'My LIFE! By DESIGN' On the road to self REdiscovery

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Services for Real Estate Pros with Jan Stearns, Waterville Valley Realty, Waterville Valley, NH

I read an excerpt from Tom Ferry's book, Life by Design, at an opportune time in my life.  I'm not at a crossroads that involves life or death, illness or health, marriage or divorce, war or peace, employment or unemployment - and I'm ever so thankful and blessed for that.  

But, I am at the proverbial mid-life crossroads that creeps up on you and can slowly pull you down into a deep dark hole of inertia, depression, anxiety, boredom, low self esteem and ill health.  And for so many of us baby boomers who waited until we were in our 30's before we had children, this mid-life crisis can be exacerbated by parenting teens who are battling their own intense feelings of strife AND caring for aging parents AND (for us women) dealing with the hormonal hell called menopause.

So, here I am on the other side of 50, hormonally challenged, emptynesting, trying to stay afloat in a challenging economy, and I'm thinking:  What is the purpose of my life?  What have I done?  Have I left a mark?  Where am I going?  What will I do?   What’s my legacy?

Over the last several years, as I crept closer to the half-century mark, I felt an increasing sense of urgency that I don't have much time left.  A sense of regret that I squandered too much of my youth.  A feeling of disappointment that I haven’t yet reached my potential.  I had even begun an irritating habit of trying to calculate my life expectancy based on hokey 'life expectancy calculators' on the web, and through an unscientific analysis of the ages my relatives died.  

Morbid?  Yes.  Crazy?  Maybe not.  I'm in a mid-life crisis!

I recently had an epiphany.  A defining moment.  It started last fall, when my youngest child left home for college.  My nest was MORE than empty.  It was a deep, dark cavernous pit and I was on the verge of falling off the precipice.  I tried escaping in my work, withdrawing into television, disappearing into books.  Then I realized that only I hold the key to my own happiness. My mantra became:  No one ever lay on their deathbed and wished they'd spent more time at the office. 

That defining moment morphed into defining minutes, days, weeks and months.  And Tom's book is one of the resources I’ve used to kick-start my journey towards self discovery – or, a better term may be self REdiscovery.  

I’m making peace with me.  No more berating myself for what I HAVEN’T DONE.  I’m focusing on the here and now and what makes me happy, fulfilled, content, rewarded TODAY.  

For the last 30 years I have taken care of everyone around me – husband, children, boss, co-workers and family – and now it’s time to take care of me.  And I’m not feeling the slightest bit guilty about this re-focus on self, because a healthier, happier, more balanced ME = happier husband, children, boss, co-workers and family!  

Life! By Design

 

This post is to help promote Tom Ferry's upcoming book, LIFE! By DESIGN. The contents of my post are the result of some self reflection the preview chapter of the book asks us to do about ourselves.

You can Pre-Order the book now by visiting TomFerryBook.com. You can also participate in the promotion being done by ActiveRain for a chance to win some great prizes and 2500 points by visiting the promotional post here.

Everyone that orders a copy of the book between now and April 23rd, 2010 will also receive one ticket to attend Tom's Success Summit, August 24-26th and the MP3 audio role play program: Objection Handling for Buyers, Sellers and Short Sales.

In exchange for writing this post, I could win an iPad or other cool prizes, and this is to let you know so the FTC doesn't fine me.

 


Cheers!  Jan
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Waterville Valley Realty
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Kathy Schowe
California Lifestyle Realty - La Quinta, CA
La Quinta, California 760-333-8886

I love it Jan!  You are on the way to figuring out what YOU want... Good for you!  Love your post!  Kathy

Apr 16, 2010 02:09 PM #1
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Jan Stearns
Jan Stearns, Waterville Valley Realty, Waterville Valley, NH - Waterville Valley, NH
Marketing Director for Waterville Valley Realty

Thanks for stopping by and taking the time to read and respond, Kathy!  Life's journey is amazing, that's for sure.

Jan

Apr 17, 2010 12:16 AM #2
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Andrea Swiedler
Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices New England Properties - New Milford, CT
Realtor, Southern Litchfield County CT

Jan, I am going through the contest entries, funny how the thought of an IPAD and points will get us to bare our souls to the world!

I am contemplating doing the same, but am not sure I am brave enough to do so. Your post is wonderful, and good luck on your new quest!

Apr 18, 2010 02:59 AM #3
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Jan Stearns
Jan Stearns, Waterville Valley Realty, Waterville Valley, NH - Waterville Valley, NH
Marketing Director for Waterville Valley Realty

Andrea: Believe it or not, the IPAD and points aren't what get me to bare my soul.  I've been known to tell-all to the check-out clerk at the supermarket and the gas station clerk!  My kids have told me that I have diarrhea of the mouth!  I'm one of those open books.  And I find it cathartic to say/write what's on my mind - even if I end up looking like a raving lunatic. Strangely, I find such soul-baring very therapeutic.  

I've read some other comments by people who find it odd that we could expose so much of ourselves online.  Well, in this day and age, there isn't much left of us that isn't pretty well exposed.  I've always made it my motto to only say/write what I wouldn't mind my mother and father hearing/reading.  After 51 years I can honestly say that I haven't said too much about myself that has embarrassed or hurt me.  It may be TMI for others, but....eh....if they don't like it, don't listen to it or read it!

LOL...

Appreciate your note and kind words.  

 

Apr 18, 2010 05:54 AM #4
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Jan Stearns

Marketing Director for Waterville Valley Realty
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