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"He's just not that into you" - applies to more than the dating world

By
Real Estate Agent with Keller Williams Realty - Lakeside Market Center

 

There is a movie coming out called  "He's just not that
into you" and while watching previews of this movie I had to laugh as it really is a great title! 

It brought me back to the many times I've heard other real estate professionals complain that "They chose this agent instead!" or "I did a great job, why didn't I get the referral?"

Heads up :  Not everyone will be into us!  

This is what makes human being so darned wonderful:  We're all unique.  Each and every one of us has different personalities, different outlooks, and different ways of conducting our professional lives.

 



When a consumer chooses someone other than us we have to learn to not take it personally.  

Has it happened to me?  Absolutely! I've had to learn to shrug it off all the while telling myself that I did the best job I possibly could.   If a consumer chooses someone else other than me to represent them it doesn't necessarily mean that they didn't like me or didn't think I could do a great job for them.

It probably means that they found someone that they clicked with better.    

Nothing wrong with that - after all "He's just not that into you" applies to much more than the dating world!

Shrug it off, move on, and put a positive spin on it.  You'll feel better :-)




~Kris Wales~ A partner for your real estate needs in Macomb County MI 
(who would like to click with you :-)

Photo courtesy of Tom Otterness via Flickr Creative Commons Licensing

Richard Iarossi
Coldwell Banker Residential Brokerage - Crofton, MD
Crofton MD Real Estate, Annapolis MD Real Estate

Kris,

Great title for a movie. I understand why some people are "just not that into me." I'm having trouble understanding whey they're just into that other person :)

Rich

Feb 08, 2009 12:47 AM
Linda Scanlan
A Consumer's View - Burleson, TX

Kris, it's so hard NOT to take it personal..nobody likes rejection. But...you just have to move onward and upward and let it go!  I'm with Richard...I can understand someone not wanting to work with me, but that other person????

Feb 08, 2009 12:53 AM
Dana Gentry
Gentry-Jackson & Assoc., Keller Williams Bluegrass - Lexington, KY
Dana Gentry, Realtor Lexington KY

good analagy... i actually saw this cute movie on friday night, it was worth seeing... :) but really does apply with other aspects of life... not everyone meshes with everyone! its just part of life. good post!

Feb 08, 2009 01:11 AM
Kristin Johnston - REALTOR®
RE/MAX Platinum - Waukesha, WI
Giving Back With Each Home Sold!

Great analogy, and yes, we do have to stop taking things so personally!  Easier said than done sometimes I know, but great point!

Feb 08, 2009 01:14 AM
Amanda Christiansen
Christiansen Group Realty (260)704-0843 - Fort Wayne, IN
Christiansen Group Realty

Good post, rejection is a part of this business and if you can't handle it....  well your in for a long ride!!  :)

Feb 08, 2009 01:25 AM
Laura Cerrano
Feng Shui Manhattan Long Island - Locust Valley, NY
Certified Feng Shui Expert, Speaker & Researcher

Kris, We take things SO personally don't we?  I bought that book for my daughter who passed it around and hope it did some good.  No matter if they don't call back--clients or a personal meeting, they just weren't that into you.  What a easy concept and very true :)

Feb 08, 2009 01:29 AM
Kris Wales
Keller Williams Realty - Lakeside Market Center - Macomb, MI
Real Estate Blog & Homes for Sale search site, Macomb County MI

Richard:   I loved the title also...and like you, have often asked myself "Why them?" til I realized it really doesn't matter.  Some people click with others and some don't :-)

Linda:  I used to take it personally, now I just shrug it off.  Took me a long time to get to that point though :-)

Dana:   Thanks for letting me know that it's worth seeing!   I'm anxious to do just that.

Kristin:  Thank you :-)   We just have to develop thicker skin during those rejection times don't we?

Jared:   You're right - we're in  for a long rough ride if we can't handle rejection!

Carole:   Yes - we human beings can do that!    I thought the movie was based upon a book - thanks for reminding me of that!   Did your daughter like it?

Feb 08, 2009 01:34 AM
Tina Vaitkus
Houlihan Lawrence - Millbrook, NY
Associate Broker

One thing I have found helpful in this process is that if someone decides not to work with me, I still follow up the listing presentation with a thank you note, congratulating them on making the choice and letting them know I will do my best to find a buyer.  And I always, ALWAYS leave the door open by saying, "If I can be of further assitance please do not hesitatie to give me a call."

