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It's all in how you . . .

By
Real Estate Agent with Realty One Group # S.0190863

In our seminars, we would simply write these two words on the screen 

R   E   A   C   T   I   O   N

C   R   E   A   T   I   O   N

 

and then ask those in attendance to tell us about the words. Some would focus on how alike they were some would focus on how different they were.

 

After a few minutes we would ask how are they alike. Eventually, someone would notice that the two words, in fact, contain the exact same letters. Focusing on that, we would then ask with the exact same letters, what is the only difference. At that moment, the epiphanies would start throughout the room.

 

You see, the two words do contain the exact same letters in the exact same order with only one exception. Where the “C” is.

 

You and I may experience the same input. We may see a comment that someone had made. One of us may say "That was rude." The other may say, "That was a bad attempt at humor." And still someone else may be looking for a way to block them from their social media all together.  Meanwhile the person who made the comment feels as if they were the intelligent person to leave such a comment that was entirely reasonable (not even noticing the craters left by their verbal bombs).

 

I don’t know about you but in my youth there were times where my girlfriend or wife might say something, I would react, we would get in an argument… and in the middle of the argument I might even realize I was wrong. However, I didn’t want to LOSE the argument and so I would keep defending my position so that I didn’t “lose” (that could be why I ended up divorced, LOL).

 

The difference between reacting to something and creating a better response to some thing is simply taking a moment to “C” it first before responding. If you can take that second, two seconds or even three seconds to pause before responding, you can create something more positive, more empowering, more loving. Also, if you can take 1 or 2 or 20 minutes before posting that comment (especially on Q & A) you may find that fewer people find you to be a &^$#& (or just a pain in the backside).

 

In a world riddled with division and negativity, perhaps taking 3 seconds before responding could be a positive step at creating a new reality. Or at least taking a second could help us understand and serve our clients better.

 

Communication is a two way street. We need to take that moment to "C" it first before responding. And of course take a moment to consider our response before open the bomb bay doors.

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George Souto
George Souto NMLS #65149 FHA, CHFA, VA Mortgages - Middletown, CT
Your Connecticut Mortgage Expert

Rocky I would not have noticed the difference in the two words is just the location of the "C".  One letter can create a whole different meaning.

May 18, 2022 04:00 PM
Kathy Streib
Cypress, TX
Home Stager/Redesign

May 21, 2022 06:40 PM
Rocky Dickerson
Realty One Group - Las Vegas, NV
Superior Service!

Thank you Lynnea Miller indeed, by seeing it before responding, we can create instead of react.

May 21, 2022 07:29 PM
Rocky Dickerson
Realty One Group - Las Vegas, NV
Superior Service!

Hello there Celia Moore indeed a lesson that most of us benefit from a reminder

May 21, 2022 07:30 PM
Rocky Dickerson
Realty One Group - Las Vegas, NV
Superior Service!

That is for sure Joan Cox - especially when in the Q & A - LOL!

May 21, 2022 07:30 PM
Rocky Dickerson
Realty One Group - Las Vegas, NV
Superior Service!

Hey there Kathy Streib - what if they charged you $100 to add a "wait 60 seconds" feature when sending emails. LOL

May 21, 2022 07:31 PM
Rocky Dickerson
Realty One Group - Las Vegas, NV
Superior Service!

Thank you very much Roy. As always I appreciate your support

May 21, 2022 07:32 PM
Rocky Dickerson
Realty One Group - Las Vegas, NV
Superior Service!

Hey there Will Hamm certainly glad to have folks like you in our A R family

May 21, 2022 07:33 PM
Rocky Dickerson
Realty One Group - Las Vegas, NV
Superior Service!

Indeed George Souto that is so very true. I wonder if congress knows about this? LOL

May 21, 2022 07:33 PM
Wayne Martin
Wayne M Martin - Chicago, IL
Real Estate Broker - Retired

Good morning Rocky.  Like your line of thinking. The brain should be engaged before the mouth is put in motion. Enjoy your day.

May 22, 2022 05:04 AM
Grant Schneider
Performance Development Strategies - Armonk, NY
Your Coach Helping You Create Successful Outcomes

Good morning Rocky - this is another wonderful post.  Communication is the biggest problem.  If we stop and think and also listen we have a better outcome.  So many do think they did anything wrong.

May 22, 2022 05:38 AM
Dorie Dillard Austin TX
Coldwell Banker Realty ~ 512.750.6899 - Austin, TX
NW Austin ~ Canyon Creek and Spicewood/Balcones

Good morning Rocky,

We all need to take time to pause when commenting....this world is so different than the one I grew up in. Everyone is offended over something. Being spontaneous is harder to do and maybe that's good or maybe it's unfortunate. 

May 22, 2022 07:50 AM
Sheri Sperry - MCNE®
Coldwell Banker Realty - Sedona, AZ
(928) 274-7355 ~ YOUR Solutions REALTOR®

Hi Rocky,

A great example to illustrate your point, especially when it comes to social media.  I learned a long time ago that comments can be misconstrued. If you are going to respond, it is better to ask a question or ask for clarification.  But in most cases, it is better to just move down the line to the next post and forget about the last one. As we know, anything that hits the Internet could be there for a long while!

May 22, 2022 08:04 AM
Carol Williams
Although I'm retired, I love sharing my knowledge and learning from other real estate industry professionals. - Wenatchee, WA
Retired Agent / Broker / Prop. Mgr, Wenatchee, WA

Hi Rocky,
The problem with digital communication is you don't have any voice inflection to help determine the tone of a message. How a response is framed is critical.

May 22, 2022 11:02 AM
Anna "Banana" Kruchten
HomeSmart Real Estate - Phoenix, AZ
602-380-4886

Hi Rocky I so agree, hold your horses as my Dad used to say, and, these days  (ones typing) while on SM and things could be a whole lot smoother for everyone.  But we know some folks just can't do that or rather chose not to create something new. 

May 22, 2022 11:44 AM
Joseph Domino 480-390-6011
HomeSmart - Scottsdale, AZ
Real Estate Made Easy

Excellent article. Years ago I used to work with a guy who used to say, "It's OK to write a negative comment, just don't send it. Leave it for a while before you hit SEND. You may feel differently after thinking a about it." He was right. Sometime our reaction gets the better of us.

May 23, 2022 09:32 AM
Wendy Rulnick
Rulnick Realty, Inc. - Destin, FL
"It's Wendy... It's Sold!"

Rocky Dickerson We can also create in our mind alone, and not respond at all! I like your post.

May 23, 2022 12:03 PM
Laura Cerrano
Feng Shui Manhattan Long Island - Locust Valley, NY
Certified Feng Shui Expert, Speaker & Researcher

How are you approach anything informs how you will think about the next thing, yeah

May 23, 2022 07:55 PM
Beth and Richard Witt
New York, NY
The best Retired Brokers !!!!

Hi Rocky.... I always enjoy your posts and thanks to Kathy I didn't miss this one...

Hope you are having a Happy Day

May 24, 2022 01:10 PM
Jeff Dowler, CRS
eXp Realty of California, Inc. - Carlsbad, CA
The Southern California Relocation Dude

Hi Rocky;

There is some pretty savvy advice in this post about taking time to "c" it in our communication. It's especially important with our clients and prospects, whether face to face, in email, on the phone or via text.

Jeff

May 24, 2022 09:17 PM