The Whole Point Of The Pain In Saying I Do!

Real Estate Agent with Keller Williams Realty 0575737

Many who tune into the title of this blog post will say, "I need to check this out. Surely this is some kind of good marriage therapy advice, especially in the early years, to get you over the rocky spots." As Johnny Carson in his Carnac the Magnificent garb might tell you, "Oh but you would be so wrong wonder friend and may the fleas of a thousand camels nest in your shorts."


OK, a little bait and switch action here today. Don't tell me you've never seen that from a car dealer advertising one thing in the paper and you get to the lot and the real model costs $10,000 more? Kind of reminds me of new construction model homes compared to the standard issue product for the buyer. Anyway, I digress.

The "I Do" here that I refer to is deciding to do things out of your comfort zone. There really is a

Whole Point of the Pain in saying I Do!

What do we often say I do to?

  • I do want to volunteer
  • I do want to take this class
  • I do want to do Meals on Wheels
  • I do want to teach students with Junior Achievement
  • I do want to become a Realtor, Inspector, Mortgage person, Virtual Assistant, or even stay in this business

All worthy ambitions. All goals. All the little, or not so little "I Do's" in life we choose. There are millions of examples. But the tradeoffs? Don't forget that side of the ledger. The time invested. The hassle to our lives. The money expended. Not to mention the traffic you go through to accomplish your goal. Those little fifth graders you want to teach occasionally, they start their classes at 7:30 a.m. 90 minutes away from your house. Hello, you are a night owl. OK, so we can easily define pain with anything we set out to do. If we risk, we KNOW we are in for pain. But here is the beauty of life.


The "point" of going through the pain is very simple. One, you discover more about yourself than you knew previously. This is the volunteer effect where the volunteer gets more out of something than who gets the help. And most importantly for YOU number two,

You get the good feelings you need in your life.

It makes all the pain worthwhile.

Why ladies am I thinking of your child birth experience here?

Always know, the pain of the "I Do's" you so courageously reach out and strive for in life are well worth it if you get to that good feeling in life. Keep doing more and more of your I Do's and I promise you the good feelings will follow.


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Marilyn Katz
Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices New England Properties - Westport, CT
ABR, e-PRO -

Gary - Years ago, I recall reading a guest editorial in the NY Times magazine about how the author learned that doing the things that he didn't want to do, yet knew he should do, left him feeling good that he had done them. 

Although these examples may not be exactly what he wrote, they were things like traveling to a relative's birthday party, dreading the trip, but feeling rewarded at how much his presence was appreciated.   Reluctantly attending a funeral, only going because he felt obligated, then feeling good about himself for having done the right thing. 

Feb 27, 2009 12:31 PM #3
Carl Winters
Canyon Lake, TX

People that give receive much in return. You are so right, two simple words "I DO" or "I WILL".

Have a nice weekend.

Feb 27, 2009 12:47 PM #4
Sharon Lee
Sharon Lee's Virtual Assistance - Jonesborough, TN
Retired and loving life

Gary-Great post. I love this line. "One, you discover more about yourself than you knew previously". I know myself pretty well. As the year progresses I know even more.


Feb 27, 2009 01:36 PM #5
Teresa Harris
Lake Real Estate, LLC - Denver, NC
Denver . Lake Norman . Charlotte

This is the volunteer effect where the volunteer gets more out of something than who gets the all the volunteering I have done I have learned things I never knew before and it's just the greatest feeling knowing that you are helping someone else and contributing to something bigger than self. GREAT POST GARY!!!! Now where is that star?!?!?!

Feb 27, 2009 01:49 PM #6
William Johnson
RE/MAX Associates - La Jolla, CA
San Diego Real Estate Voice, GRI CRS e-Pro CDPE

Hi Gary, No Pain , No Gain,

Certain ways of excercising indicate that if you excercsie up to the point of beginning to feel some discomfort, you are just maintaining. If you go beyond that, the pain is the breaking down of the musceles and it takes that to build them beyond mauntenance. The same holds true as you have  indicated here in your post, that to build and not just maintain, there is pain associated with it.

I can usually tell at what stage I am in, in life,  by the level of discomfort I am trying to endure. And of late, I know real pain and for that reason I am very encouraged.

Feb 27, 2009 01:55 PM #7
Laura Cerrano
Feng Shui Manhattan Long Island - Locust Valley, NY
Certified Feng Shui Expert, Speaker & Researcher

Gary, I miss volunteering as much as I had in the past and will definitely go back to my favorite places when it warms up a bit to see what I can do.  You've very right, you learn things about yourself you never knew....and the feeling of helping others is just priceless.

