Dear Santa,
I know I'm on your naughty list for christmas, and I have been for the past few years.This year though, Santa, I really need your help.It's gonna cost a pretty penny, lets say about 200 Billion dollars, but think about it, It'll save me from going under.I don't know what's going on in the North Pole these days Santa, but here in America......well, things are kind of tough. I'm not asking for a bright red fire truck or a nice pretty doll cause that would be selfish. No. I'm not being selfish Santa, I'm thinking about everyone else, you know.......the economy. Sure, it'll cost the tax payers some money.
Ok yeah, I live up on the highest hill and eat choice meat everyday........fly in my private Jet(s).....but the economy Santa, let's think about the ECONOMY. No Santa, I really don't need for you to govern or track what I do with the money. I promise I'll be good...Scouts honor. I'll use it wisely.
Sincerely,
The Developers of the United States of America
Dear Developers,
Regretfully, we will not be able to bail you out this time. Since the car industry and the mortgage industry opened up Pandoras box, the north pole is flooded with millions of emails from all the United States Prisoners asking to be bailed out to. I guess they figured if all the rest of the crooked crooks were able to get a government bail out, they should get one to and they rationalize that if their bailed out of prison, it would save the americans in billions of tax payer dollars. What to do? The elves can't handle all these request, and quite frankly, we're being threatened by some prison mobs. Santa is now going on a subatical until PE Obama figures out a good way to handle your crisis.
Gives the kids my love and regrets,
Santa Claus
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