What the heck is going on here? The economy is bad. Sarah Palin is running her fat trap and, yes, athletes are losing it. We have a whole subset of Americans whose wallets have not been affected by this economic downturn. Yet, these particular individuals have chosen to skid across the periphery of good judgment. Tiger has already won the "Booty Broker of the Year" award. Tiger congratulations. You are in a league of your own bro. Your choice to feed all your lovers a steady diet of Subway sandwiches has caused them to reciprocate with tawdry tales of your sexual misadventures. Next time, please don't skimp on the meals or the plane tickets.
The Snidely Whiplash Award for Gridiron Misconduct has got to go to "Big Ben I'd like to Turn the Clock Back Roethlisberger." Ben's fondness for drunken co-eds is bordering on pathological. Dare I say Penis Gate? Ben, in the name of all that is holy, please put it back in your pants. None of us needs to see the goods. Before you could say indecent exposure, Ben's bodyguard/security detail got involved and blocked the bathroom where the alleged sexual assault was taking place. I don't think I understand. Ben Roethlisberger has gone to the trouble of hiring all this security for his weekly outings. Now my area of expertise doesn't involve hiring people to watch my back, but it would seem to me that the people I hire are there to actually perform a service. Private security is a profession like any other. It seems to me that security is hired to keep you out of trouble, not get you into it. I don't know, I might subtly mention to Ben that dragging a 20 year old college student to the bathroom trousers akimbo may not be the smartest thing to do. Now that's just me. His security actually blocked the door. What is this Fast Times at Ridgemont High?
Call me dense, but I am still trying to understand the whole private security concept. Bringing your own cops to a nightclub is like bringing your own referees to a football game. Guess who's going to get called for a penalty, not you?
"Naw sir, Mr. Roethlisberger didn't fondle that young girl's breasts. I think it was the guy carrying the golf clubs. Yeah, he drove out of here in a Buick."
The Mayor of Milledgeville, Georgia certainly has an interest in bringing tourists to his sleepy town. Well it hasn't remained sleepy ever since Big Ben rolled through the town like a Viagra powered eighteen wheeler. What was Ben Roethlisberger doing in Milledgeville, Georgia, population 20,000? I guess Ben figured dropping his line in a place like Milledgeville was pretty much like shooting fish in a barrel. Maybe, but it sounds like Ben ended up shooting his own foot off in the process. Now Ben is facing a imminent suspension from the NFL. I don't even want to think about the amount of money he is going to lose.
Ben what are you doing hanging out in a small town snatching booty? Damn Ben, you give a whole new meaning to the word Steeler. Except down in Georgia you were spelling it stealer, not Steeler. A multi-millionaire football player doesn't have to chase women. Ben, newsflash, it's the other way around. Based on your fame and fortune, there are women who would line up around the corner to take a crack at you. Tiger stay off the cell phone. You don't need to entice women to sleep with you by sending x-rated text messages. You just send them a Subway gift card and you are in there like swimwear.
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