Feb 27, 2009 02:15 PM #8
William Feela
Realtor, Whispering Pines Realty 651-674-5999 No. wife and I volenteer about 10 hrs a week each.  It's not all that much, but I sure do feel good doing that much

Feb 27, 2009 02:29 PM #9
Laura Watts
Positive Properties, LLC - Laurinburg, NC

Gary-It is so easy to stay in your comfort zone. I find myself doing just that-staying in my comfort zone.  I volunteered so much at one time that I got burned out after several years. Now, I do go outside my zone, but I am alot more cautious about volunteering too much. If it is something I really want to do, I will do it, but if I have doubts, I usually let it slide right by me..  Good Blog...

Feb 27, 2009 03:27 PM #10
Shelley Kreutzer
Community One Realty - French Valley, CA

Thanks Gary again for another great post. My husband and I have been trying to figure out more things to do together and to contribute more to out community. I 'THANK YOU' again for your post. I donate blood 6 times a year and I feel real good about that but together I know we can do so much more.

Feb 27, 2009 03:38 PM #11
Jeff Belonger
Social Media - Infinity Home Mortgage Company, Inc - Cherry Hill, NJ
The FHA Expert - FHA Loans - FHA mortgages - USDA loans - VA Loans

Gary... I would agree with many of the comments... okay, back... not sure what happened. Not that I have volunteered in a while, you make an excellent point. That we could find pain in many examples, but at the same time, self worth, because of the accomplishment. Anything in life takes time out of your life and schedule, but giving back to your community can be so rewarding at the end of the day. It's just doing it that can be the hard part so many times.  good post and reminder.

Jeff Belonger

Feb 27, 2009 03:59 PM #12
Dona Reynolds
Berkshire Hathaway Home Services Stein Summers - Saint Joseph, MO
St. Joseph MO

Hi Gary!  Good reminder about volunteerism.  Recently, I did a reading class at one of our local schools for the retarded.  The kids were absolutely thrilled and the feeling was mutual.  I DO and I WILL, the benefits are greater than the pain.

Feb 27, 2009 04:35 PM #13
Cathy Lee
CL Design Services Home Staging - Danville, CA

Everything I have ever done out of my comfort zone has been the greatest joy and an inmate, washing a homeless man's feet, feeding an AID's bed ridden local resident a meal.  YOUR POINTS ARE SO TRUE.  love this post Gary!    

Feb 27, 2009 05:47 PM #14
Toula Rosebrock
Diane Turton, Realtors, Forked River, NJ - Lacey Township, NJ
Broker/Sales Associate, Realtor, Lacey Township,

ToulaRosebrock.comHi Gary:

A great post to encourage people to volunteer.

As you already know, my volunteering involves rescuing homeless pets.  Very rewarding!

Feb 27, 2009 09:55 PM #15
Sandy Shores FL Realtor®, Melbourne Real Estate
M & M Realty of Brevard Inc. - Melbourne, FL
Brevard County Real Estate, Florida's Space Coast

Hi Gary, So true that we must push ourselves to do things that help us learn more about ourselves than we previously knew. These events in our lives help define our inner souls. Great post!

Feb 28, 2009 12:53 AM #16
Richard Weisser
Richard Weisser Realty - Newnan, GA
Richard Weisser Retired Real Estate Professional


I read Susan M's post about meals on wheels, and you're right! Once she got involved, "through the pain" so to speak, she actually started to enjoy the experience. Who knows what joy and pleasure is awaiting us if we just make the effort?

Feb 28, 2009 01:24 AM #17
JL Boney, III
Coldwell Banker - Columbia, SC
Columbia, SC Real Estate

You have to say I do to something in this life or else you're not really living.

Feb 28, 2009 02:32 AM #18
Sandy Nelson
Riley Jackson Real Estate Inc. - Olympia, WA
your Olympia area Realtor

Stretching is always painful, but as a result we'll be more nimble, feel better and reach further.

Feb 28, 2009 02:36 AM #19
Dorie Dillard
Coldwell Banker United Realtors® ~ 512.346.1799 - Austin, TX
Serving Buyers & Sellers in NW Austin Real Estate


Great post and I use to love watching "Carnac the Magnificent"! Johny Carson had some funny but poignant stuff but you have it all over him! Thanks for the message!

Feb 28, 2009 02:05 PM #20
Betina Foreman
WJK Realty - Austin, TX
Realtor, C.N.E., with WJK REALTY

Another great post! I love the magnificent Carnac! I miss Johnny Carson. He was amazing. Its hard to believe his replacement is getting ready to retire too....

Mar 01, 2009 01:17 AM #21
Donna J. Stephens
BHHS Ambassador Real Estate - Omaha, NE

Maybe you haven't seen this,

Dom DeLuise does an egg trick on the Johnny Carson show!


This is so funny! I miss Johnny Carson!

Mar 05, 2009 12:58 AM #22
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Gary Woltal

Assoc. Broker Realtor SFR Dallas Ft. Worth
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