My mother's final gift to me, how to persevere

By
Managing Real Estate Broker with Flexit Realty "Flexible Home Selling Solutions"

We sometimes do not perservere in real estate.  Take a new look at a listings....change marketing strategies, make price adjustments, new photos as the seasons change, help our clients persevere.  We all have had examples ....I just had a living example.  My mother had a severe stroke five years ago.  She was an example in how to over come change....how to hang in there, how to adapt.

She never complained through therapy.  Her stoke initially left her paralyzed on the left side.  She attended rehab stuck with it to learn walking, eating and basic skills.  Her stoke tricked her by only allowing her vision to see the from the center line of her nose and right.  So if you set diner in front of her she only could see what was on the right half of her plate.  Rotate the plate 180 and then she could see the other side of the plate!  It was extremely difficult.  She eventually learned how the handle nearly all these changes.  Many of these disabilities imporved over time.

My mother had many health issues that were working against her.  Her lungs were riddled with scare tissue from over 40 years of smoking.  After the stroke she was on oxygen 24/7 caring tanks, motorized pumps, yards of tubing to supply the precious air.  She hated the hose, it cramped her style!

We have competition in real estate...sometimes the competition makes adjustments that affect our listings.  We have to keep our marketing information up to date so we can understand the necessary adjustments to recommend.

My mother just kept making adjustments in her life to do more, to enjoy more.  Our adjustments allow our clients to reach their goals too.

Four days ago my mother fell, hit her head...she was rushed to the hospital with a huge black eye from the fall.  She really didn't remember how or what happened.  They found a blood clot on the brain caused by the fall.  Her condition deteriorated, we had emergency brain surgery to help save her life.  She just didn't have enough working body parts to help her survive.  Sadly she didn't survive....she passed away December 20th.  She did that as gracefully as she handled life.  She was 79.

We all can learn from people that have that little extra...and they usually don't mind sharing.

 

 

 

 

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Rainmaker
1,073,964
Gary White~Grand Rapids Home Selling Pro Call: 616-821-9375
Flexit Realty "Flexible Home Selling Solutions" - Grand Rapids, MI
Real Estate Services You can Trust!
Hi Carol, she was special...but every mother is special.  Thanks for the comments Carol.
Dec 22, 2007 12:49 PM #5
Rainmaker
1,073,964
Gary White~Grand Rapids Home Selling Pro Call: 616-821-9375
Flexit Realty "Flexible Home Selling Solutions" - Grand Rapids, MI
Real Estate Services You can Trust!
Hi Jon, thanks for your thoughts and comments Jon.
Dec 22, 2007 12:50 PM #6
Rainmaker
100,158
Patricia "Pattie " Romano
RE/MAX AT BARNEGAT BAY- - Manahawkin, NJ
Your HomeTown Realtor 609 312-9043

I am so sorry for your loss,

 

 

Dec 22, 2007 01:05 PM #7
Rainer
29,313
William Moore
Innovative Realty - Londonderry, NH
Gary, so sorry for your loss.  I lost my mother 13 years ago and learned much from her in death as I did in life.  I only hope I can be as much of an influence on my kids as she was on me.
Dec 22, 2007 01:21 PM #8
Ambassador
524,093
Virginia Hepp - Mesquite NV REALTOR
Desert Gold Realty - Mesquite NV Homes For Sale - Mesquite, NV
Mesquite NV Homes and Neighborhoods - Search MLS
Your mother was a winner and I am glad you realize the legacy she left you.  I love how you said that the air hose cramped her style.  I hope you always remember her with a smile.  Bless you.  -Virginia
Dec 22, 2007 02:16 PM #9
Ambassador
1,023,486
Margaret Woda
Long & Foster Real Estate, Inc. - Crofton, MD
Maryland Real Estate & Military Relocation
Gary, I am so sorry for your loss.  It sounds like she will always be with you, though.  I'm glad you felt you could share such a personal story with your friends here on ActiveRain.  We want to be here for you.  'Sounds like a tough few days before Christmas, but my prayers will be with you through it all.
Dec 22, 2007 02:23 PM #10
Ambassador
1,509,742
Renée Donohue~Home Photography
Savvy Home Pix - Allegan, MI
Western Michigan Real Estate Photographer
Gary:  I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your precious mother!  Many underlying tones to your story imitate that of my grandfather.  His stroke was 4 years and 1 month ago.  It is SO hard for his children and wife to stay on top of his care but they do it through a labor of love.  This story is prompting me to do something extra for my loved ones, thank you!
Dec 22, 2007 04:39 PM #11
Rainer
340,913
Kris Wales
Keller Williams Realty - Lakeside Market Center - Macomb, MI
Real Estate Blog & Homes for Sale search site, Macomb County MI

You had been quiet her lately and I was wondering if it was work that was keeping you busy.  I'm so sorry to hear that your mother passed away Gary.

Gary, it sounds like you take after your mom.  Determined, dedicated.  She had some wonderful traits - as do you.  What a lovely tribute to her.   My thoughts are with you and your family at this time.

