The Good, The Bad and The Southern

By
Real Estate Agent with Cherimie Crane & Associates

Unmistakeable is the drawl, unexplainable is the tone and unfortunate is the target of the Southern Woman's disdain. As the social barometer rises in the sultry sweet south, one thing goes unaffected by the heightened humidity and lowered productivity. Clearly heard in garden parties and cocktail hours all over the region, is the sing-song voice of southern women telling the world how they really feel. As far back as history can recall, the poetic and polite piercing of an untamed tongue often belongs to none other than the hospitable and often hostile women of the south. 

 
We are taught manners, etiquette and the proper way in which to write a thank you note for every kind gesture known to man. By preschool we have blessed enough hearts to rival the Pope. It is a skill sharpened and molded to perfection long before the less desirable or beneficial mastery of literature and arithmetic. A southern woman can walk the line of linguistic laceration as though she were sashaying the red carpet. 
 
As a public service, tourist guide and warning to the wise I have collected a few sentiments that quite possibly could save your life or at least your soiree. To understand, interpret and most importantly, avoid an encounter of the unkind exchange it is imperative to be able to identify the onset. 
 
1. Oh my goodness- This delectable phrase can mean delight or detriment depending on which word is stressed. If there is a distinct pause between each word, the best one can hope for is immediate shelter. If 'goodness' is drawn out to exceed two syllables paramedics should be notified. 
 
2. Sweetheart- All too often this sugary salutation is misconstrued as endearment. If an eye brow or wine glass is raised it is not endearing. Not endearing at all. May heaven and Oprah help you should 'listen here' proceed this foreboding term. 
 
3. Did she/he really?- If this is muttered someone, somewhere will not be sleeping tonight. Often confused for a question when in reality it is a statement of intent and that intent is not to share a recipe for apple pie. 
 
4. I shouldn't say this but....- Prepare for an onslaught. This could go on for quite some time. Do not interrupt, intervene or attempt to argue. Simply nod and politely insert an occasional 'Oh no'.
 
 
5. You've done something different to you hair- A confirmation that your hair dresser wasn't on their a-game at your last appointment. Acknowledge the observation and blame the humidity. 
 
6. I haven't seen you at church- Obviously you are living a life of crime or at least a life of shame. Quickly clear your Sunday, Wednesday and Saturday evening schedule for the next three months until someone else is missed from church. 
 
7. Awe, look at her- When spoken during the summer months this is a direct reference to how her bikini fits. It is an unspoken agreement that all southern women understand. If you don't understand, don't wear a bikini. 
 
8. Isn't he/she great? This is a strategic interrogation, not a compliment. Your answer will determine your social fate. The best response is to sneeze or faint and to do so quickly. 
 
9. Where are you from?- The slippery slope of seemingly innocent conversation. If you aren't drinking sweet tea, wearing top siders or sporting the summer sandbar tan, the answer isn't important. It is just to buy time until drinks are served. 
 
 
10. Last but never least, Bless your heart- I have considered writing an expose on this sole phrase; however, some things are best left alone. Like casseroles after catastrophe, white platters at weddings and girdles after Thanksgiving, some things are just sacred. Just understand that your heart could possibly be blessed or it could be the beginning of your indoctrination to a language where even insults are held in high regard. It is the good, the bad and the southern. Welcome to the sultry south where the days are hot, the nights are hotter and the women are as sweet as can be until they aren't. Happy Summer Ya'll. 
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Whether you are buying or selling Real Estate in Beaufort South Carolina, We know Beaufort. Our little coastal town has something for everyone.

 

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Rainmaker
3,781,099
Sheila Anderson
Referral Group Incorporated - East Brunswick, NJ
The Real Estate Whisperer Who Listens 732-715-1133

Good morning Cherimie. This is fun and so beautifully written too. I loved it. As an after thought, I would apprteciate a bigger font.

May 17, 2015 10:52 PM #1
Rainmaker
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Sandy Padula and Norm Padula, JD, GRI
HomeSmart Realty West & Geneva Financial, Llc. - Carlsbad, CA
Presence, Persistence & Perseverance

AH! Cherimie Crane You have brought me back for, although a brief moment, to where my heart longs to be among Southern Belles!

