Today, Patience is necessary!

Education & Training with Advantage Solutions Group


Patience is not one of my virtues! I even have a little sign in my office I bought years ago that says, God grant me patience, and I want it right now!  I've often said my cautious, analytical, phlegmatic husband was put in my life to teach me patience. He is actually a wonderful model of it as well as being the polar opposite of my energetic, speedy, and sometimes impulsive nature.  Ah, it is so true about how we are attracted in a mate to that which we are missing and then once the attraction (or is it lust?) wears off a bunch, it's what makes us crazy. But then, I digress....


I choose Patience as the topic this week because of the angst I see many agents feeling and expressing about markets that have not felt "normal'. One of the definitions of patience in Webster's is "steadfast despite opposition, difficulty, or adversity". In further researching the word, the thesaurus also added having patience means willing to endure and/or being inconvenienced without complaint.


If you are like most agents I know, this is not your Modus Operandi! We are often driven by a control freak tendency that is sorely tried by waiting patiently for buyers to get off the fence or for the lenders to make a decision on a short sale. In today's markets, our ability to control the environment and circumstances are illusionary (and this is really so in ALL markets-just more evident when the results are not happening to our satisfaction or expectations!). The timing is not unfolding for most of us quick enough. This doesn't mean you can't make a great living now. It just means you have to make some adjustments (or Shift as Gary Keller says in his book of the same name).


You know, as a coach, I am always directing you to look at what you CAN do from where you are. If actually developing some patience with yourself, the clients and the environment isn't possible, the shift can be to examining your expectations and systems. Your expectations are one of the most powerful drivers for your satisfaction. It is often said, "we get what we believe."  I know this is true for me and for most of my clients. Our clear vision and expectation of the future we want leads to actions and synchronicities that lead us there, many times, in unexpected ways and times.

Having the ability to feel certain the harvest  that you want is coming because you are planting the seeds and watering them is a demonstration of patience. The universe seems to have a sense of humor with the timing thing, it seems to me. The harder I try to MAKE something happen, the longer it seems to take. I have been inquiring into the distinction of allowing vs forcing. Going with the flow and trusting myself, knowing if I am taking daily actions, I am moving towards what I want.


The one thing I do know is that frustration right now is not a useful emotion. If you are in a fog, moving 3 feet in ANY direction is good!


Coach's Actions Steps>

•1.       Visit your attitude. Is there a shift from Forcing to Allowing that would lighten things up and feel better? Re-contextualize the immediate environment.

•2.       Visit your systems. Do they address today's market needs? Do you need to add items to the value you are creating for buyers and sellers? What?

•3.       Visit your support systems. Do you regularly spend time with a mastermind group or coach who can help with the perspective and fresh ideas?


Borrowed Wisdom

How do you stay focused on your vision for the future, instead of sucked into the worries about everything you hear around you? James Ray was one of the teachers in The Secret. He shares this wisdom,

"Most people look at their current state of affairs and they say "this is who I am". That is not who you are. That is who you were. Let's say for instance that you don't have enough money in your bank account, or you don't have the relationship that you want, or your health and fitness aren't up to par. That is not who you are; that is the residual outcome of your past thoughts and actions. So we're constantly living in this residual, if you will, of the thoughts and actions we have taken in the past. When you look at your current state of affairs and define yourself by that, then you doom yourself to have nothing more than the same in the future".

What you focus on move past your current circumstances, a passionate vision, a certainty in your worth and your gifts, are the lighthouse on the shore that holds success.

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Comments (7)

Fran Gaspari
Patriot Land Transfer, Inc. - Limerick, PA
"The Title Man" - Title Insurance - PA & NJ


Very few admit to having patience! Patience has undeservedly earned a bad connotation...If you have tenacity, perseverence, or endurance you're OK...all of which are hybrids of Patience...!!! Thanks,   Fran

Mar 10, 2009 06:14 AM
Joeann Fossland
Advantage Solutions Group - Tucson, AZ
Master Certified Coach to Motivated Agents

Fran, Thanks for reframing it! And there are days I know I just don't have enough perserverance to wait for my hubby to MOVE!!! LOL

Mar 10, 2009 06:35 AM
Betina Foreman
WJK Realty - Austin, TX
Realtor, C.N.E., with WJK REALTY

Patience is a virtue, and we all need more of it.



Mar 10, 2009 08:30 AM
Lynn Johnson
Coldwell Banker Home Connection - Owatonna, MN
Owatonna, MN Real Estate

Joeann - Thanks for bringing up such an important message.  Patience is definitely not one of my strengths and your post is a good reminder as to its importance in our business. Thanks for sharing.

Mar 11, 2009 04:29 PM
Pat Argo
Keller Williams Realty of Brevard - Titusville, FL

Joeann - As usual, you are right on the mark! Patience is something I have had to learn really well the last few years.

     It was somewhat easy in most ways to be patient with Dick as he fought the Big C battle so bravely, as well as the medical teams. 

     It was always an adventure being patient with my 4 little girls as they grew into the women I am so proud of today - (even if I did kind of throw it out the window during their teen years!)

     It has been so very interesting being patient with clients over the last 3.5 decades, each with their own ideas and dreams. We became so close for sometimes only a brief time as they moved on and frequently away in their lives after closings, much like people you enjoy as you travel.  Some are keepers. Some are fond memories. For awile, we made a differenc in each others lives.

     Now I still struggle with the hardest one... myself. I have these discussions with the former Pat and the actual one daily. She always wanted more for me and from me. I am learning to just accept me and be patient as I find the next paths in my life. I am looking forward to this adventure too, as I patiently go through all the cleaning, clearing, passing on, finishing and dismissing of things undone to make room for the future. I am not rushing. I am appreciating what is and what was. This is a virtue Dick left for me to carry on. Such is Life.

Mar 24, 2009 04:24 AM
Joeann Fossland
Advantage Solutions Group - Tucson, AZ
Master Certified Coach to Motivated Agents

Pat, Thanks for sharing here. I know your story is one others can benefit from and I am totally INSPIRED by the shifts you are making in your "new life". Thanks!!! Appreciating it all is a lovely place to be.

Hugs and Love

Apr 17, 2009 05:24 AM
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