communication: By the word - 07/27/21 03:46 PM
Here we are. Most of us on Active Rain are real estate agents. Real estate agents get paid for producing results such as buying, selling or leasing real estate. We don’t get paid by the word. Still some agents seem to believe that they do get paid by the word.
 
I recently asked someone about themselves and they gave me a 3-minute story full of details, names, years, dates, ages and circumstances. You know what their diatribe didn’t have? The answer to my question.
 
You don’t get paid by the word. If I want a diatribe, I can ask for one. And since … (33 comments)

communication: The coins - 06/15/21 05:05 PM
People are funny. They have a view of the world. Even though it is their view, many believe it is everyone’s view, or that it should be everyone’s view. Here is a simple exercise in someone’s view. Look at this photo:
 
 
 
Now what is the relation they have?
 
Well, some would tell you that they are all round, or they are all coins or they are all metal. These are generally people who sort by “sameness” or how things are alike.
 
Some would say that they are all coins – but different values, or they are all silver but one is copper, or … (34 comments)

communication: I didn't say . . . - 05/31/21 08:42 PM
“I didn’t say I touched her”. What does that sentence mean? When you receive a text or an email, it can mean a number of things. This is why voice to voice communication can be so key. The TONALITY conveys over 5 times more than the words themselves.
 
I didn’t say I touched her
Meaning somebody else said it
 
I didn’t say I touched her
Meaning that was not what I said
 
I didn’t say I touched her
Meaning I may have implied it, but I didn’t say it
 
I didn’t say I touched her
Meaning I said someone else touched her
 
I didn’t say I touched her
Meaning that I … (12 comments)

communication: Punctuation - 04/25/21 10:29 PM
A woman without her man is nothing.
 
That is the statement. How you choose to add punctuation makes all the difference. You could look at it two way that I see:
 
A woman, without her, man is nothing.
 
Or you could say
 
A woman with out her man, is nothing.
 
So remember, it is how you interpret what you see and hear and where you choose to place the punctuation in your mind that makes all the difference.
 
… (16 comments)

communication: Old movies - 04/12/21 10:23 PM
I have become fed up with newer modern violent and brainless movies. And so, I am training my Amazon Prime not to show them to me. How do you do that? By searching specifically for movies that are over 40 years old. The more you watch old movies, the less that they show you that there are new movies filled with mindless violence.
 
So, over the weekend, I was watching George Segal and Barbara Streisand in The Owl and The Pussycat. One of the arguments in the movie was a line the writer placed in to his novel, “The sun spat morning … (28 comments)

communication: Until I entered the room - 03/04/21 09:01 PM
You remember that day, right? You were happy as could be. You may have been whistling “Zip-A-Dee-Do-Dah”. And then it happened. They said something or they did something and your happy mood was completely ruined.
 
Well, I hate to tell you this, but there is over a 95% chance that it was all your fault. There was no jerk until you entered the room. And I am not saying that people refer to you as a jerk all the time either. Here, let me back this up.
 
Where you grew up, when you grew up and who you grew up with made a … (50 comments)

communication: He said that he would be . . . - 02/07/21 11:21 AM
Recently I was approached by a young man that told me he would be great in real estate. He told me all about his strengths and his plans. He told me all about his background and how it was perfect for being in real estate. I asked simple yes or no questions and each time got 5-minute-long answers. At the end, I wasn’t really sure if he had actually said yes or no – I was just glad that he stopped talking.
At some point, we really should make lesson 1: How to ask a question and listen. Truth is that when … (20 comments)

communication: So, let me ask you . . . - 01/28/21 04:14 PM
Who is in control of a conversation? Are you aware of who that may be? Have you thought about that before? Do you ever observe conversations? Who is in control of a conversation? Have you figured it out yet?
The person in control of a conversation is the one who is asking questions. After all by asking questions, they are guiding the person answering through the subjects that the questioner wants to cover.
The art of asking questions is key. In your personal life, it allows you a deep communication with those you call friends or family. In business it allows you to … (30 comments)

communication: Let's rap about that - 01/16/21 10:38 AM
I was on a training call the other day and a strange thing happened. I went there to get trained. And still, in the end I ended up helping to do the training. Just one of those strange occurrences you never expect.
Still, while I was in the middle of this, an idea came into my mind. It actually, took something I learned from one source and combined it with something I learned from another source. And then in the end, I had a cheesy name for it as well. Who knows, I may have been trained in this 30 years ago, … (52 comments)

