I worked in another Re/Max office for 12 years. Next door to my office was a top producing very professional Agent who would curse out her Clients when they stepped out of line with her. I would be amazed at how they would stay devoted to her.
I learned her family owned a Bar. Many of her Clients were also loyal patrons of the family bar. I have pondered perhaps her brutal honesty was accepted because of the type of Clientele she served, but I think ultimately they knew she really cared about them and what was best for them.
Over these last 30 plus years I have very rarely let my Clients know when they have thoroughly irritated me. I have always kept myself reminded my Charm is my power. Recently, I let one have it good.
I did it in a way I knew it could be shared with others, resulting in my being interpreted incorrectly. I am hopeful we can all understand the reaction occurring when that very last nerve is tap-dance upon?
I am hopeful in sharing my all too humanness, some good will come from the experience. The theme in this message is to prepare Buyers how to be good Buyers.
BEING FULLY AN INDEPENDENT ADULT IS TRUSTING IN YOUR OWN ABILITY TO MAKE GOOD DECISIONS FOR YOURSELF!
I raised my Daughter to be fiercely independent. Being an NFL Spouse she has had to find homes in Virginia, Pennsylvania, and New Jersey. Southwest Airlines makes it very easy to find economic airfare to get to her to help her with her relocations after she has acquired her desired home.
I have elected to only offer solicited guidance from a distance. I know I would be doing a huge disservice to her to participate right alongside her in her home searches.
When Parents do this they do not allow their adult children to become fully independent thinkers cultivating a trust in their own developing instinct to make decisions for what is best for their future.
I admit, I struggle when Parents come along on their adult children home tours, involving themselves in the decision making process. I want to tell them this so badly, but I struggle with insulting them, or having them perceive me as an elitist.
After having a most recent experience of blowing my top, the good will be my more honestly expressing how I feel about this before I take Buyers out on tours. I have to force myself to risk losing a Client by sharing I serve them best when they trust themselves without their Parents directly participating in the process of purchasing. I know too well how insecure Buyers bring disorder into their buying process.
When I look back over the years when I have allowed this, I have worked far harder to keep the transaction going smooth, because I was put into the position of helping the Buyers to trust themselves, and have confidence in themselves.
Plus, now I am not just serving the Buyers purchasing, but an extension of well-meaning family or loved-ones or friends innocently or intentionally shading my Buyer developing needed inner self confidence.
Right about now I have just made some Parent mad with thinking I am challenging their credibility with providing their children with their home purchasing wisdom, and/or blocking them from being the needed protector of their Children making a poor decision.
Parents, you can still accomplish all of this and more from afar and before your adult children start their home search. They will remember everything you told them and use it for their good. My Daughter has done very well with her home selections, constantly reminding me she has listened to my expert guidance.
THE WHOLE WORLD DOES NOT HAVE TO KNOW YOUR BUSINESS WHEN PURCHASING A HOME.
A sign Buyers do not have confidence in their own ability to make good decisions for themselves is they will tell everyone they know they are buying a home, sincerely seeking out opinions on what they are doing. Please, do not put me through this serving you.
The problem with this is people are very good at disguising their real intentions on giving their opinions. Not everyone you tell your business to is really in your corner. People can hide their jealousy very well. They may appear to be well meaning with subtlety discouraging you because they do not really want to see you become equal or have better than what they have. You ultimately open yourself up to inviting confusion and doubt.
It is far better to resource yourself independently through the research your Realtor provides you easily found with the listing of the home you like in the multiple listing service, providing all kinds of neighborhood comparable sales and other information on crime, schools, amenities, etc. All of this research should be done before you enter into negotiation on a home.
Most importantly, in sharing your business with the world, if you really want to qualify the value of it, those people who you are sharing all of your business with, if you were to find yourself in a financial bind and needed help with paying your mortgage, how many of them would write the check before you finished asking for help? You know in your heart of hearts the majority would tell you they do not have it to give, and promptly would suggest you think of another plan not including them. So really how much value can you really give to all the opinions you seek? When you keep your business your business until your business of purchasing a home is fully closed, you never have to qualify if the opinions really have good intentions for you!
DO YOUR LOCATION RESEARCH BEFORE YOU NEGOTIATE THE PURCHASE OF A HOME!
There may be as many as four negotiations in purchasing a home. Ultimately when all the negotiating is done, especially after Buyer has taken a technical tour of the home with their Licensed Inspector and negotiated with the Seller making any found repairs, the Seller spins the deal pending time to ready the home for the Buyer.
If financing, the Buyer promises in the deal pending processing of the home to make every sincere effort to procure financing.
Buyers, understand even after having your credit history initially reviewed, while processing your financing further exploration into your credit history may discover hidden, or forgotten credit issues.
If you are not secure in your decision the home you selected is the right home for you, these little discoveries can be interpreted as well this is a confirmation this is not the right home to purchase.
If you have opened yourself to hear all those other voices telling you what they think is best for you, it is easy for you to allow doubt and fear to stop you dead in your tracks. This makes for funky transactions eventually never closing.
One day to drive past the home you did not purchase to discover a family thriving there, the moment you begin to be haunted with if only you had not allow others to discourage you.
Please do not ever put me through this frustration. Make sure when you have me throw all of my heart into negotiating the best deal for you, in return give me back unconditional commitment, appreciation and trust.
I will never encourage a Buyer to make a bad investment.
Prior to ever preparing an offer I will resource you on discovering equal or higher recent sales on similar homes within a mile of the subject property. I will always encourage you to visit the city or village website community relations department to find out all the vital information about the block and neighborhood. I will remind you to click on the additional information button on every listing you select to tour to find everything you need to know to make an informed good decision.
I have had hundreds and hundreds of Buyers successfully purchase a home through me, using my recommended plan of action. The Unsuccessful have all had this in common, they have doubted themselves, they have put all their business in the streets allowing negative comments to steal their dream, they have not been able to overcome found bad credit issues within reasonable timing, or they and the Seller have not agreed sufficiently to overcome any objections.
BUYERS KNOW THEIR BAD CREDIT BETTER THAN THEY KNOW THEIR OWN BODY ORDER!
Long before I was a Realtor I watched a documentary on Maya Angelou. She made a reference to this and I never forgot it because it is true. Please, when I suggest you have a financing professional to thoroughly review your credit history, share with them everything about your credit pass. Do not allow yourself to be in the middle of purchasing a home for them to find out something you should have disclosed upfront. You owe me, your Loan Officer, Attorney, Seller’s Attorney, Seller and their Agent better, than to use a discovered bad credit issue as an excuse not to purchase a home, after the home has appraised and the Seller has made the home ready for you.
When I was having my home custom constructed 14 years ago. I told my Builder I wanted him to have total confidence in me by my working with a Lender of his choice he trusted. His Lender gave me a list of everything he needed. I made it my business to give them everything on his list and anything else I thought he might need. I was fully transparent on my credit victories and challenges. I gave him all the information on a Friday morning. Monday evening he informed me my filed had been viewed by his company’s Underwriter. I was fully approved to build the home of my dreams.
I know my words may read as harsh, but I live by this principle I would never ask any more of a Buyer than I would be willing to give of myself.
I bring unconditional earned expert guidance, confidence, respect, integrity, transparency, loyalty, a knowing of what is best for them, and cooperation to every Client I serve. I must constantly remind myself to not allow any buyer to cause me to compromise any of these good habits I have worked so hard to maintain. Whenever these components are missing in a Buyer’s respect for or cooperation with me, I can expect them to fail in achieving their goal.