What is the interest rate if I'm left handed and live in Peoria?

It seems less and less possible to estimate a payment anymore.   My favorite lender emails me a list of rates daily - nice little chart with VA FHA and Conventional.  5% Conv seemed awesome compared to what I expected.  So I called Nate and asked who gets 5%....?   It turns out that 5% goes to a single guywith perfect credit, huge down pmt, and a 30 day lock in.  What about 60 day lock... that's 3/8 of a point more.  What about 90 day lock....that's  1.125 points more.  What about 15% down pmt...that's a higher rate.... What about 10%, 5%, 3%....more more more.   What about 800 credit score?  Well that depends.... are there two borrowers?   There are 3 scores for each borrower.  They take the lower middle score of the two.   The rates go higher every drop of 20 points.   And higher.   And higher.  Well what about FHA.   Well that follows the same trends but with different assignments of rates and a different criteria.  What if my lock expires?  What if the appraisal is low?  What if I switch lenders or switch locks in mid stream?  Are rates higher or lower if I live in Peoria? Or not.