Feb 08, 2009 01:36 AM
Charlie Ragonesi
AllMountainRealty.com - Big Canoe, GA
Homes - Big Canoe, Jasper, North Georgia Pros

Nice post . Hard to do sometimes but it necessary if you want to survive in this business with out an ulcer

Feb 08, 2009 01:49 AM
Ilyce Glink
Think Glink Media - Chicago, IL
Best-selling author, award-winning TV/radio host.

Kris- I just saw the movie this weekend- it was pretty funny! I think you're totally right that not everyone is going to fit with your style and sometimes you just have to shrug it off and not take it personally. Great post!

Feb 08, 2009 03:19 AM
Jason Rose
123 ConEd LLC -- Michigan real estate continuing education - Farmington Hills, MI
www.123ConEd.com

Hi Kris.  You're absolutely correct that you cannot take it personally.  It takes a while to come to that realization, but it's important to get there.  People make decisions for a variety of reasons, many of which have nothing to do with your style or skills.  Just keep working hard and customers will flock to you.

Feb 08, 2009 07:28 AM
Angie Ridley
Complete Realty, LLC - Flint, MI
Broker, ABR, CRS, PMN, WCR, At Home With Diversity

I love this post.  So many agents do take it personally.  I have an agent friend who rec. a referral from another agents client.  The agent that didn't get the referral calls her all the time and asks her what she did.  It's funny because it happens to this agent more than he is obviously aware of. 

Laughed while I read the post and while I typed the comment.  Great share!

Feb 08, 2009 10:01 AM
Terry & Bonnie Westbrook
Westbrook Realty Broker-Owner - Grand Rapids, MI
Westbrook Realty - Grand Rapids Forest Hills MI Re

I still take it personally but I get over it quicker.

Feb 08, 2009 11:08 AM
Kris Wales
Keller Williams Realty - Lakeside Market Center - Macomb, MI
Real Estate Blog & Homes for Sale search site, Macomb County MI

Tina:   I really like what you do.  Saying "thank you" is always not only polite but important in our business.  To follow up and keep in touch is wise also.  I wish you were closer - it would be a pleasure to co-op with you.

Charlie:   Gotcha :-)  I enjoy my body ulcer free!

Ilyce:  (pretty name!)   That's a 2nd vote to see the movie, I'll have to do that.

Jason:  You're right - just keep working harder and shrug it off.  Good advice :-)

Complete Realty:   I laughed when I read your comment :-)  That poor agent just needs to let it go...

Terry:   It's hard to not take it personally, but I'm much happier and calmer when I can just shrug it off.

Feb 08, 2009 11:10 PM
Susan Mangigian
RE/MAX Preferred - West Chester, PA
Chester & Delaware County Homes, Delaware and Ches

Hi Kris,  Came over on the recommendation of TLW!  She was right, we would get along!  Great post!

Feb 09, 2009 12:50 AM
Kris Wales
Keller Williams Realty - Lakeside Market Center - Macomb, MI
Real Estate Blog & Homes for Sale search site, Macomb County MI

Hi Susan,   Good to see you!   I've read quite a bit of your blog over the last few months and feel as if I know you already :-)  

Feb 09, 2009 09:00 PM
Daniel J. Brudnok, REALTOR
Berkshire Hathaway Home Services Fox & Roach, REALTORS - Exton - PA License #RS-225179-L / Delaware License #RS-0025038 - Downingtown, PA
SRES, e-PRO,ABR,GREEN,CSP

Kris,

We can not be everything OR something to everyone......and I am okay with that.

Feb 10, 2009 12:03 AM
Charlie Harden
Columbia, SC

Kris, that's a nice way to put it.  Some people seem to find their 'comfort level' with people that we wouldn't hire on a bet!  These comments have been interesting, and it's nice to know we all sort of feel the same way about this 'rejection.'  Thanks for posting. 

Feb 10, 2009 01:52 AM
Kris Wales
Keller Williams Realty - Lakeside Market Center - Macomb, MI
Real Estate Blog & Homes for Sale search site, Macomb County MI

Dan,  I like how you said that.  Very very true.

Charlie:   The comments have been fun and interesting.  Thank you Charlie :-)

Feb 10, 2009 08:08 AM
Dorie Dillard Austin TX
Coldwell Banker Realty ~ 512.750.6899 - Austin, TX
NW Austin ~ Canyon Creek and Spicewood/Balcones

Kris,

Rejection is part of the life of any sales person. You are so right, shrug it off and move on! Dan is right, we can't be everything to everybody!

Feb 11, 2009 10:15 PM