May 17, 2015 11:13 PM #2
Rainmaker
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Doug Dawes
Keller Williams Realty - Topsfield, MA - Georgetown, MA
Your Personal Realtor®

I spent some time in the south and still have an affection for Southern Belles. This was a fun post

May 17, 2015 11:53 PM #3
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Kathy Streib
Room Service Home Staging - Delray Beach, FL
Home Stager - Palm Beach County,FL -561-914-6224

Cherimie- I hope you're including Texas in this because that is my birthplace.  Oh yes, I love the southern ways.  I have a feeling I say "Bless your heart" at least once a day.  You've made me miss all of the Texas accents that i dearly love. 

May 18, 2015 11:28 AM #4
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Kathy Streib
Room Service Home Staging - Delray Beach, FL
Home Stager - Palm Beach County,FL -561-914-6224

What I learned

May 23, 2015 11:23 AM #5
Rainmaker
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Dorie Dillard CRS GRI ABR
Coldwell Banker United Realtors® ~ 512.750.6899 - Austin, TX
Serving Buyers & Sellers in NW Austin Real Estate

Good morning Cherimie Crane,

OMG...how I loved this post! I caught it on Kathy Streib 's "Ah-ha" moments for the week! I've missed reading your well written thoughts, musings and adventures! Somehow I haven't seen your posts lately..will go back and check some earlier ones!

May 23, 2015 11:10 PM #6
Rainmaker
1,585,598
Mike Cooper, GRI
Cornerstone Business Group Inc - Winchester, VA
Your Neighborhood Real Estate Sales Pro

Ah, Cherimie, I've heard many of those throughout my life. They bring back memories.

May 23, 2015 11:15 PM #7
Rainmaker
1,130,704
Paula McDonald ~ GRI
Beam & Branch Realty - Granbury, TX
Granbury, TX 936-203-0279

I need a LOVE button for you on this post!  Very cute, witty and oh so true Suga!

May 23, 2015 11:42 PM #8
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Norma Toering Broker for Palos Verdes and Beach Cities
Charlemagne International Properties - Rancho Palos Verdes, CA
Palos Verdes Luxury Homes in L.A.

Those certainly remind me of my "Sweet Tea Days!"

May 24, 2015 01:08 AM #9
Rainmaker
1,108,557
Margaret Goss
Baird & Warner Real Estate - Winnetka, IL
Chicago's North Shore & Winnetka Real Estate

I never had much occasion to visit the South until a friend moved there (Atlanta.)  She's now very proficient in Ya'll, but so far, I haven't heard the others!

May 24, 2015 02:57 AM #10
Rainmaker
5,628,592
Roy Kelley
Realty Group Referrals - Gaithersburg, MD

So true! I was raised in Virginia and know the language.

Southern women offer the best hospitality that you will find anywhere.

May 24, 2015 03:13 AM #11
Rainmaker
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Nina Hollander
Coldwell Banker Residential Brokerage - Charlotte, NC
Your Charlotte/Ballantyne/Waxhaw/Fort Mill Realtor

Great post. I've lived in the south now for long enough to get the "lingo." But they sure don't always get my New York City "lingo."

May 24, 2015 03:27 AM #12
Rainmaker
684,575
Janice Ankrett
Janice Ankrett Home Staging - Burlington, ON
Staging Professional

Being Canadian, this is a foreign language for me LOL. Thanks for the education ;).

May 24, 2015 08:38 AM #13
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Silvia Dukes PA, Broker Associate, CRS, CIPS, SRES
Tropic Shores Realty - Ich spreche Deutsch! - Spring Hill, FL
Florida Waterfront and Country Club Living

I've heard almost all of these and used some myself.... 

May 24, 2015 12:15 PM #14
Rainmaker
774,128
Joanna Cohlan
Fresh Eyes For Your Home - Chappaqua, NY
Designing, Decorating & Staging Westchester Homes

I've never lived in the South but I have traveled thru it and probably met someone who has said each of these phrases - thank you for giving them meaning!

May 25, 2015 05:46 AM #15
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Ed Silva
RE/MAX Professionals, CT 203-206-0754 - Waterbury, CT
Central CT Real Estate Broker Serving all equally

I so remember the times I would have to travel south and then try to remember their little differences.  Thanks for a fun post

May 25, 2015 06:28 AM #16
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