joke: Real Estate Humor
- 09/26/08 02:47 AM
I have a temporary mortgage. What do you mean temporary? Until they foreclose. Realtor: first you folks tell me what you can afford, then we'll have a good laugh and go on from there. The dream of the older generation was to pay off a mortgage. The dream of today's young families is to get one. If you think no one cares you're alive, miss a couple of house payments. My buyers went through debt consolidation. Now they have only one bill they won't pay. If you want to know exactly where the property line is, just watch the neighbor cut … (11 comments)
joke: Lock up your trash
- 09/03/08 10:13 PM
I read this and found it entertaining, so I wanted to pass it along. IN OUR small town in northwestern Ontario we decided, with the advent of recycling trash, that there would have to be tighter controls over the sorting of garbage. Therefore, a permanent employee was hired by the township to ensure that this happened. However, a number of people were upset because the dump was now locked after hours. "Isn't it ironic," the reeve reflected, "in our little town, people don't lock their cars, they don't lock their homes, and yet we lock our garbage dump!" … (0 comments)
joke: Raise your commision - humor
- 09/03/08 03:31 AM
I read this joke and had to pass it on: "I have to have a raise in my commission," the agent said to his manager. "There are three other companies after me.""Is that so?" asked the manager. "What other companies are after you?""The electric company, the telephone company, and the gas company." Maybe it is time to find another career, like so many agents are today. … (6 comments)
joke: Your Competition will Make Double
- 09/02/08 01:47 AM
Humorous Joke A real estate agent walking along the beach found a bottle. When he rubbed it, lo and behold, a genie appeared."I will grant you three wishes," announced the genie. "But since Satan still hates me, for every wish you make, your rival gets the wish as well -- only double."The real estate agent thought about this for a while. "For my first wish, I would like ten million dollars," he announced.Instantly the genie gave him a Swiss bank account number and assured the man that $10,000,000 had been deposited. "But your rival has just received $20,000,000," the genie said."I've … (2 comments)
joke: Humorous Story
- 09/01/08 03:22 AM
This is very entertaining! Best Deal in TOWN:One Sunday afternoon a couple sees an ad in the paper. They can't believe their eyes. There is a house in the paper for $1000 that is in the nicest part of town. We are talking about a Highland Park mansion for $1000. They think this has to be a misprint, but decide to call anyway.They say to lady who answers we saw your ad, and realize it is a misprint correct. She tells them no it's not & you are actually the first ones to call. They decide to go look at the … (6 comments)
joke: Real Estate One Liners - Humorous
- 08/26/08 09:51 PM
I read a few of these and found them entertaining: The sellers told me their house was near the water. It was in the basement. The dream of the older generation was to pay off a mortgage. The dream of today's young families is to get one. There is no longer a need for the neutron bomb. We already have something that destroys people and leaves buildings intact. It's called a mortgage. If you think no one cares you're alive, miss a couple of house payments. My buyers went through debt consolidation. Now they have only one bill they won't pay. … (11 comments)
joke: Big Shot Consequences - Humor
- 08/25/08 04:22 AM
I wanted to pass this one along: A young broker had just started his own real estate office. He rented a beautiful office and had it furnished with antiques. Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear the hot shot, the broker picked up the phone and started to pretend he had a big deal working. He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments. Finally he hung up and asked the visitor, "Can I help you?" The man said, "Yeah, I've come to activate your phone lines."
… (2 comments)
joke: Real Estate Advertising Phrases
- 08/21/08 03:22 AM
CHARMING - Tiny. Snow White might fit, but five of the dwarfs would haveto find their own place. See "Cute," "Enchanting," and "Good Starter Home."MUCH POTENTIAL - Grim. Steer clear unless you have a lot of money andbelieve your blind dates really did have nice personalities. See"Ready to Rehab," and "Fixer Upper."UNIQUE CITY HOME - Used to be a warehouse.HI-TECH/CONTEMPORARY - Lots of steel shelving with little holes - thekind your dad used to store tools on in the basement.DARING DESIGN - Still a warehouse.COMPLETELY UPDATED - Avocado dishwasher and harvest gold carpeting or vice versa.SOPHISTICATED - Black walls and no … (3 comments)
joke: Afternoon Humor - Experienced Agent
- 08/18/08 05:18 AM
A real-estate agent, had difficulty getting a listing from a customer whose theory was that "there is no substitute for experience." After he asked her a third time how many years she had been in the business, she told him: "Sir, there is a little-known historical fact that Moses brought three tablets down from the mountain-two were the Ten Commandments and the other was my real-estate license!" She got the listing. … (3 comments)
joke: Real Estate Monsters...Afternoon Humor
- 08/15/08 07:52 AM
A FEW years ago we were desperately trying to sell our house, which was situated on a busy thorough fare. Our Real Estate agent decided to have open-house inspection nearly every day to promote the sale. We instructed the children not to talk to anyone about the house. One evening a man took our seven-year-old daughter aside and asked if our house had any secrets he should know. Her first reaction was to smile and ignore his question. But he became more persistent and, finally, she confessed there was one secret but she could not tell it to him. "Now we're … (4 comments)
joke: The Truth can be Humorous!
- 08/15/08 04:36 AM
WHEN we put our house up for sale, I stressed emphatically that my sons make their beds each morning. I left for work before they left for school, and I wanted to be sure that the house looked presentable when the agent showed it to prospective buyers. I was surprised and impressed that my 15-year-old son's bed was made perfectly each day. One night when I went into his room, I discovered his secret he was fast asleep on the floor in his sleeping bag. This joke has truth to it, but I think most teenage boys would just sleep on … (2 comments)
joke: Kiss Me...Humorous
- 08/11/08 04:37 AM
Two women were walking through the woods when a frog called out to them and said: "Help me, ladies! I am a real estate broker who, through a curse, has been transformed into a frog. If one of you will kiss me, I'll be returned to my former state!"One woman took out her purse, grabbed the frog, and stuffed it inside her handbag. The other woman said, "Didn't you hear him? If you kiss him, he'll turn into a real estate broker!"The second woman replied, "Sure, but these days a talking frog is worth more than a real estate broker!"
… (7 comments)
joke: How is your business?
- 08/05/08 08:24 AM
IN A crowded elevator, one man asked another, "How's business?" "Last year we sold 500,000 houses, 700,000 farms and 750,000 schools," came the reply. "This year we ought to do equally well and, in addition, sell 1,200,000 garages." As the elevator descended, there was heavy silence for a moment. Then someone spoke up indignantly. "Sir," he said, "I'm in real estate, and those figures are preposterous!" He didn't know that the man boasting about his business was the marketing director of a major toy company. … (6 comments)
I have a temporary mortgage. What do you mean temporary? Until they foreclose.
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