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Hey Negative People: If You Don't Have A License, Butt Out Family Members, You Don't Know What You're Doing

By C Tann-Starr

Services for Real Estate Pros with Tann Starr & Associates, Inc.

December 29, 2009 01:04 AM

If You Don't Have A License, Butt Out Family Members, You Don't Know What You're Doing

I am going to be brief and to the point. "If You Don't Have A License, Butt Out Family Members, You Don't Know What You're Doing." It is not just a title, it's a fact. Are you a lawyer? No? Then stop giving your loved ones legal advice. Are you a mortgage broker? No? Then stop acting as if you know origination, point spreads and underwriting. Are you an appraiser or inspector? No? Do I have to repeat myself? You kinda get my drift, right?

You need to stop messing with your loved ones who are first time home buyers. You're making them miserable and doing more harm than the financial melt down by talking crap and smack about what you know very little about. You bring an emotional component to the table they do not need right now because making a major purchase is hard enough without constant negativity and trying to convince buyers they can get something for nothing. Seriously...

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Barbara Todaro

RE/MAX Executive Realty - Happily Retired - Franklin, MA

Previously Affiliated with The Todaro Team

Amen....

Dec 29, 2009 01:06 AM

Donna Harris

Donna Homes, powered by JPAR - TexasRealEstateMediationServices.com - Austin, TX

Realtor,Mediator,Ombudsman,Property Tax Arbitrator

I love it when parents say something like, "When I bought a house 20 years ago, you could offer really low and sellers would take it". Ok, 20 years ago, we were in a bad 80's market with very high interest rates. We're in a different market right now.

Dec 29, 2009 01:07 AM

John Rakoci

Eagle Realty - North Myrtle Beach, SC

North Myrtle Beach Coastal Carolinas

How true! Some of the info people are getting is enough to set them back or frighten them away. Not only 1st timers either. Some that bought in the past have been given information that is far from true.

Dec 29, 2009 01:10 AM

Paul Slaybaugh

Homesmart - Scottsdale, AZ

Scottsdale, AZ Real Estate

"I know you said short sales can be wild goose chases, but a co-worker of mine just closed on one that he got for $100,000 under list price. He told me I should not offer more than 50% of list price on bank-owned properties, too. The Easter Bunny is real, gravity is fake, and rabid bonobos give me tax advice."

Dec 29, 2009 01:45 AM

Rebecca Gaujot, Realtor®

Lewisburg, WV

Lewisburg WV, the go to agent for all real estate

Short and to the point...this is sooo true. Perhaps we should have signs with the words "Butt Out" when family members start talking on the mentioned subjects.

Dec 29, 2009 02:09 AM

Carra Riley & Declan Kenyon

Brokers Guild Cherry Creek Ltd - Westminster, CO

Helping people Transition at all ages!

You are soooo right! Wonderful advice! Now can we get those family members to follow it? Every family has the same goal... to protect their loved ones.... so that is why they sometimes forget the pecking order of a business transaction.

All messing aside... business is business... so leave the family hat at the door and let the professional with the license do their job. Just respect each individual for the knowledge and experience they bring to the table.

Dec 29, 2009 02:15 AM

Michael J. Gallo

Florida Luxury Realty - New Port Richey, FL

Florida Luxury Realty - Gulf Home Sales Team

Absolutely Right! I get the feeling you wrote what you really wanted to be Telling Someone specific....maybe with a little volume? :) Vent Away, you are Right ON.

Dec 29, 2009 02:18 AM

Lisa Heindel

Crescent City Living LLC - New Orleans, LA

New Orleans Real Estate Broker

True, true, true!!! While we are at it, let's just ban family members from coming along for that second look if they are the Negative Nellies in the family who live to criticize whatever choices someone else makes.

Dec 29, 2009 02:24 AM

J. Philip Faranda

Howard Hanna Rand Realty - Yorktown Heights, NY

Associate Broker / Office Manager

Well said my dear. Well meaning family members who kill deals are like death and taxes. In my experience they kill the first and then "butt out" of the 2nd.

Dec 29, 2009 02:25 AM

Carol Smith

Casmi Photography - Mebane, NC

AMEN! If families want to 'butt in' then let them do it with true support, not half assed information.

Dec 29, 2009 02:39 AM

Josef Katz

Digital and Direct Response Marketing - Manhattan, NY

{Marketing Maestro}

We see the same thing here at TU. People want to invest in their education and some family member will tell them not to move ahead etc. Negative people don't help anyone. Curious why some people always want to ruin a good thing for someone else.

