What sort of courtesies do you extend?

Mortgage and Lending with Bank of Oregon a division of Willamette Valley Bank

Gene Mundt had a great post on phone etiquette, that I couldn't agree with more.  It led me to thinking about frustrations I've had with regard to a simple RSVP.

How many of you even know what RSVP means?  In French (ok, I'm not promoting the French) but it means "Respondez S'll Vous Plait" or, "Please respond"

RSVP requests through history have been sent with an invitation.  Heck, the host or hostess would really LIKE TO KNOW how many of their INVITED (thats right folks...you got INVITED to an event) are really going to attend.  One might ask..."who cares how many people are there?"  As the hostess of a NUMBER of get togethers let me address that.  

#1.  Me, as said hostes as I'm trying to plan how much food, drink, tables and chairs to plan for your otherwise lazy butt.

#2  Ok.  Let's assume you just ignore said invitation all together.  REALLY!???  YOU ACTUALLY HAVE THE NERVE TO IGNORE an invitation!  I'm no Emily Post, but that's just RUDE and I personally find it incredibly insulting to have an invitation IGNORED.  Ignore said invite.....you'll probably not make the "cut" for the next gathering.

Yea I guess I'm old school.  I still send out personalized thank you notes, I write letter, (HANDWRITTEN) to my elderly grandma thanking her for some china she sent to me and I say "thank you "when a request or invitation is made of me, whether I can make the event or not.


Think of this as a business practice....

A potential buyer/borrower calls you to inquire about a piece of property or perhaps about a loan.  Do you RESPOND to said inquiry with a THANK YOU, after said inquiry was made?  You'd better.

I guarantee you....If it were me, and you responded with a personal response, I'm more likely to remember you AND to have respect for you for if nothing more, responding with some social graces.

Folks, we live in a social media and techno-rich environment. It seems to me that the the "Thank You" card or stationary available at your local card store is getting not so much attention.  Let's just not forget to say THANK YOU, where those thank you's are deserved. 


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karen burket

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Kristin Hamilton CA Realtor
Sun Lakes Realty - Banning, CA
(909) 557-6966- Specialize 55+ Communties Banning

You are so right and I am glad you wrote about this. Too many rude people out there. I am not sure they are rude or just don't know any better. My mother used to make me write thank you notes every holiday, birthday, or special appreciation notes necessary. I hated to do it but over the years I realized how important they were. They make people know how special they are, that you appreciate what they did and it doesn't take long to write one and get it in the mail. I buy cute stamps, note cards, stickers for the envelopes and even Love Stamps.

As to RSVP, it is so rude not to call or send back the enclosed card. You are so right, how is a hostess to know how much food to order.

One thing I like to do; on my emails I always put a greeting like "Good Morning John" or "Hello" and normally put "Sincerely" or "Thanks" at the end before my signature. Email is so cold and impersonal so greetings make it more friendly.

Thanks for sharing this important subject.

Aug 16, 2011 04:18 PM #1
Lisa Wetzel
RE/MAX Realty Affiliates - Carson City, NV
CDPE, SFR carsonvalleyland.com

Party Planning is always easier with this  but no always the way the under generation... did I say that? ... Operate!  we can only do the bet we can!

Aug 16, 2011 04:51 PM #2
Fred Griffin, on leave of absence from ActiveRain
Fred Griffin Real Estate - Tallahassee, FL
Licensed Florida Real Estate Broker

I will RSVP the invitation from someone that I know.   Maybe by email, maybe by phone, but probably not by a hand-written note.

As for RSVPs that are from "Free Dinner Meetings" that plan to sell me some Program or Get Rich Quick Scheme - No.  Or even an invitation from some distant acquaintance that is trying to increase the Gift List... not interested.   Those invites will get deleted, or go into the Garbage.

Aug 16, 2011 05:02 PM #3
Rose King
David Tracy Real Estate - Friendswood, TX
Friendswood / Pearland / Houston Bay Area

RSVPs and thank-you notes seem to be a thing of the past. I can't count the number of wedding gifts, house warming gifts, or birthday gifts I have given and never received a thank-you note. It's particularly irritating when I send a wedding gift through a gift registry website, and I never know for sure if the recipient ever got it! Great post!

Aug 16, 2011 05:50 PM #4
Karen Burket
Bank of Oregon a division of Willamette Valley Bank - Medford, OR
Valley Mortgage Grou, Conventional, FHA, VA, mortgages

Thank you Kristin for your kind comments. Sounds like our mommas gave us similar training!  All the best to you!

Thanks Lisa for your visit!  Have a great day!

Morning Fred!  Oh I don't RSVP with a handwritten note, unless the invitation has one of those little enclosed RSVP specific "cards".  I think an email or phone call is very appropriate.  And I'm with you on those "You're invited" (to the get rich quick scheme)....Typically those say "reserve your spot" so I figure, If I'm not reserving, they know I won't be there.  lol  Enjoy the day!

Thank you Rose!  You and I are in complete agreement!  Thanks for your visit and comments.  Mucho appreciated.  Have an awesome day!

Aug 17, 2011 06:01 AM #5
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Karen Burket

Valley Mortgage Grou, Conventional, FHA, VA, mortgages
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