Most of us have gone to lunch or dinner with some friends. How many times have you had friends over for dinner at your home? How many new contacts that you've barely met have been invited to dinner at your home? Some of us even have a hard time getting the family around the table more then once a week, let alone invite over some relative stranger!
So after reading one of the chapters in "Never Eat Alone", by Keith Ferrazzi, it occurred to me that I need to expand my network of nocturnal eating companions. Kieth makes some excellent suggestions as to how to bring different people to your table for a meet and greet. One suggestion is that you find and anchor tenant. An anchor tenant is someone like a priest, local politician, actor or actresss. Perhaps the anchor is a local or national journalist. In other words the anchor tenant is someone who can move past our normal social boundaries. Most of the time we like to eat or socialize with those we feel the most comfortable. Have you ever been at a large company dinner party. Usually the "suits" eat together, the marketing department eats together with little interaction with the other group. Humans tend to group together with those who are either similar or same social status and tend to feel uncomfortable breaking down or into other social strata. Therefore you need an anchor tenant, someone that transcends the group think mentality, someone who relates with every social group or strata.
The other thing we need to realize is that it doesn't have to be some over blown affair. No need to make your dinner party into a wedding dinner! So keep it simple and make it fun!
Here are some other tips suggested by Keith Ferrazzi with my own spin on them...
#1 create a them.... At first this took me back, but then he cited several examples. It makes sense when you
think about it. "Monday night 24 club" (based on the 24 hour show), or a business theme, "Millionaire Agent Dinner". People who attend like to know their is a basic reason or purpose and love to go to creative dinners. Again it doesn't have to be an elaborate affair, but perhaps some creative touches should be included for your dinner. Atmosphere needs to be conductive for people to relax. I know a friend of mind who is building a new office for his mortgage company. He's making the basement of this large office building into a relaxing recreational area, with billiard tables and large screen TV's! So instead of going to his office for business, it could also be a fun affair as well.
#2 Invitations.....Anyone remember the recent movie, "Count of Monte Cristo", you had to admire the cool invitations that the count sent for his dinner party. Of course that type of printing may break the budget, but invitations are a must, even if they are email.
#3 Don't be a kitchen slave....Sometimes people use caters, and if you can afford it, do it. But if your like allot of people that can't afford that type of party, then cook the meal the night before, or buy takeout food from local deli's. Often their are businesses that specialize in cooking meals for party's. Just open the phone book and check out meals on wheels, caters. One suggestion made by Keith Ferrazzi is to keep it simple. Make one large dish, like a stew or chili that can be prepared a day or two ahead of time. Serve it with bread and salad. That's all you need. For those whom drink, he suggests great wine! I'm LDS, so I have to be a little more creative in my beverage of choice, but you can still be creative and make it fun.
#4 Create atmosphere.....Make sure if your a single guy that you CLEAN the place before having anyone over for dinner! Don't blow your bank roll on too much, but think about putting some flowers, candles in the room your going to use for the party. Perhaps dim the lights or find some smooth jazzy music to play in the background. If you don't have a bartender, get your kids involved and dress them up in some snappy uniform that you put together (THE KIDS AND GUESTS LOVE THIS TYPE OF CREATIVITY), then have them serve drinks so that your friends know they can relax and enjoy....**If your serving alcohol, make sure that family member is legally able to serve it! Personally I don't worry about serving alcohol, because if it's a mixed party I have a wet bar available for those whom to imbibe. The kid's serve foo foo drinks that are non-alcoholic.
#5 Forget being formal.....Hey these are friends, and you want a relaxed atmosphere. You can show off in your new duds at the office or on a formal appointment. If your going to dress up at all, the maybe where jeans and a light dinner jacket if your male. If female then where an appropriate casual skirt, pant, or outfit that you'd where at a family party.
#6 Don't seat couples together....This one makes allot of sense. The whole point of this type of party is to get to know others. If your wife is usually a wallflower and you tend to do most of the talking in a normal dinner appointment with one other couple, then make sure she's sitting with a whole other group of people. This forces her and you to really develop other relationships with others at the party. We have someone in our local congregation that used to work at the white house. They said that at white house dinners, you NEVER sit with your spouse. They always split up the guests so that it will stimulate interesting conversation.
#7 Most important rule of all...JUST RELAX....This is supposed to be fun. Roll with any problems that may crop up during the dinner. Most people are very forgiving if the company is entertaining.
After reading this chapter and thinking about dinner parties I've attended in the past, I had one of those, Oh my gosh moments. Hit your self on the side of the head and say duh!!! Why haven't I participated or hosted more of these parties!!
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