM
Scott Leaf Personal Real Estate Corporation
Keller Williams Elite Realty, Port Coquitlam, BC - Port Coquitlam, BC
Scott Leaf & Associates Real Estate Team

Katerina if I can hang out with Travolta and his Posee I'd seriously consider Scientology! :)

You & Nestor should come up here, things aren't so bad and we have a little project we've been working on called the Winter Olympics coming in 2 year.

Nov 21, 2008 03:01 PM
Mick Michaud
Distinctly Texas Lifestyle Properties, LLC Office:682/498-3107 - Granbury, TX
Your Texas Lifestyle is Here!

I thought I had seen this before.  How'd you get this to re-post for more viewing?  I notice that all the prior comments are gone.  

Nov 21, 2008 03:41 PM
Herb Hamilton
RE/MAX Preferred Inc. Realtors - Portland, OR
Real Estate Broker ,CDPE, Downtown Portland

That is a nice laugh

Nov 21, 2008 04:01 PM
Karen Anne Stone
New Home Hunters of Fort Worth and Tarrant County - Fort Worth, TX
Fort Worth Real Estate

Scott:  I admit I read the whole thing.  I cannot think of anything cute or witty to say... so I am just stretching out my comment so I get my 25 points... LOL.  Thanks for sharing.

Nov 21, 2008 04:08 PM
Patty Carroll
Vancouver, WA

This is really funny! Love what the Japanese and the Australians do!

Nov 21, 2008 04:23 PM
Scott Leaf Personal Real Estate Corporation
Keller Williams Elite Realty, Port Coquitlam, BC - Port Coquitlam, BC
Scott Leaf & Associates Real Estate Team

 

 

cow money

I must admit my fave is the Scientologist Corp, its funny because it is true!

 

Nov 21, 2008 05:30 PM
Janna Scharf
Keller Williams Realty Coeur d'Alene - Coeur d'Alene, ID
Coeur d'Alene Idaho Real Estate Expert

Oh my gosh, what a hoot!  The reason this is so dang funny is because it is so dang true!  Got milk?

Nov 21, 2008 05:35 PM
Cecily Parks
iMove Group, Knipe Realty NW, Inc. - Salem, OR

I totally love the cow picture. where did you get it? Please share...

Nov 22, 2008 03:04 AM
Scott Leaf Personal Real Estate Corporation
Keller Williams Elite Realty, Port Coquitlam, BC - Port Coquitlam, BC
Scott Leaf & Associates Real Estate Team

Hi Cecily:

All my pics are from Google Images

Nov 22, 2008 03:24 AM
Charlie Harden
Columbia, SC

Scott that cow sure has a funny expression.  Milking her with cold hands? 

Nov 22, 2008 08:27 AM
Mike Saunders
Lanier Partners - Athens, GA

Scott - I have not seen this version of it, thanks for the chuckle.

Nov 22, 2008 08:44 AM
Scott Leaf Personal Real Estate Corporation
Keller Williams Elite Realty, Port Coquitlam, BC - Port Coquitlam, BC
Scott Leaf & Associates Real Estate Team

LOL Charles, Im a city boy never had my hands on a cow's teet...so far

Nov 22, 2008 08:44 AM
Karen Anne Stone
New Home Hunters of Fort Worth and Tarrant County - Fort Worth, TX
Fort Worth Real Estate

Scott:  That is "udderly" ridiculous... LOL.  You are really milking this for all it's worth, aren't you ?

Nov 22, 2008 08:50 AM
Scott Leaf Personal Real Estate Corporation
Keller Williams Elite Realty, Port Coquitlam, BC - Port Coquitlam, BC
Scott Leaf & Associates Real Estate Team

OOOOOOOH Karen Anne....thats soooooooo baaaaaaad (now I sound like a goat)

I am awarding you the trophy for bad joke of the day! Congrats!

Nov 22, 2008 12:34 PM
Karen Anne Stone
New Home Hunters of Fort Worth and Tarrant County - Fort Worth, TX
Fort Worth Real Estate

Scott:  For those of us who seem to devote much of our lives living for the chance to insert a pun or a "groaner" into everyday conversation... I humbly thank you for the trophy.  But even more, the groan is very much appreciated.  Thanks so much... :)

Nov 22, 2008 12:44 PM
Scott Leaf Personal Real Estate Corporation
Keller Williams Elite Realty, Port Coquitlam, BC - Port Coquitlam, BC
Scott Leaf & Associates Real Estate Team

Karen Anne, a noble acceptance speech if there ever was one, worthy of The Academy!

Dec 03, 2008 11:10 AM