Dec 29, 2009 04:24 AM

Debra Leisek

Bay Realty,Inc Homer Alaska - Homer, AK

I tell people that buying a home is like being pregnant... everyone has a horror story but in truth it alwmost alwyas works out just fine.. it would be nice if we could tell the family to butt out but usually we have to work thru it... I love your post!

Dec 29, 2009 04:41 AM

Marilyn Harrell

Better Homes and Acres - Beaverton, MI

Wixom Lake - Beaverton MI

I've seen the OVERLY involved parents! What's worse - one's that don't care at all, or ones that are buttinskis?

Dec 29, 2009 04:56 AM

Karen Fiddler, Broker/Owner

Karen Parsons-Fiddler, Broker 949-510-2395 - Mission Viejo, CA

Orange County & Lake Arrowhead, CA (949)510-2395

Absolutely....and especially stop telling them they are dumb, that they are paying too much, financing too much, can get all repairs handled, demand things from the banks etc. Jeesh...let them do their own homework and make their own decisions.

Dec 29, 2009 07:50 AM

Richard Weisser

Richard Weisser Realty - Newnan, GA

Richard Weisser Retired Real Estate Professional

C...

And so are those home television networks that make the decision making process interminable.

Dec 29, 2009 08:13 AM

Steve Shatsky

Dallas, TX

Hi Carolyn... it reminds me of those TV commercials where the guy in the operating room says "I'm not a brain surgeon, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night". The internet age seems to have made everyone an expert on everything... at least in their own minds.

Dec 29, 2009 09:27 AM

Jen Anderson

Exit By the Bay Realty - Chesapeake Beach, MD

Great post! Happy New Year!

Dec 30, 2009 10:43 PM

C Tann-Starr

Tann Starr & Associates, Inc. - Palm Bay, FL

I second Barbara (LOL).

Donna I agree. This market is very unique and people need to get their heads into the reality of the current situation and stop interjecting the past as a litmus test to today's viability.

John, erroneous information is a daily battle I have to defeat. I am exhausted with putting out fires from the constant bickering of family members who want things done their way.

LOL @ Paul. I tell my buyers if they don't start negotiations at 82% of the assessed value I am not the broker for them. I am not here to steal a sellers equity I am here to make a fair deal that people can live with. If it is a short sale or an REO that equation doesn't come into the mix, but if there is a family involved I find myself thinking what if it were my kids facing the street or my Granny trying to move. The buyer should have an equity cushion and the seller should get a decent offer. How friggin low ball do buyers think we're supposed to go? You can't do 82% don't call me. That's my glass ceiling.

Rebecca, I have a b*tch switch tee shirt (LOL). My hubby actually told me to put it on one day under my hoodie so when people piss me off I can open my jacket without saying a word (LMAO).

Dec 30, 2009 10:58 PM

C Tann-Starr

Tann Starr & Associates, Inc. - Palm Bay, FL

Carra, some will, some wont. I did get very interesting e-mail behind it (LOL). ;-)

Michael, I had very specific people in mind. I have four clients going crazy and enough is enough. The person living in the home should be the one deciding if they do or don't want to live there. People visiting should not be making demands on people buying. You want a pool? Buy your own bloody pool and stop making a third party responsible for your friggin happiness is my mantra of the week. I have been watching too many deals die for the most stupid of reasons. I also just picked up a buyer who has been looking all year yet managed to buy nothing. My new buyer spent a lot of time talking about what wasn't done so I was a very quiet agent trying to figure out the best way to service this buyer's needs since everyone who went before me managed not to. I am now being compared to X number of brokers before I even show one property. Geez... Family members projecting doom and gloom at the outset of any business relationship sucks. Can I do good or make my own mistakes without being tortured at a first meeting?

Lisa, I love you. The second look blues may have to be a post all its own (LOL). Kids are happy, Mom is picking out the nursery, Dad wont shut up about how they should save money buying a fixer upper like he did. He's handy. He'll help. Oh really? It's new friggin construction. What is your problem with your kids buying a house no one has ever lived in with a 25 year tax abatement and a long list of warranties? Did I mention off street parking, fully detached with a nice yard and gorgeous appliances? Are you kidding me? A fixer upper? I passed a silent friggin cow. They pulled their binder back because Dad wasn't happy. They are still looking. Someone else brought what used to be their dream house in a nice neighborhood they now can't afford. Dad is chilling in his own home while I watch my clients struggle with decisions regarding renewing their lease or not...

Dec 30, 2009 11:31 PM