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A Babyboomer Trap: Family "Arrangements" Can Destroy Your Ability to Qualify for a Mortgage

By
Mortgage and Lending with Platinum Home Mortgage Company NMLS #238304

This is the story of Bethany and Rob, empty nester babyboomers who thought they were doing the loving thing by agreeing to care for an elderly parent. They ending up being being slapped in the face by a harsh lending world that has no sympathy for "family arrangements".

Bethany and Rob owned a second home that was located near most of Bethany's immediate family. This getaway enabled her to visit her family often, enjoy shopping in a more urban environment, and experience an alternative climate to her primary residence (which was only several driving hours away).

Both Bethany and Rob had full time jobs and could easily afford both homes.

Then, tragedy struck. Bethany's mother died. She had been taking care of Bethany's father, Milton, in a distant city. Who would care for Milton... now 91 years old?

This created a problem shared by thousands of aging Baby Boomers here in California: How do you rearrange your life and your finances to take on the role of  caretaker?  

The parents of Babyboomers are now in their 80's and 90's, and are proving to be a sturdy lot, outliving their parents by decades.

The solution seemed fairly simple to the family. Milton would move into Rob and Bethany's second home. Bethany would quit her full time job, commute to her second home each week, and be his live-in caretaker.

The family was thrilled to allow Bethany to be compensated from her father's substantial savings for her job as care taker.  It was actually far cheaper than placing Milton in any type of assisted living situation. The family also wanted Milton to live out his final years surrounded by his family, and in a "real" home.

In addition, it was decided the payment on the house, and all other expenses associated with the house, would be paid from Milton's account.

No one in the family thought Milton was "RENTING" the house from Bethany and Rob. Bethany and Rob continued to claim the house as their second home on their tax return as one year turned into another.

No one in the family thought Bethany had a paying JOB. Checks were written to Bethany randomly, and as she needed the money. It was not claimed as income on her tax return, because it never really seemed like income, and Bethany had mixed feelings about even being paid for taking care of her father.

No one in the family thought this arrangement would last for years. But Milton thrived in his new environment, and remained healthy and alert as he advanced into his 9th decade.

Bethany and Rob never considered that any of this would have anything to do with becoming qualified to REFINANCE their primary residence. With the payment on the second house being made by Milton, and the small amount of income she received from her father, Bethany and Rob were doing just fine financially.

But here is how the lending world looks at "family arrangements" like this one when you apply for a mortgage:

  1. Bethany does not work and has no income.
  2. Bethany and Rob own a second home and all expenses associated with it are theirs alone.
  3. Bethany and Rob have a debt to income that is 70% and cannot qualify for a mortgage.

Anything Bethany and Rob might have saved on taxes from this family arrangement will now be quickly eaten up by making a much higher payment on their residence than a refinance would have allowed.

The HARSH REALITIES of the lending world continue: you may only document income in a very narrow range of ways, or it simply WILL NOT COUNT AS INCOME.

Before entering into what appears to be a casual or temporary "family arrangement", think carefully about how it might impact your future ability to refinance, or to buy a home.

Talk to your mortgage professional, who will have a (painful) awareness of the strict DOCUMENTATION REQUIREMENTS now required by lenders.

 

Written by Janet Guilbault, Mortgage Lending Expert Based Out of the San Francisco Bay Area

 

 

 

Janet Guilbault
Platinum Home Mortgage Company - Walnut Creek, CA
San Francisco Bay Area Direct Mortgage Lender

Wow, Lisa, those are some important questions. The answers are muddy, and I am not qualified to answer.

I suppose Bethany and Rob could still say this is their second home and that would be the truth. It isn't against the law for someone else to make your payment, right?

Making an application for a mortgage, and claiming income that you are not claiming on your tax return would not trigger an audit in my opinion. If someone else knows the answer to this question, I would welcome a second opinion.

As to why the family was not more prepared for Milton's situation...well that is at the heart of the problem, right? I am guessing they assumed Milton's wife would outlive him.

 

Jan 02, 2009 01:39 PM
Janet Guilbault
Platinum Home Mortgage Company - Walnut Creek, CA
San Francisco Bay Area Direct Mortgage Lender

Deborah: At a minimum, Bethany should have been paid on a regular basis with checks from her father's account and claimed this on her tax return. This would have given 2 forms of proof that this was ongoing, legitamite income as a caretaker. She did neither of these things.

There should have been a rental agreement between Bethany and Rob and Milton. Milton should have paid rent to Bethany. Instead, a different sum of money was taken out every month to cover the payment and household expenses.

The lender wants PROOF of ongoing income.

PS Can I get signed up for Santa Cruz properties again at my new e-mail address? I loved those reports from you I used to get when I was at my old company.

Jan 02, 2009 01:48 PM
Teresa K. Nelson
Compass - Woodinville, WA
Your Trusted Real Estate Advisor

As the old saying goes - "no good deed goes unpunished".

It is sad that our system is set up for our parents and grandparents to end up in nursing homes instead of being cared for by family. We recently discovered that by putting Grandpa's check into Dad's bank account and paying his bills from it meant that he co-owned Dad's account!  It is always good to talk to the financial planners when making decisions regarding our elderly ones!

Jan 02, 2009 01:50 PM
Deborah Ryman
Santa Cruz, CA
M.A. Feng Shui Services, Santa Cruz County

Hi Janet! Of course! Sorry, I did not greet you properly. I get so upset at some of these things! Happy New Year at your new company.

Jan 02, 2009 01:55 PM
Janet Guilbault
Platinum Home Mortgage Company - Walnut Creek, CA
San Francisco Bay Area Direct Mortgage Lender

Lisa T: Guilty as charged. I did make the lender sound like the bad guy in this post. They are not.

