This year, in our house as well as in many homes across the country, money is tighter than usual and we are having to cut back on extravagant gifts. My homeowners' insurance company sent out an inspector to check out my house before they would renew my policy for next year, and they have ordered us to get a new roof by June 30, 2009 (our cedar shake roof is secure, but old). Since our house is a large ranch style home, that means a sizable expense. And with the real estate market so slow and my husband's advertising business also suffering in this economy, I was struggling not to feel sorry for myself.
Our gift exchanges this year are carefully budgeted, and focused primarily on the children in our families and not so much on the adults. Since Christmas shopping and gift giving are my favorite things about this time of year, I was feeling depressed at the thought of forgoing my annual splurge. I had considered not even putting up the outside Christmas lights and not even decorating a tree! Bah humbug!
Then I talked to my daughters, Colleen and Cathy. I called each one to let them know that the packages I would be mailing to them this year would be considerably smaller, and I didn't want them to spend a lot of money on us either.
Colleen, who is always upbeat and cheerful, reminded me that she has everything she needs and most of what she wants. She has a wonderful husband and they have a beautiful cattle ranch in Oregon (see picture to right, taken on her ranch), they are going to have a white Christmas like she always wanted as a child, and she said that her favorite memories of childhood Christmases were those when we didn't have money.
She reminded me of the year I had had a stroke and was unable to work, was divorced and getting no child support, and there was zero money for any gifts. She has always told me that was her favorite Christmas. She was about 10 and Cathy was about 8. A neighbor drove me to the Volunteer Center, where I was given a fake Christmas tree about 4 feet tall, one item of clothing and one toy for each of my children, a bag of groceries, and some wrapping paper. I wrapped the gifts and set the tree up on a table. When the girls came home from school, they were very excited.
I pulled out sheets of white paper, crayons, scissors and paste, and they made all of the decorations for the tree. We didn't have lights or fancy bulbs, but it was a great tree and they were so proud. Then they got to work on secret projects - gifts they made for me. They were just handmade cards and notes telling me how much they loved me, but they were the best gifts I could have received. After Christmas the girls and I donated the tree back to the Volunteer Center so that another family could enjoy it. The girls wrote thank you notes to the Center and excitedly told the volunteers what a wonderful Christmas they'd had.
Feeling much better after talking with Colleen, I called my other daughter, Cathy in Texas. I started with the same warning about the shortage of funds this year for a big Christmas, and she cut me off, saying that we had given her and her kids enough presents already to last them the rest of their lives, and that she wanted me to cut back because we usually overdid it. In fact, she said "My favorite Christmas, after all, is the year we had no money and made our own decorations and gifts." She told me that the kids at school had told her they would be mad if they got no gifts, and she told them that she had the best gift - 
a family that loved her. Cathy reminded me that we are a strong family and we all love each other very much, that I am now married to a wonderful man who has been a great stepdad to my girls, and that she couldn't be happier. She has a job she loves, as a hotel concierge in Texas, she has her kids and their kids near her (see her daughter Danni with Danni's two sons on the left), and she knows that I love what I do, even though the pay isn't great right now.
Clearly it would be better for the country if the economy were better, but remembering my girls' favorite Christmas has made me appreciate what we all have now, and accept the current situation for what it is. Yesterday we brought out the lights and my husband decorated the front of the house. My tree is beautifully decorated with a combination of some fancy things and some homemade items from years past, and I'm prepared to have one of the best Christmases ever.
Merry Christmas, everyone! Call someone you love, kiss your spouse or significant other, hug your children, and smile. We have challenges, sure, but we also have a wonderful life!
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