Dec 22, 2007 10:14 PM #12
Rainmaker
1,521,273
Gary L. Waters Broker Associate, Bucci Realty
Bucci Realty, Inc. - Melbourne, FL
Fifteen Years Experience in Brevard County
Gary - God bless you and your family. KNowing you I can certainly see where your tenacity and wisdom come from!
Dec 22, 2007 11:06 PM #13
Rainmaker
1,073,964
Gary White~Grand Rapids Home Selling Pro Call: 616-821-9375
Flexit Realty "Flexible Home Selling Solutions" - Grand Rapids, MI
Real Estate Services You can Trust!
Hi Pattie, thanks she is in a better place, no pain, no struggles....smiling in God's grace. 
Dec 23, 2007 09:13 AM #14
Rainmaker
1,073,964
Gary White~Grand Rapids Home Selling Pro Call: 616-821-9375
Flexit Realty "Flexible Home Selling Solutions" - Grand Rapids, MI
Real Estate Services You can Trust!
Hi William, all I can say is Amen.  I lived out of state for the last five years but kept in constant contact.  People do not realize how temporary our lives really are.
Dec 23, 2007 09:20 AM #15
Rainmaker
1,073,964
Gary White~Grand Rapids Home Selling Pro Call: 616-821-9375
Flexit Realty "Flexible Home Selling Solutions" - Grand Rapids, MI
Real Estate Services You can Trust!
Hi Virginia, she made it very difficult not to recognize her struggle and rejoice in her victories with her!  Thanks for your kind words.  Have a great Christmas.
Dec 23, 2007 09:32 AM #16
Rainmaker
1,073,964
Gary White~Grand Rapids Home Selling Pro Call: 616-821-9375
Flexit Realty "Flexible Home Selling Solutions" - Grand Rapids, MI
Real Estate Services You can Trust!
Hi Margaret, we are very much a peace with her passing.  Her everyday struggle is over.  She used God's vessel to it's maximum.  I appreciate your thoughts Margaret.
Dec 23, 2007 09:36 AM #17
Rainmaker
1,073,964
Gary White~Grand Rapids Home Selling Pro Call: 616-821-9375
Flexit Realty "Flexible Home Selling Solutions" - Grand Rapids, MI
Real Estate Services You can Trust!
Hi Renee, you can never appreciate the internal struggle to keep the works right, act like nothing is wrong, keep smiling when things are sad to see.  The immediate care givers have their hands full 24/7.  I was very fortunate to have a sister to share the care duties.  Going out to diner was always a entertaining experience.  We never knew what she would order or say!  Your gift of understanding and research in what stroke victims experience would be the greatest you can give.  Thanks for the comments Renee.  Tell your Grandfather Merry Christmas from our family.
Dec 23, 2007 09:46 AM #18
Rainmaker
1,073,964
Gary White~Grand Rapids Home Selling Pro Call: 616-821-9375
Flexit Realty "Flexible Home Selling Solutions" - Grand Rapids, MI
Real Estate Services You can Trust!
Thanks Kris, It was pretty emotional since I had just talked with her on the phone and were planning Christmas diner together.  We had initially thought that she may survive...but her injury was just to severe.  She gave it her best shot.  Thanks for your thoughts Kris.
Dec 23, 2007 09:52 AM #19
Rainmaker
1,073,964
Gary White~Grand Rapids Home Selling Pro Call: 616-821-9375
Flexit Realty "Flexible Home Selling Solutions" - Grand Rapids, MI
Real Estate Services You can Trust!
Hi Gary, thanks so much for your comments.  It is amazing how events work out.  I could have been in Florida instead of being here.  I was her patient advocate....she made the choices, I just followed her wishes.  Thanks again for the comments Gary.
Dec 23, 2007 09:55 AM #20
Rainmaker
336,869
Kim Peasley-Parker
AgentOwned Realty, Heritage Group, Inc. - Sumter, SC

Gary,

My condolences to you and your family.  The fact that you are able to see what you have learned from your mother is wonderful and healing.  We lost our son at birth last year and through the diagnosis and preparing for his arrival we learned so much and it was helped us to heal also.  

 

Dec 23, 2007 11:05 AM #21
Rainmaker
1,073,964
Gary White~Grand Rapids Home Selling Pro Call: 616-821-9375
Flexit Realty "Flexible Home Selling Solutions" - Grand Rapids, MI
Real Estate Services You can Trust!
Hi Kim, I am truly sorry for the loss of your son.  I can hardly understand a loss like that.  I had my mother for so many years.  Thank you for such kind words Kim.  I wish you and your family the best of holiday seasons Kim.
Dec 23, 2007 11:38 AM #22
Rainmaker
336,869
Kim Peasley-Parker
AgentOwned Realty, Heritage Group, Inc. - Sumter, SC
Gary, thank you for your kind words.  Somethings are not for us to understand.  I know his life had a purpose and he touched many hearts while on earth.  I can still mention his name 16 months later and people recognize him and his story.  Your mother's life was just meant to be longer and touch people through out it.  I am sure she will be remembered by many people also.
Dec 24, 2007 04:38 AM #23
Rainmaker
1,073,964
Gary White~Grand Rapids Home Selling Pro Call: 616-821-9375
Flexit Realty "Flexible Home Selling Solutions" - Grand Rapids, MI
Real Estate Services You can Trust!
One thing I have learned Kim I may hand over my life to God and I always try to take back control....being a control freak I guess, but his way is how I make my way.  Thanks again Kim for sharing with us.
Dec 27, 2007 10:59 AM #24
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