Brave realtor takes listing with dogs, snakes, monkey, macaws....would you?

 

The One That Got Away

 Once upon a time, when the world and I were young, another agent was on floor duty and I was in the office trying to get my MLS book in order (remember those days?) . She got a phone call, spoke for a time and came over to my desk.

She asked what I would trade for a new listing. We traded everything in this office, I wrote ads in exchange for someone else organizing my MLS book. We traded open houses, if one of us had a problem with a buyer or seller, we traded them to someone else, we traded everything.

 

 I needed a new listing. I offered my open house holding availability, my ad writing skills, threw in some babysitting and got the listing for my own. As I was leaving the office, I thought to ask her why she didn't want the listing. She said the owner wanted an animal lover.

 

Great! I LOVE animals. I went off to the listing appointment, the elderly owner requested that I dispense with the listing presentation, she was sure I could sell her home in record time, and it was going to take a while to introduce me to the animals.

 

She signed every page of our agreement, when I asked her to read what she was signing she told me that at her age she had seen it all before.

 

We went to meet the animals. First, an Irish Wolfhound bigger than I was, one St. Bernard and a pair of Greyhounds had the run of most of the home with a dog door to the back yard.

 

It seemed she was going out of town for a few days and expected the listing agent to stop by and feed the menagerie.

OK. I was young, enthusiastic and hungry. I agreed.

Around the indoor pool, were cages that contained a capuchin monkey and two macaws. 

 

I took copious notes about when, how, and how much to feed them.  What routine to follow to clean cages.

Then we went to the basement to see the snakes.  Two large constrictors, each of them several feet longer than I was tall. 

 

  I put up the sign and lockbox, turned in the listing info at the office and made a couple of copies of the feeding and care instructions for the critters. 

 

 

 

 

I went by the home twice a day to clean cages and feed my new furred, feathered and scaled friends. I wanted the home clean, odor free and presentable if someone came to show it.

Everyone at the office knew the owner was out of town, they were to call me if an appointment was made to show it so I could go by and confine the animals until after the showing.

 

 Someone forgot. Told an agent from another brokerage the home was on lockbox and she could show it anytime.

 

 

 

I was in the basement about to feed the snakes, who had the run (crawl?) of the basement unless someone was coming. I heard barking upstairs and then a loud thud followed by screaming.

 

 I ran up the stairs to find the hapless agent on the floor with the St Bernard and wolfhound vigorously licking her face while the greyhounds stood half way down the hall barking.

They were large dogs and their welcomes were exuberant. The agent had tried to retreat and tripped.

The clients had closed the door to protect themselves and left the agent to be devoured, or as the case really was, to be licked to the consistency of mashed potatoes.This was not going well.

 I got the dogs away from her, apologized as I got the four excited dogs into their kennels. Calmed the monkey and macaws who were screaming at the unusual activity.

 We found the clients and brought them into the house, explained that the animals were friendly and confined, and the agent began showing the home.

 I went to the basement to confine the snakes. I looped and looped and looped the brown spotted snake into his cage and then discovered I couldn't find the other. Missing was the albino (who was really sort of cream and yellow with red eyes) not visible anywhere.

 

 I heard the buyers and their agent at the top of the stairs and covered the cage (not everyone wants to see snakes in the basement) and prayed.

 

They all seemed recovered from their initial fright, were liking the home, and were impressed with the nicely finished basement. I was standing in front of the cage, folding towels from the clothes basket as sort of an excuse for being there.

 

I was chatting with the other agent as I picked up a towel and of course ...the snake was under that towel and raised her head to see if her late dinner was about to be served, just in time to see the backs of the agent and the nice couple who had liked the house up to that point.

 

I was later advised that Mrs Buyer said she would never feel safe in that home, she would never forget the sight of that huge snake head raising up from the clothes basket.  

I was advised by the highly incensed agent that her well qualified buyers settled for a home they liked less that didn't have snakes.

 I have since advised my sellers to remove the snakes from the home before listing it. And the monkeys. And the Macaws. And the large, exuberant dogs. It is unbelievably difficult to sell the Animal House.