You are correct to say that a lender must abide by a set of guidelines that require documeted income from tax returns. It is not the lender's fault that Rob and Bethany chose to take this income with reporting it, and not to formalize their arrangement with Milton regarding him renting the house.

I think this situation, however, is an easy one to fall into. When they began, they probably figured it would be a short term thing, and were simply figuring things out as they went.

That is why I call it a TRAP. You are unaware until you fall in.

Jan 02, 2009 01:56 PM
Janet Guilbault
Platinum Home Mortgage Company - Walnut Creek, CA
San Francisco Bay Area Direct Mortgage Lender

Deborah: and Happy New Year to you. I hope to meet you this year...I miss Santa Cruz so much!

Jan 02, 2009 01:58 PM
Bob & Carolin Benjamin
Benjamin Realty LLC - Gold Canyon, AZ
East Phoenix Arizona Homes

This is likely a scenario that is affecting thousands of people in various ways. It is a fact of our society these days.

Jan 02, 2009 02:49 PM
Janet Guilbault
Platinum Home Mortgage Company - Walnut Creek, CA
San Francisco Bay Area Direct Mortgage Lender

Bob and Carolin: You are correct! I have watched so many of my friends have their lives turned upside down and inside out as a result of this situation. I wonder why we as a society don't give this more attention.

Jan 02, 2009 02:54 PM
Janet Guilbault
Platinum Home Mortgage Company - Walnut Creek, CA
San Francisco Bay Area Direct Mortgage Lender

Teresa: Wow! I did not know that. Maybe we need elder advisors instead of financial planners.

I am thinking of so many ways that we are blocked from being able to help the older folks. Example: the reluctance of cities to allow granny flats and guest houses.

We should be encouraging this, not making it impossible.

Jan 02, 2009 02:59 PM
Roland Woodworth
Blue Cord Realty - Clarksville, TN
Blue Cord Realty

Janet: This is a very interesting story. It is a shame that this can happen. Of course it is the way things are. Something people need to keep in mind.

Jan 02, 2009 03:15 PM
Christine Donovan
Donovan Blatt Realty - Costa Mesa, CA
Broker/Attorney 714-319-9751 DRE01267479 - Costa M

This is unfortunately too true a story suffered by many people in this day and age who do not understand the mortgage world.

Jan 02, 2009 03:23 PM
Chris Olsen
Olsen Ziegler Realty - Cleveland, OH
Broker Owner Cleveland Ohio Real Estate

Very informative, thank you Janet.  People say a good attorney is worth the money, the same can also be said about having not just finding a good loan officer, but having a relationship with one so one can be proactive to prevent situations like this from occuring.

Good relationships are essential.

Jan 02, 2009 03:28 PM
Sharon Alters
Coldwell Banker Vanguard Realty - 904-673-2308 - Fleming Island, FL
Realtor - Homes for Sale Fleming Island FL

Janet, this is great information. It is a reminder to seek professional advice before making such decisions. I just don't understand the way lenders think. I agree with Bryant that they have zero common sense!

Jan 02, 2009 04:25 PM
Missy Caulk
Missy Caulk TEAM - Ann Arbor, MI
Savvy Realtor - Ann Arbor Real Estate

Wow, this is good stuff. For me I'm caught in the can't refinance because we always went stated. Now my neighbors who we own our lake house with want to sell, we could buy them out but I can't get a loan to do so. We're thinking maybe a land contract with them. What do you think?

Jan 02, 2009 09:45 PM
Jennifer Fivelsdal
JFIVE Home Realty LLC | 845-758-6842|162 Deer Run Rd Red Hook NY 12571 - Rhinebeck, NY
Mid Hudson Valley real estate connection

Janet this was terrific information to share.  It is always wise to see the advice of a lawyer and accountant when considering any type of relationship affecting real property and finance.

Jan 02, 2009 10:25 PM
Eileen Begley
Coldwell Banker, DelMonte - Carmel, CA
Monterey Real Estate

Wow! Very good post.  Alot of us need this kind of info, no question. My parents are in their late 80's and could end up moving in with my youngest sister.  Will check ahead and see how any income/payments to her could impact both her and my parents. Thanks.

Jan 03, 2009 03:29 AM
Diane Aurit
LKN Realty, LLC - Mooresville, NC
Lake Norman Real Estate

Thank you for sharing this insight.  There are so many changes and restrictions in our lending institutions and programs it is great to get updates like this.

Jan 03, 2009 03:51 AM
Marcie Purcell Associate Broker
Better Homes and Gardens Real Estate Cassidon Realty - Quakertown, PA
Realtor, Bucks & Montgomery Co PA

Janet, Thank you for this blog. I am 26 and my parents live with me at the moment due to the financial reasons. They don't plan on it as forever thing but they are in there 60's and don't have much savings and they thought might be since I am in real estate to invest in a 2nd home, townhome or condo for them in the future. This helps a lot to know what I need to do when the time comes.

Jan 03, 2009 06:38 AM
Karen Cooper
Karen Cooper | Sr Mortgage Loan Originator ! NMLS # 223305 | First Federal Bank of Florida, Ocala, FL - The Villages, FL
Helping Homeowners w/Home Loans in 27 US States

Janet - there are so many variations on this theme, where major life decisions being made end up "interfering" with lending criteria/guidelines. This exact situation - multiple generations living together - is one of the points our County is considering with its land use plans to meet housing needs.

Jan 05, 2009 08:42 AM
Jackie - computer-training-atlanta.com
770.498.7333 - Atlanta, GA
Learn to leverage technology to get more done.

Wow, what a unique topic. It is so easy to fall into the rhythm of taking care of the ones you love without thinking of the legal or financial ramifications. One more example of why this kind of family planning is a necessity.

Jan 07, 2009 11:48 AM