A few of you have been asking me to write about my crazy adventures doing Virtual Tours and Web Marketing in the Dallas Fort Worth area, so I thought I would start blogging about the more humorous aspects of doing Life in 360.
So with this as our first episode, I invite you to sit back, relax, and enjoy the show. (Roll opening credits and a sweeping cinematic theme – preferably something by John Williams) When doing Virtual Tours around the Dallas Fort Worth area with our company 360WebExpeditions.com, I like to be organized (as if you needed to ask) and as such have a standard set of questions that I always ask my Real Estate and Business Virtual Tour clients.
On this particular day, I was meeting up with a Realtor friend whom I had seen the day before and scheduled a Virtual Tour. Based on my experience there are three things that can go wrong at a Virtual Tour location if you don’t ask ahead of time as a specialist: 1. Pets 2. Lights 3. Security Systems. So I confirm that pets will be safely placed in a closed room, Lights are all working, and that the Security Systems will be turned off during the filming appointment.
I knew that things would get interesting when my friend (we’ll call her Judy [name changed to protect the innocent]) arrived fifteen minutes late. As I greeted her, I could tell something was wrong. Not wanting to pry, I made small talk until she finally volunteered the information herself. “I have a crippling migraine headache that I only get once or twice a year. I can barely see straight, I’m nauseas, and I can’t think in a straight line.” I asked her if we should reschedule, but she declined. I understood why, as we were going to shoot a Virtual Tour of a $1,000,000 house that day and didn’t want to let her client down.
I began shooting the panoramic virtual tour of the front of the home, as well as taking hi-res still digital shots of the exterior, waiting for just the right sunlight to break through the clouds. Judy sat in her car and moaned. I made my way to the very luxurious front entryway area, and Judy just behind me. Suddenly from behind me I heard an “Oh no!” I turned to ask what was the matter, and found that due to her migraine, Judy was fertilizing the carefully trimmed rose bushes with her own brand of organic slurry in a very “green is good for the environment” sort of fashion.
Moving on to the front door… I had already noticed the barking inside, and had inquired about the dog. “Its locked up safely” I was told. So far so good (except for the barfing part). Next, Judy unlocked the door with her lockbox key, and stepped inside bleary and sickly. Oddly, there was a strange “beeping” sound from inside the house. First it was slow, but the tempo started to pick-up until it was blaring like an Amsterdam Techno party. We only had time for Judy to say “What’s that beeping” and me to say “It’s the sec…” before a shrill 150 decibel security alarm alerted the upper class neighborhood of the Nobel Prize winners at the house next door.
I stayed outside, fully-aware of what was to come next, as Judy attempted to call the owner. No answer on the work number. No answer on the cell phone. All I could think of was that I didn’t want to go to prison and I don’t look good in orange anyways. Apparently in her less than chipper state of the once a year migraine, Judy had also forgotten to bring the security system code. She eventually called her home office and had someone retrieve it from her files. That took 10 minutes, all the while listening to an ear splitting tune that sounded like a drunken karaoke version of a BeeGee’s song.
Judy eventually ventured inside to turn off the alarm. As I regrouped and began to film the entryway I heard I car door close outside. I stepped onto the front porch and saw a very large police officer carefully approaching the house. Maybe it was the thought of having to shower with 50 other men, but I let out a scared-sixth-grade-boy-my-voice-is-still-changing squeak of “JUUUUU-DYYYYY there is someone here to seeee you!” I don’t know why the police officer started to laugh. I didn’t think incarceration was that funny. I guess they get jaded.
Judy came out of the house, and the police officer began casually to ask the mandatory questions. Unfortunately Judy was still feeling very sick, and was having trouble answering questions like “What’s the name of the homeowner” and “How long have you been a Real Estate Agent”. I however was ready to confess to the Great Train Robbery of 1879. Eventually the Police Officer left, understanding that it was merely a mishap.
I filmed the remainder of the Virtual Tour, and Judy is feeling much better. That was however, the closest I’ve ever come to getting thrown in the slammer. Just in case though, I’m prepping myself in case it happens again.
Now exactly what is the difference between a “Shiv” and a “Shank”?