communication: I'll give YOU a what for! - 11/01/20 08:09 PM
So, it was about 2004. I was working in a marketing firm and got along with everyone. Except Ralph. Ralph and I did not get along. Talk about someone that could push your buttons? Ralph pushed mine just about every day. I had no choice though. In working at this firm, I was required to put up with Ralph. Every day, he got under my skin. He was irritating, rude and as a guy that grew up in laid back California, my blood boiled when he would dismiss what ever I had done or said with a “F#@k you”. Day by … (36 comments)

communication: Do you really hear what they are saying? - 10/20/20 03:17 PM
Now my dad was from a small town in Mississippi called Quitman. At this time the population of that town is still less than 1,900 from what I hear. Add to that my dad was born during the depression to a sharecropper and his wife and had to be removed from school in the 3rd grade so that he could help in the fields, my dad had a Southern accent. I remember once around 1975, we were traveling through Canada. We were in a full-service gas station and the attendant filled us up with gas, checked the tires and the radiator, … (31 comments)

communication: Wish they heard what you said? - 10/19/20 11:59 AM
If you were lucky enough to have attended his seminars before the big infomercial success, you may have come across some very interesting things from a well-known speaker. Before he started getting deep into teaching specifics in improving how you can live your life, he actually started teaching in a more general manner. There were some great nuggets of gold I got from that time. Perhaps you are thinking that getting into NLP may be beyond your capabilities now, you may find these basics more manageable. Why does it matter? Well, it goes back to the old A B argument. If … (28 comments)

communication: We are all deletion creatures - 10/16/20 04:39 PM
Are you aware that you are a deletion creature? We all are. Here – do this simple test. Focus all your mind with complete intensity on your left earlobe. Notice if it feels cool, warm, does it feel a slight air current? Do you notice your own pulse going through it? Notice not just the side facing out towards others, but also facing in towards yourself. Notice each and every sensation that can be found there. Done? Okay, now then here is the simple question for you. During that time that you were focused so intently upon your left earlobe, what … (26 comments)

communication: That's SYNTAX, not Sin Tax or even Sin Tacks - 10/16/20 02:26 PM
So, it started out with a printer. My computer said the printer is there, but every time I went to send a document to it, the computer said the printer is offline (when it was on line). Long story short, being a tech head, I reconfigured my router to maximize the bandwidth for my business channel to help correct the issue. In doing so, I had to then reconnect some Smart Home products to the new correct channels. One product wouldn’t reconnect. I had to call customer support. That is where our fun begins.
English is not your average ordinary everyday language. … (20 comments)

communication: The first crack in the wall - 10/03/20 10:04 PM
I appreciate the compliments that I have been receiving on my blogs here, but it is time to come clean. It is time to admit my sordid past. They say the first step in overcoming addiction is letting go of denial. So here is the plain truth. I was born with the typical male disease.
Here is my theory (not scientifically proven by any means but it does seem that hundreds of ladies do agree this theory to be fact) : when a male is born, they are okay. They can laugh, play, show kindness, forgiveness, and even (ladies take a deep … (14 comments)

communication: We get paid to BLAH, BLAH, BLAH... - 10/02/20 04:18 PM
Yeah, that’s right, we get paid for our ability to communicate. All people who are in sales are paid for that one skill. Some think you need a college degree to do it well. And yet I have seen college graduates who didn’t have a clue how to communicate. Yeah, they may know how to pontificate ad nauseum but they couldn’t really communicate.
Point 1 - it’s about them – not you. I worked for a guy not long ago who only thought of himself. He would promise you anything you wanted, but then break the promise because he didn’t like how … (26 comments)

communication: What does your voice mail say?   - 09/29/20 04:46 PM
In teaching the seminars I was a part of, one of the first components we taught was the power of the different elements of communication. You see, back in the 1960s, they spent over $1,000,000 (a GREAT DEAL of money back then) to determine exactly what elements are most important in communication. Here is what they found. 7% of what you communicate is done by words. 38% is communicated by your tonality. 55% is communicated by your body language.
Here is why I bring this up. Back in 1991 I started using my voice mail in a whole new way. Every morning … (45 comments)

communication: How you see it - 09/28/20 09:57 AM
R   E   A   C   T   I   O   N
C   R   E   A   T   I   O   N
 
In our seminars, we would simply write those two words on the screen and then ask those in attendance to tell us about the words. Some would focus on how alike they were some would focus on how different they were.
 
After a few minutes we would ask how are they alike. Eventually, someone would notice that the two words, in fact, contain the exact same letters. Focusing on that, we would then ask with the exact same letters, what is the only difference. At that moment, the … (21 comments)