So I’m in this great big house with a termite inspector. You know you could fit five of my houses in this house, says the termite guy. I’m excited now! You have five houses? I could do a market analysis for you…No, no, no, five of my houses could fit in this space here, he explains pointing to the space. Why is it when people try to explain themselves, they say the same thing over again? But somehow I got it. Wait a minute, I say, you mean you could fit your house in this house five times, right? The brain’s ticking…yea that’s it; I got a tiny house. Termite guys! You know, he says as he completes his notes, there is no access to the attic. That’s because there is no attic, I answer confidently. But I can’t get up there to search for wood destroying pests, he answers. Right, I exclaim in a higher voice, the builder didn’t put a little door into the ceiling because there’s no attic up there to examine…and please don’t call it an attic call it, that little space between the roof and ceiling. You see that skylight smartass, he points up, you know that’s about three feet high so there’s gotta be an ATTIC and although I didn’t find any of my little honeys anywhere I’ll have to note that I couldn’t get into the ATTIC and maybe there are termites there and maybe not. My blood is rising at an alarming rate because I need a clean report to close escrow quick. Look, I say in barely controlled rage, there’s maybe enough room up there for you to have sex with your girlfriend…AND THAT’S ABOUT IT! That’s good, he says ready to squish me like his favorite bug, but she don’t like attics, and I still gotta note it. So when I got the report I had it out with his boss and got the note tossed. The lesson here is; don’t let the termite guy or anyone else dictate what’s rational to you.
Mori Biener, GRI, CRS
Mr. Neighborhood of the South Bay
South Bay Brokers
310-418-9188
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