Say goodbye to payroll taxes now!

By
Home Inspector with King of the House Home Inspection, Inc. Home Inspector Lic #207

One of the most costly aspects of business, if you have employees, is paying the payroll taxes that are associated with such staff: social security, Medicare, federal and state unemployment taxes, L&I. And the government takes a grim view on ducking such taxes. But there is a loophole! Despite the bureaucrats hard-nosed stance on all the taxes, their enforcement arm has yet to come up with a way to force you to pay such taxes on non-human employees. The solution: Hire and train capable non-human employees. For example, at my firm King of the House Inc, take the highly trained "rodent intervention specialist", Topolino Stromboli. While he is not allowed to answer the telephone, he has established himself as a capable, versatile and enthusiastic worker. He can go from the rigors of the inspection to mundane duties such as delivering FAX's to my desk. A few photos, which will encourage many of you to follow in my footsteps by employing a cat or a dog, are included below. Remember, all this essential office support and labor is 100% tax free.

Topolino stromboli          topo

 Rodent intervention is the game         Every crawl space is minutely inspected

topolino            Topolino

 Roofs shouldn't leak                           Closets and drawers must be suitable

topolino         topolino

Office skills are essential                      A catnap, after a long day, is routine

To see how this experiment was going, two months down the road, please visit: http://activerain.com/blogsview/144258/Employee-killin-me-All

 

Posted by

Steven L. Smith

If you enjoy nostalgia and music of yesteryear, click on Elvis' gold record to visit This Day In History. To explore The Stories Behind The Music blog posts click on the electric guitar. 

 

        

 

 

 

 

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Rainer
14,304
Abe Loper
Nobility Partners, LLC - Lynchburg, VA
Very funny.  Very creative.  
May 05, 2007 04:44 AM #1
Rainmaker
595,456
Lisa Hill
Florida Property Experts - Daytona Beach, FL
Daytona Beach Real Estate
Very cute. I have cats who sleep on my papers, a rabbit who chews through my lamp chords and a guinea pig who just wants to be held and will squeal non-stop until she gets what she wants. Do you think I could write off the taxes on their food? Nah, I didn't think so :)
May 05, 2007 04:50 AM #2
Rainmaker
1,247,828
Steven L. Smith
King of the House Home Inspection, Inc. - Bellingham, WA
Bellingham WA Home Inspector
He got more into the catnap part of the job than the rodent intervention....that is what happened. Then he got into John Grisham novels.
Jul 14, 2007 08:40 AM #4
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Brian Schulman
Coldwell Banker Residential Brokerage, Lancaster PA - Lancaster, PA
Lancaster County PA RealEstate Expert 717-951-5552
Mr. Stromboli looks like he could get into those places that most inspectors say aren't visible for inspection!
Nov 02, 2007 04:11 PM #5
Rainer
218,548
Lisa Friedman
Alliance Realtors - Bedminster, NJ
Central New Jersey Real Estate

Steven, I love the photos, especially the one of him inspecting the roof!  Its nice that you can 'work' with your kitty.  I sometimes bring one of my dogs into my office on days when I know I won't have customers.

Nov 29, 2008 05:13 AM #6
Rainmaker
1,247,828
Steven L. Smith
King of the House Home Inspection, Inc. - Bellingham, WA
Bellingham WA Home Inspector

Lisa,

He was the best. Not a day goes by where I do not think of him.

Nov 29, 2008 06:28 AM #7
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Rainmaker
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Steven L. Smith

Bellingham WA Home Inspector
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