The Right Comment at the Right Time!

By
Managing Real Estate Broker with Flexit Realty "Flexible Home Selling Solutions"

We hear about "the Right Comment at the Right Time" can make a difference in peoples lives and choices.

As real estate agents and broker's we are constantly asked, "what do you think?"  That is because of our professional status as a Realtor.  We make life changing comments that sway buyers and sellers in their decision making process.

Do you take the time to make sure you step forward in your life to help more than just your real estate clients?  Sometimes neighbors, friends and family need an ear.  The Right Comment at the Right Time.

My father-in-law is in the advanced stage of dementia.  He has good moments but not good days.  His wife has few people she can confide in about her loss of her husband.  Not the physical loss, the emotional loss.  The conversations, the tender touches the little gestures we become so attached too when married for a long time.

My wife can give me a look, and I immediately know if she is anxious, bored or ready to leave.  I also know if it isWhen people need the Right Comment at the Right Time! an approving look, a skeptical look or a bewildered look!  We develop these signals without saying a word.  It can be heart breaking when they fade away.  You see the person you have known for years, remembering each wrinkle, scar and gesture.

I don't think most of us realize how impact-full our words and gestures can be to our clients and those around us.

I rarely say anything about a brand or company but individuals I think should be recognized.  

A local CVS pharmacist shared some information with my mother-in-law about a medicine, and politely asked, does your husband have dementia?  Her husband was not with her at the time so this was the first time they had a conversation specific to her situation.  She had been told by the attending doctor what to expect.  She had also had numerous conversations with my wife and read extensively on the subject of dementia.  That doesn't make it any better or easier to go through.

The pharmacist said, my father had dementia.  He continued, "I worked in a facility specific for dementia patients.  It is so emotional to lose the person you have known and still have them standing in front of you with a blank look."  He shared how he, his mother and wife had to make the agonizing decision to place his father in a adult care facility to be able to save his mother, who loved and cared for his father.

The mother was wearing out, serving his father's every need.  Making sure of his safety.  Trying to include him in daily life activities.  He said it was difficult to go out to eat because he wanted to share his stories with anyone who would listen.  Sometimes people at the next table or across the room.  He would get up and wonder over, interrupt them and ask if their meal was as good as his.   Or if they recognized him from his volunteering efforts he did (12 years ago) for veterans and street people.

Our words can make an impact on more than just our clients.  Our referrals to the right agency, caregivers or social services extend our influence and value creating a better community.

If you would like more information on Alzheimer's and Dementia  Information specific to Caregivers 

 

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Rainer
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Cara Lam
Gladewater National Bank, NMLS#1009328 - Pinellas Park, FL
Cara Lam, Gladewater National Bank

Gary- What a great article. I studied Gerontology at USF and one of my last classes was in Alzheimer's and Dementia.. it is a very tough stage to go through in anyone's life and the challenge that it presents its self on the family members...we all have to remember that we do influence one another in many ways than just one....

Thanks for sharing!!!

Make it a Great Day!!

Mar 01, 2013 12:57 AM #1
Ambassador
2,347,901
Fred Griffin presently on Leave of Absence
Fred Griffin Real Estate - Tallahassee, FL
Licensed Florida Real Estate Broker

A good friend of mine is going through this right now...  he is only in his 60's, but he is fading away.   Thanks for your Blog.

 

Mar 01, 2013 01:06 AM #2
Rainmaker
677,056
Cara Marcelle Mancuso
Long Realty - Dove Mountain, Marana AZ - Tucson, AZ
Call a Marana neighbor, I'm THERE! LONG REALTY

Really really nice and timely story.  My mother in law is suffering from Parkinson's and really deteriorating quickly.  She's still witty, but doesn't know why she's in the hospital.  It's rough.

Mar 01, 2013 02:53 AM #3
Rainmaker
1,002,006
June Piper-Brandon
Long & Foster Hampden - Baltimore, MD
Piecing Dreams One Home at a Time

Gary, I don't think there are many people who have not been touched in some small or big way by someone with dementia.  My maternal Grandfather had Parkinson's and deteriorated over several years and the tole it took on my Grandmother was severe.  At the end of her life she too suffered with dementia which was very hard on my mother and the people who cared for her.  We need to be ever mindful of those around us and offer help and support where we can.  We need to give back to our neighbors, our friends and our family members and pay it forward, like the Pharmacist at CVS.  Good luck to you and yours Gary.

Mar 01, 2013 06:36 AM #4
Rainmaker
972,041
Beth and Richard Witt
Long Island Cash Home Buyer - Huntington, NY
Long Island Cash Home Buyer 516-330-6940

Very sad... We wish you and your the very best...

Mar 01, 2013 09:29 AM #5
Rainmaker
899,794
Joy Daniels
Joy Daniels Real Estate Group, Ltd. - Harrisburg, PA
Our words are critical...we can help or hurt a situation by our words or lack thereof if needed. You wrote a great post that I hope will serve as an encouragement
Mar 01, 2013 11:19 AM #6
Rainmaker
1,073,964
Gary White~Grand Rapids Home Selling Pro Call: 616-821-9375
Flexit Realty "Flexible Home Selling Solutions" - Grand Rapids, MI
Real Estate Services You can Trust!

Hi Cara, thanks for taking the time to comment, many times our words and good deeds mean more to others than we ever know.  Thanks again for your comments.

Hi Fred, sorry to hear about your friend at such a young age.  Visit him while you both can still enjoy each other.  Thanks for the comments Fred.

Hi Cara, sorry to hear about your mother-in-law, I don't know to many people that haven't had a family member or someone they know not touched.  Thanks for the comments Cara.

Hello June, hope all is well with you.  Sorry been on an education tear the last year.  Finished my Master's in Website Design and Internet Marketing.  Thanks for you comments June.  The pay-it-forward part of life is something anyone can do and it doesn't have to cost a dime!  Thanks for the comments June.  Have a great year.

Hi Richard & Beth, these things are sad and most of the care giving always is shouldered by so few even in large families.  Thanks for your comments.

Hi Joy, I was hoping to give people a little perspective and share some of the agencies that offer help.  Thanks for your comments Joy.

Mar 01, 2013 07:42 PM #7
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Rainmaker
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Gary White~Grand Rapids Home Selling Pro Call: 616-821-9375

Real Estate Services You can Trust!
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