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Agents Are Funny...What Are Words For?

By
Real Estate Agent with Realty Source Inc

Okay, so I'm not an aspiring Pulitzer Prize winning author. I'm still searching for my voice as a blogger. As a hired professional I'd like to think I can be a decent wordsmith entering public and confidential comments in a listing to cause a buyer or another agent to want to come see my client's home.  I'd also like to think that my buyers and I would do the same in response to someone else's verbal imagery and attention to detail.

Here are some of the finer examples of what our brethren out there are saying to sell their clients homes (these are cut and pasted from real listings, all expired):

"A beutiful property ready to move in. 4 spacious bedrooms.  One bedroom/office downstairs.  Large eclosed patio in a well mainteained community. Confidential Remarks: Short Sale Sale Price and Commions require lender approval.  Commision split 50/50." I love the reckless abandon and blatant disregard for spellcheck here.

"Confidential Remarks: Call LA re LB.  Home has talkative birds." Los Angeles, Long Beach? Do the birds convey with the property?

"NOT a short sale! NOT bank owned! Seller very motivated. Submit any offer!" I'll buy that for a dollar.

"Using an experienced short sale negotiator with 90% success rate." This one expired, part of the 10% I guess.

"CBB%: 100.00%" Commission to Buyer's Broker 100%?? (Typically 2.5%-3%). Quick, anyone, buy this!

"       " (Nothing, zip, nada, no comments at all). I love this when agents have nothing to say.

And today's favorite - "Very Messy, Dirty, and outdated. Floor has soft spots. Hard wood floors may be damaged. Needs all new Flooring, appliances, and a seriously thorough cleaning. Crack in walls recommend buyers has stucture checked for stability. needs lots of work. Hold your breath or bring a mask."

Has anyone seen any funnier ones out there?

Have a great week.

Md

Irene Tron
Valparaiso, IN

A little extra effort goes a long way.  Badly written listings cause frustration for me also.  It makes you wonder why people don't care more about their work.

Mar 10, 2009 11:17 PM
Marvin de la Vega
Realty Source Inc - Chula Vista, CA

Early in my listing career I'm sure I've penned some literary bonehead blunders, but it's funny to see how agents don't learn from our own mistakes. Why not put some love into our clients writeup?

Thanks for commenting, happy Wednesday!

Marvin

Mar 11, 2009 01:33 AM
Mary Yonkers
Alan Kells School of Real Estate/Howard Hanna Real Estate - Erie, PA
Erie/PA Real Estate Instructor

Marvin,

You made my day.  Thanks.

Mar 11, 2009 10:52 AM
Marvin de la Vega
Realty Source Inc - Chula Vista, CA

Glad to be of service, Mary! Have a great week! 

Marvin

Mar 11, 2009 11:04 AM
Vanessa V. Simmons
Real Living HER - Columbus, OH
Realtor

Perhaps I am a little jaded doing so many short sale and HUD listings.  That last one just screamed to me investment property.  Real deal perfect for a flip....LOL

Have a great day!

Mar 11, 2009 11:06 PM
Marvin de la Vega
Realty Source Inc - Chula Vista, CA

Ironically I think that one was a short sale! Our county's sales have been increasing consistently for 7 months straight. Buyers (& investors) are waking up no doubt!

Happy Thursday!

Marvin

Mar 12, 2009 01:00 AM
Todd Clark - Retired
eXp Realty LLC - Tigard, OR
Principle Broker Oregon

I've seen some amazing ones that is for sure, but I would have bought that 100% one myself... Heck you can't beat that commission!

 

Mar 13, 2009 09:33 PM
Marvin de la Vega
Realty Source Inc - Chula Vista, CA

Hey Todd - Isn't that one a hoot? Actually most common is the listing without any comments in either the public or confidential remarks. Our board even levies fines for no pictures. And of course some of the pictures themselves are comical (another post maybe). Some agents are in it for our entertainment.

Have a great weekend. I have a listing appointment this morning that isn't a short sale. How's that for different?

Marvin

Mar 14, 2009 02:11 AM
Barb Szabo, CRS
RE/MAX Above & Beyond - Cleveland, OH
E-pro Realtor, Cleveland Ohio Homes

Marvin, I just had to laugh at these even though they are so pathetic and I've been doing this long enough to know you could not have made it up.LOL

Mar 16, 2009 02:36 AM
Marvin de la Vega
Realty Source Inc - Chula Vista, CA

Almost sounds like a TV show - "Real Estate Agents Say the Funniest Things...".

Thanks Barb, have a great week!

Marvin

Mar 16, 2009 10:58 AM
Tony Orefice
NorthGroup Real Estate/www.TonyORealtor.com - Concord, NC
Realtor- Cabarrus County, NC

Hey Marvin, thanks for bringing a smile to my face...those were very funny.

May 18, 2009 09:38 AM
Marvin de la Vega
Realty Source Inc - Chula Vista, CA

Tony - I see them almost every day, but don't thank me, thank our fellow agents for the entertainment! Thanks for stopping by. Md

May 21, 2009 02:00 AM