Bathroom Break

I distinctly remember driving along the highway that morning, drinking loads of caffeine, and thinking that things are looking up.  Things are getting better.   I'm feeling good.  It's going to be a great day. 

This is a newly assigned condominium unit and my job today is to meet a contractor there to formulate a work order repair list.   It is some 30 miles away from my home and by the time I get there I really need to use the restroom.

I open the unit and leave my keys, cell phone and handbag on the kitchen counter and head for the bathroom.  I really have to go now.  There is no electricity because I still have to find the box in order to flip on the switches.  There are no windows in this bathroom and so it is really dark.  But I really have to go.  Like now.  

I don't want the contractor to walk in on me so I lock the door and do what I have to do as quickly as possible.  The little stream of light from under the door is sufficient.   Relief!

Time to get to work.  Contractor is not here yet so I guess I'll get started making a list.  But, the bathroom door won't open.  Hmm.  Maybe there's a trick to it?  Maybe it's some kind of new lock?  Why won't it open?  I'm twisting and turning and nothing is working.  It feels like the walls are starting to close in on me.  How do I get out of here?  There are no windows.  It's a concrete building.  Nobody can hear me yelling.  Panic.

Now I can't breathe.  I lay on the floor pressing my head against the bottom of the door just to see outside.  Think, think, think.  Wait, I know!  The contractor will be coming soon.  He will rescue me.  Just breathe. 

Now I can hear my cell phone ringing from the kitchen counter.  Is that him?  Is he late?  Maybe he's not coming.  I decide it was really dumb not to tell my office or my family where I was going. 

Twist the knob, panic, lay down.  Twist the knob, panic, lay down.

Maybe I can punch a hole through the door?  Several of my tenants have seemed to master that skill.   It was a pathetic attempt.  My knuckes hurt and are wet.  Blood.   I can't do it.  Now I'm getting mad. 

I feel the towel bar next to the door.  To my surprise, I have no problem pulling it right out of the wall.   And I let that door knob have it with everything I've got.  I beat it mercilessly until it is hanging from the hole and I can finally open the door. 

Now you know why my cell phone goes everywhere I go - especially the bathroom.