Celebrating the Introvert Within

Education & Training with Sell with Soul

A New Group at Active Rain!!


What's the Difference Between an Extrovert and an Introvert?

An Extrovert is someone who gets his or her energy from being around others; an Introvert is someone who is energized by being alone. Conversely, when an Extrovert is left alone for long periods of time, he becomes lethargic. An Introvert will be exhausted and drained after a day of social interaction.

I'm an introvert. INTJ, for those of you familiar with Myer's Briggs. And I'm finally proud of it. Contrary to popular belief, an introvert is not necessarily shy, withdrawn or unfriendly, we're just... sometimes socially uncomfortable. Small talk is a foreign language to us. We need time to ourselves, we need privacy, we need space. And because we jealously protect our OWN privacy and personal space, we are, perhaps, overly sensitive to the space and privacy needs of others. Which, unfortunately, is often misinterpreted as arrogance or stand-offish-ness.

Many of us gravitate toward "advisor" positions and shy away from the world of sales. After all, isn't extroversion a requirement of a successful salesperson?


We introverts can absolutely succeed in a sales career, particularly real estate. In fact, we can be great, but only if we're GOOD. Good at the details, good at the paperwork, good at negotiating, good at the follow up. If we can't distract & dazzle them with our charm, we can still blow them away with our competency.

You are probably already a bit of a stickler for details. You are probably already reliable, organized and efficient. These skills will take you much further than you might suspect in your real estate career. And you know what? Your introversion will probably be a big factor in your success. If you consider traditional real estate prospecting and closing techniques too invasive and assumptive for your personality, you will develop your own style that, as a by-product, shows respect for your prospects and clients. You will treat them as if they are intelligent human beings, which they will truly appreciate and find refreshing.

If this sounds like something you'd like to know more about, please join us at Active Rain's newest group: Introverts are (Sales) People, Too! (Please be on time, we're a punctual bunch).


copyright Jennifer Allan 2007

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Jennifer Allan-Hagedorn
Sell with Soul - Pensacola Beach, FL
Author of Sell with Soul

Oh Cathy - I almost got tears in my eyes when I read your post! The Girl Scout Cookies! Oh, my, I SO hated that time of year. I dreaded it. In fact, my sympathetic mother (also an introvert) bought a couple cases from me so that I wouldn't have to out and knock on doors. I still remember the utter terror of hitting the streets with my order pad.

I sold between 50 and 70 houses a year - all by myself. Because I am just like you!

Wanna meet me for Happy Hour? I bet we have lots more stories to share! 

May 04, 2007 09:34 AM #37
Ginger Foust
Certified Staging Professional - Oakhurst, CA
Home Stager Oakhurst CA, Dream Interior Redesign & Staging

This is so me!  And the girl scout cookie story brought back nightmarish memories.  First door knock I got yelled at and a door slam at 7 years old and I swore for years about how it scarred me (and scared me!)for life.   As a real estate stager I attend weekly realtor meetings and I think that some of the realtors believe that I'm stand-offish or snobby or ??? but it's agony for me to go to those meeting and mingle.  After 16 months I have established enough friendships that I usually find someone to chat with, but those Thursday mornings are brutal for me.  The other agonizing social event is chamber mixers...ah misery.  As an introvert I don't think that people understand, although the more people that I meet and get to know at these events the more that I find are in the same boat...but they go and they appear to be having a good time.  I just want to blend into the wall until the lights go out.  Thanks to everyone that's contributed to this post offering support.  I will go and think of some of the comments so that I keep a smile on my face. 

May 08, 2007 01:51 PM #38
Colorado Springs Real Estate
Colorado Springs, CO


My name is Dan and I am an Introvert. I feel at home on this blog. It is a great thing!

May 09, 2007 02:57 PM #39
Jennifer Allan-Hagedorn
Sell with Soul - Pensacola Beach, FL
Author of Sell with Soul
Welcome home!
May 09, 2007 11:32 PM #40
Gita Bantwal
RE/MAX Centre Realtors - Warwick, PA
REALTOR,ABR,CRS,SRES,GRI - Bucks County & Philadel
Jennifer congratulations on your book and blog.In order to succeed in real estae we have to be good listeners and whether introvert or extrovert, we have to listen more than talk.Good luck
May 14, 2007 11:32 PM #41
Carol A. Keeser
Lexington, NC


Hi I'm Carol and I'm an introvert - but I'm a great listener!

May 16, 2007 03:27 AM #42
Toya Condelee
Exit Realty Results - Carson, CA

I just came out of the closet  today at my Toastmaster's Club!

One of my speeches was about being an NTRO and not only did they love it, but all the members present except ONE were NTROZ!  As I spoke about the charachteristics, they were all nodding their heads in agreement, and "amen-ing" almost everything I said!

Of course the single XTRO was feeling a little lonely in there, but we had our time to shine today!  

Just thought I'd share it!  

May 17, 2007 01:29 PM #43
Theron Your Renal Home/Apartment Locator
Rental Relocation - Sandy Springs, GA
Toya, I read your comment.  Congrats for coming out of the closet.  I have been thinking about joining toatmasters in my town.  It makes me feel better that I might meet other ntroz there.  :)
May 17, 2007 01:38 PM #44

"And because we jealously protect our OWN privacy and personal space, we are, perhaps, overly sensitive to the space and privacy needs of others. Which, unfortunately, is often misinterpreted as arrogance or stand-offish-ness."

 Perfect expression :)  Always the case with me.

May 31, 2007 01:32 AM #45
Carl Berg
ERA Wilder Realty, Inc - Columbia, SC


     You go Girl!!!!

May 31, 2007 05:12 AM #46
Nattalie de la Mothe
Maximum One Greater Atlanta Realtors - Atlanta, GA
Selling Atlanta Homes like a Boss

Jennifer - I think I am a introvert by nature. but I have been transforming with my venture into the real estate world.. But Now I see I can be an introvert and be successful by paying attention to detail and doing a great job....


Jun 04, 2007 03:14 PM #47
Jennifer Allan-Hagedorn
Sell with Soul - Pensacola Beach, FL
Author of Sell with Soul
Nattalie - You got it! That's exactly how it works. Just always remember to trust YOUR gut and YOUR instincts. Other people's advice, no matter how well-meaning, won't be a lot of help to you.
Jun 04, 2007 11:25 PM #48
Karen Hurst
Rhode Island Waterfront!

Natalie (and all)

Read Jennifers book, I have and its great advice.

Jennifer, I was planning on blogging about it but simply have not gotten to it. But I will:)

Jun 05, 2007 01:05 AM #49
Justyna Frank
Keller Williams - Chicago, IL
Jennifer, where have you been all my life?! I discovered your blog the other day, and I am hooked. I too "consider traditional real estate prospecting and closing techniques too invasive and assumptive for (my) personality", but I have never heard these words spoken in a real estate forum before. I've always thought there must be others in the industry like me, and I am delighted to have stumbled upon them. 
Jun 05, 2007 02:54 AM #50
Jennifer Allan-Hagedorn
Sell with Soul - Pensacola Beach, FL
Author of Sell with Soul
I've been thrilled to learn how many of us there are out there... and we're pretty darn cool.
Jun 05, 2007 09:30 AM #51
Donna Yates
BHGRE - Metro Brokers - Blue Ridge, GA
Blue Ridge Mountains

Karen Hurst directed me to this blog and I am so glad she did.  I am a classic Introvert and your blog hit it dead on!  I do think Introverts have plenty to offer as Realtors and I must say that I know I've won over many clients because of genuiness, organization, realiability and dependability.  Not that Extroverts do not possess these characteristics too.  But the point is, Introverts can and do succeed at being great Realtors.  Thanks so much for this blog.  I have now joined the group and can't wait to start reading all the posts.

Jul 10, 2007 01:15 PM #52

Donna, welcome aboard! Isn't it wonderful to finally realize that you are NORMAL and maybe even a little bit cool!? Or a whole lot cool?

I chat with other introverts all the time who thought they were the only ones. We need to stop listening to the advice of extroverts - especially the stuff about "overcoming" our personality - and create our own message that takes advantage of all we have to offer.

If it feels wrong, don't do it!

Jul 10, 2007 11:04 PM #53
Home Stagers in Atlanta / Chamblee Area
Home-A-Dress - Chamblee, GA

wow, i'm an INTJ also. great to meet someone like-minded. My wife is still trying to understand my introversion. She's a classic Extrovert (ESTJ). Funny how we're attracted to people that are so diffrent from us.


Right on we need to stop letting society dictate to us that introverts just need to be more outgoing or that we have a problem or something. Preach it, sister,lol..



Jul 11, 2007 02:03 AM #54
Cheri Smith
Prudential Gary Greene, Cypress TX - Cypress, TX
Realtor Prudential Gary Greene
I'm thrilled to see there are others out there like me in this business! Thanks for posting this. I can't wait to read more.
Jul 15, 2007 04:16 AM #55
Heather Wells
Keller Williams Realty - Clarksville, TN
As an Affiliate Broker in the state of Tennessee,

Hello fellow INTJ!  I feel as if you were reading my mind when writing this article, and I very closely identify with the points mentioned on the particular traits Introverts are strongest in that resonate into Real Estate.  Being detailed, analytical, and structurally minded, those are the points that resonate strongest with me into the Real Estate Profession.  Also, the ability to listen and get an intuitive feel for what clients are aiming for in the marketing of the home and/or buying of a home is something that we take the time to do, giving them 100% attention in the process of the transaction to close.  Thank you so much for this article, will definitely be following!

Dec 02, 2015 04:04 AM #56
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